President Obama dropped some harsh language in a press conference a few minutes ago, saying that he wouldn't just agree to "dumb, arbitrary cuts" and warning that the sequester cuts will start to cause "pain" immediately, leading to layoffs, pay cuts, and furloughs, weakening the economy. Obama repeatedly reminded the press that the American people are on his side, including a majority of Republicans, explaining that "we just need Republicans in Congress to catch up with their own party and their country on this."

Also, in a terrible blow to nerds everywhere, President Obama accidentally fused two beloved science fiction franchises together when he said he can't do a "Jedi mind-meld" to get Republicans to do what he wants them to do. The president will probably be burned in effigy at Emerald City Comicon later today for this mistake.