Slog
News & ArtsThursday, February 28, 2013
Chow Local Juice Company Accuses Stranger Writer of Being a Food and Alcohol Addict
Posted by Cienna Madrid on Thu, Feb 28, 2013 at 11:26 AM
As you might have read on Slog or in our paper, a few weeks ago local juice company Strawberry Moon Juice challenged a Stranger writer to take their three or five-day juice cleanse and write about it. Their pitch to us simply stated, "... we are trying to find journalist to blog or write about doing a juice cleanse. If you have anyone with the Stranger that would like to take the challenge we would supply the juice, support & knowledge." (BTW, there was little-to-no "support & knowledge." Just juice.)
News writer Anna Minard accepted their challenge and wrote about her experience, which basically hammered home how shitty it feels to deprive your body of food for five days straight. In response, the Strawberry Moon Juice people have gotten a little defensive on their blog, and basically called Minard a food and alcohol addict.
Much has be said about Anna’s approach. Because her fast was not approached with any serious intention the outcome could be predicted... Unfortunately we offered the challenge to someone who’s main outcome was to entertain the public with high jinks.
In other words, drinking juice for five days straight like we asked isn't taking juice seriously enough! You must drink juice until you're so overcome with juice lust that you're stroking yourself with empty juice bottles and begging for more juice!
Then they suggest Minard work on overcoming her crippling dependencies before drinking juice again:
It's a shame that Anna Minard did not enjoy her juice fast. Wrestling food and alcohol dependancies [sic] are hard. Some will kick and scream their way through it, others grin and bear it.
If our sweet and nerdy former books-intern-turned-copy-editor-turned-local-news-writer is the litmus test for food and alcohol addiction, then the rest of us are basically walking sacs of jelly-bean flavored vodka.
1
"Kicking a food addiction can really take it out of you." Is it too soon to accredit that fakequote to Karen Carpenter?
4
Hi, my name is treacle, and I'm a food addict. I am ashamed to say that I eat food every day, so much so that I have become completely dependent on food to stay alive. I've tried many, many times to quit, but I become weak and always return to the safety of the habit of eating food. I ask for your strength and support here today to help me abstain from this terrible addiction, and finally find the freedom and release of starvation. *sob!*
5
God, I know right!? If I could just get over my Oxygen dependency, life would be fucking fantastic. I'd be so damn healthy.
9
Wow, I'm amazed. I was really into follwing these juice fast blogs, almost converted into trying it myself with this company. With their attitude, I'm glad I didn't!
10
i woulda done it! i love a good juice fast, and i do them rather a lot. $200 worth of free juice and i can stop abusing my loud, crazy, prehistoric jack lalaine powerjuicer every morning? LOTTERY.
12
"high jinks"!!
It might just be the food high I'm riding pretty hard right now...but this is hilarious! Now excuse me while I do up a "bowl" of food to get me through my afternoon at work... 12:00 right? Ya, you know what I'm talking about!
It might just be the food high I'm riding pretty hard right now...but this is hilarious! Now excuse me while I do up a "bowl" of food to get me through my afternoon at work... 12:00 right? Ya, you know what I'm talking about!
14
@1 So glad I did not have anything in my mouth.
@5 And you could be the world's greatest free-diver. Damn this reality shit.
@5 And you could be the world's greatest free-diver. Damn this reality shit.
17
I'll bet that feckless Minard gets cranky when she gives up breathing, too. Come on, you people, TOUGHEN UP. I recommend my new "walk around with a piece of glass in your shoe for a week" diet.
18
So... the promised miraculous benefits occur only if you already firmly believe in the promised miraculous benefits?
Let me guess: the active ingredient is labratory-grade placebo, right?
Let me guess: the active ingredient is labratory-grade placebo, right?
19
hahah this reminds me of a section from "The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe" (written by Jane Wagner & performed by Lily Tomlin) which is said by Agnes Angst, a character who is a "rebellious" teenager who sometimes lives with her grandparents:
On the radio, I hear the weatherman say, "The air today is unacceptable. People with breathing problems should not go out."
I wanted to shout, "What's unacceptable is that the *air* is unacceptable!"
I think: Wow, breathing is a bio-hazard.
If we don't take in air every few minutes, we die, but the air we are taking in is killing us.
I rush to my Behavior Modification Center, hoping they can help me cut down on my habit of *breathing.*
In the cubicle next to mine I hear: "Do you want to stop *drinking*?"
"No."
"Do you want to stop *smoking*?"
"No."
