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News & ArtsFriday, March 1, 2013
Teh Internets Really Enjoying The Dowager Pontiff
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Mar 1, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Someone remind me to erase my browser history before I leave.
— Dowager Pontiff (@dowagerpontiff) February 21, 2013
Don't worry, y'all. While I am quitting my official Twitter account, you can still reach me through Grindr.
— Dowager Pontiff (@dowagerpontiff) February 22, 2013
Oh shit. I forgot to erase my browser history on my work computer. Shit shit shit.
— Dowager Pontiff (@dowagerpontiff) February 28, 2013
2
I wish some hackers would get a list of web sites visited by the Vatican computers. In the meantime, there's the Dowager.
3
He can delete it later. He's coming back, you know; he's going to live in the Vatican, and wear the white cassock, and call himself Pope Emeritus, and best of all he's going to keep his boyfriend, handsome Georg Gaenswein (his name even has "gay" in it!), who will continue to live with him, and serve as both HIS secretary and secretary to the new pope, whoever that turns out to be.
He's not fucking going anywhere. He's going to run the new guy like a puppet, even if the new guy gets to wear the red Pradas. Bennie's going to have to make do with his new brown handmade slippers.
He's staying in the Vatican to avoid prosecution for sex crimes in the church (including in the Vatican itself). It's a sovereign state.
This is the weirdest time for papal intrigue since the 1500s, when half the popes were either gay or had mistresses and children and everything. Or maybe since the Borgias. It's certainly fascinating to watch.
He's not fucking going anywhere. He's going to run the new guy like a puppet, even if the new guy gets to wear the red Pradas. Bennie's going to have to make do with his new brown handmade slippers.
He's staying in the Vatican to avoid prosecution for sex crimes in the church (including in the Vatican itself). It's a sovereign state.
This is the weirdest time for papal intrigue since the 1500s, when half the popes were either gay or had mistresses and children and everything. Or maybe since the Borgias. It's certainly fascinating to watch.
5
@4, power is sexy, or so I hear. He could go hunkier, but there's only one Pope. I'll bet he spends all his free time rolling around in piles of gold and jewels.
6
I hate the title "Emeritus Pope", like he has some merit or something. I hope the media would ignore it and keep calling him the ex-pope (or half pope, reminiscent of Sarah Palin the half governor).
But dowager pontiff, that's excellent. FTW.
But dowager pontiff, that's excellent. FTW.
9
Loving @dowagerpontiff - thx Dan.
Also liking @pontifexfalsum -- he/she just tweeted he got suspended for 2 weeks!
There are some more out there including @pontifexfalsus but I can't read Latin. All are way better than the real pope's twitter.
Also liking @pontifexfalsum -- he/she just tweeted he got suspended for 2 weeks!
There are some more out there including @pontifexfalsus but I can't read Latin. All are way better than the real pope's twitter.
10
@7, "A dowager is a widow who holds a title or property, or dower, derived from her deceased husband. As an adjective, "dowager" usually appears in association with monarchical and aristocratic titles."
So it is quite snarkily apt, I think.
So it is quite snarkily apt, I think.
11
@PontifexFalsum here, thanks be to God (or SLOGgers) for intervening and getting Twitter to reverse our suspension. Down with the Catholic thought police who got us suspended.
@dowagerpontiff -- Heaven may be big enough for hundreds of dead popes, but is Twitter big enough for two fake popes? Can Dan be pope-oly-amarous and love both of us?
Or is he pope-a-mogamous and will he unfollow me?
Mitres off to you, @dowagerpontiff - see you on Grindr along with Cardinal O'Brien. :-) @PontifexFalsum
@dowagerpontiff -- Heaven may be big enough for hundreds of dead popes, but is Twitter big enough for two fake popes? Can Dan be pope-oly-amarous and love both of us?
Or is he pope-a-mogamous and will he unfollow me?
Mitres off to you, @dowagerpontiff - see you on Grindr along with Cardinal O'Brien. :-) @PontifexFalsum
12
@10,
It also implies that her husband's heir is currently in control of the aristocratic title. The Dowager Empress, the Queen Dowager, these titles confer a measure of respect to the dowager but still makes it clear that she wields no official power in government.
It also implies that her husband's heir is currently in control of the aristocratic title. The Dowager Empress, the Queen Dowager, these titles confer a measure of respect to the dowager but still makes it clear that she wields no official power in government.
14
@11
Based on his column, he'll obviously be pope-a-monogamish. One of you can be his partner, but he's free to screw around on the side.
Based on his column, he'll obviously be pope-a-monogamish. One of you can be his partner, but he's free to screw around on the side.
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