Ceci N'est Pas Une Pipeline: A report released by the Obama administration at 4 p.m. Friday seems pretty optimistic about the XL Pipeline. Spills of the dirtiest known oil on planet Earth are expected to be "rare and small," that the greenhouse emissions will not be that big, and that the project won't vastly expand the tar sands project.
Another App Hacked: Hopefully your grocery list is the topmost secret on your Evernote, because someone wants to read it. Thirty-four million Evernote users have to change their passwords after the app was hacked Saturday.
Sprayed in the Face While Waiting for the School Bus: Thirteen-year-old girl sprayed in the fucking face with an unknown substance while waiting to go to school is one of two attempted abductions by a total abduction amateur in Bellingham on Friday. This follows a string of unsuccessful abductions near the Western Washington campus earlier in February.
Too Much Parking on the Hill? The only way to find parking on the Hill is if you're driving a Car2Go or if you live in a condo. And it turns out that parking for condo development is in part to blame for the absolutely ludicrous rent crisis.