"Do you want to stop *overeating*?"
"No. I want to stop caring that I eat and drink and smoke too much!"
On the radio, I hear the weatherman say, "The air today is unacceptable. People with breathing problems should not go out."
I wanted to shout, "What's unacceptable is that the *air* is unacceptable!"
I think: Wow, breathing is a bio-hazard.
If we don't take in air every few minutes, we die, but the air we are taking in is killing us.
I rush to my Behavior Modification Center, hoping they can help me cut down on my habit of *breathing.*
In the cubicle next to mine I hear: "Do you want to stop *drinking*?"
"No."
"Do you want to stop *smoking*?"
"No."
"Do you want to stop *overeating*?"
"No. I want to stop caring that I eat and drink and smoke too much!"
21
Apparently, a food addiction is all about fat coating your tongue,
*Not sure what "STI" refers to in this context.
Anna’s avocado taste [sic] so good because a week of not eating combined with the “burn” of astringent green juice (with or without STI’s)* actually cleans fat off the tongue.
*Not sure what "STI" refers to in this context.
22
So you tried it once and found it's all right for kicks, but now you're addicted to entertaining the public with high jinks -- you're a foo-oood addict! foo-oo-oood addict!
23
My food addiction is under control, more or less ... now if I could only break that nasty habit of getting high on jinks!
25
@1 is on target. These people are selling an eating disorder. Please start calling "cleanses" what they are: a form of binge-purging.
26
Are you sure these juice pushers aren't Hubbardites? (scientologists)
Perhaps if you just followed their plan, you could achieve "clear" juice status, which sounds a lot like water, because it is.
Perhaps if you just followed their plan, you could achieve "clear" juice status, which sounds a lot like water, because it is.
27
You really showed that small local organic sustainable company! Next time you should spit on children waiting in line at the food bank and liveblog it!
28
@11 There are so many mistakes in that blog post, you would think they were once Stranger writers or something.
31
Also, while I enjoy juice as much as the next person, I'd feel really wasteful throwing away all that perfectly good fiber by not eating those fruits and veggies whole instead.
32
Smug self-righteousness is so unattactive. PR fail. What's wrong with having a little fun with your image? Oh, I forgot, they're selling the moral high-ground.
33
I read:
'Anna’s avocado taste so good because a week of not eating combined with the “burn” of astringent green juice (with or without STD’s) actually cleans fat off the tongue. '
!!!!!!
'Anna’s avocado taste so good because a week of not eating combined with the “burn” of astringent green juice (with or without STD’s) actually cleans fat off the tongue. '
!!!!!!
34
y'all must not be talking about strawberry moon. if she didn't do the fast, she didn't do the fast. some people are getting a little defensive! just like anything..you get what you put in. from my perspective....she could have stated the fast wasn't for her but she went so far as to degrade the benefits of detoxification and enzymes....the fast might not be easy but that doesn't mean it isn't worth doing....watch FAT SICK and NEARLY DEAD to see what can happen if you stick with it....
35
@21 and @33
"My dinner juice was kale, celery, parsley, dandelion, ginger, and lime. The combo made my mouth burn, like if your front lawn came to life and you gave it a blowjob, and then you found out it had grass STIs." - http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/over-…
This is a quote from the article printed in the paper version of the Stranger, but it was also in the original blog post.
It was a joke from Anna that, when taken out of context like Strawberry Moon Juice did in their blog, seems to imply that Anna is a Dirty Whore with lots and lots of sex mouth disease. Not very nice.
I think Strawberry Moon Juice was just hurt that Anna didn't change her ENTIRE LIFE TO FOCUS ON JUICE!!!!!
"My dinner juice was kale, celery, parsley, dandelion, ginger, and lime. The combo made my mouth burn, like if your front lawn came to life and you gave it a blowjob, and then you found out it had grass STIs." - http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/over-…
This is a quote from the article printed in the paper version of the Stranger, but it was also in the original blog post.
It was a joke from Anna that, when taken out of context like Strawberry Moon Juice did in their blog, seems to imply that Anna is a Dirty Whore with lots and lots of sex mouth disease. Not very nice.
I think Strawberry Moon Juice was just hurt that Anna didn't change her ENTIRE LIFE TO FOCUS ON JUICE!!!!!
38
@34: Read the damn article—Anna DID do the fast. She ate only one avocado in five days (raw food is allowed by the Strawberry Moon people "if you absolutely need to eat," which, um, HUMANS DO).
@people confused by the STIs reference: That's from a very funny description in Anna's article.
And the Strawberry Moon people need to STEP OFF. Just because Anna is a very funny writer does not mean they can impugn her "serious intention." You have to be pretty goddamn serious to not eat food for five days, and Anna is a very responsible person.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/over-…
@people confused by the STIs reference: That's from a very funny description in Anna's article.
And the Strawberry Moon people need to STEP OFF. Just because Anna is a very funny writer does not mean they can impugn her "serious intention." You have to be pretty goddamn serious to not eat food for five days, and Anna is a very responsible person.
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/over-…
41
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Breatharian…
Jesus christ, I don't know what it is with juicers and raw foodists where they seem to have unfunny eating disorders. I'm on a blog for raw foodies (hey, I like recipes...) and they have regular talks about it as a "cure" for their eating disorder and I get very unpleasant feelings from reading their accounts.
Jesus christ, I don't know what it is with juicers and raw foodists where they seem to have unfunny eating disorders. I'm on a blog for raw foodies (hey, I like recipes...) and they have regular talks about it as a "cure" for their eating disorder and I get very unpleasant feelings from reading their accounts.
42
@34: " she went so far as to degrade the benefits of detoxification"
This may have something to do with you not knowing what the fuck you're babbling about.
This may have something to do with you not knowing what the fuck you're babbling about.
43
Your tongue gets coated with fats, sugars, and all the other gross stuff you eat? And that coating only gets thicker the older you get (and the more of that icky food you eat)?
Shit, from now on I'm seriously sticking with my vodka-martini-only diet.
Shit, from now on I'm seriously sticking with my vodka-martini-only diet.
44
I'm choosing to read that as "Wrestling, food, and alcohol dependencies are hard."
Something something Slim Jim-infused vodka.
Something something Slim Jim-infused vodka.
45
Thanks for the clarification on the "STI" back-reference everybody.
@34, it's the "enzymes" thing I'm not getting. Since you're obviously from Strawberry Moon Juice, can you tell me more about how eating (or drinking) enzymes is important to one's health?
@34, it's the "enzymes" thing I'm not getting. Since you're obviously from Strawberry Moon Juice, can you tell me more about how eating (or drinking) enzymes is important to one's health?
46
@45, enzymes are great. Eat a papaya, it won't hurt you. Makes you fart less, and poop mo' betta'. You don't have to juice it, though; you're better off just eating your food like a normal person.
48
Juice cleanse is crazy, I do like to use a juicer to up my vegetable intake during the week though. Glass of home made lawn juice and oatmeal in the morning ain't bad. :)
49
@45. since you asked nicely....i am actually NOT from strawberry moon nor am i AFFILIATED WITH THEM IN ANY WAY. I do however LOVE juicing and know it has done wonders for me in terms of health. It's not rocket science....by juicing you are blasting a shit ton of nutrients into your body SUPER FAST...it's like a lightening charge of energy....I would encourage you to try it....you dont need to do a fast...simply add it to your daily routine.
@46. normal people don't eat fruits and vegetables. The average american is obese and at risk for a multitude of diseases. instead of thinking of how beneficial it is to instead eat fruits and vegetables...one should look at how much they are actually honestly eating. the average happy meal loving individual will say zero...and that's why juicing is LIKE GOD POURING A VIAL OF LOVE INTO YOUR VEINS. If you aren't getting these vital nutrients at all...this is a way to sort of cheat and get them in.
@46. normal people don't eat fruits and vegetables. The average american is obese and at risk for a multitude of diseases. instead of thinking of how beneficial it is to instead eat fruits and vegetables...one should look at how much they are actually honestly eating. the average happy meal loving individual will say zero...and that's why juicing is LIKE GOD POURING A VIAL OF LOVE INTO YOUR VEINS. If you aren't getting these vital nutrients at all...this is a way to sort of cheat and get them in.
52
@49 stop with the preaching already...juice works for you great. stop saving the world already. we're ok.
53
@49: That is nice and all, but it could be the "pouring of love" directly in that could be causing more problems. When we chew our food, our saliva starts the digestion process (including of sugar), and fiber in the food helps to buffer us from the massive sugar spike we'd get from gulping the juice straight down. This is why I no longer do smoothies - I decided it was better for me to chew and process the ingredients in my mouth first to slow the absorption of nutrients rather than pump it all straight into my stomach. Also, why throw out all that good fiber?
(FYI: I do high-veg low-carb and love me my fruits, but I also am very sensitive to excessive sugar intake, even of natural sugars, if I don't get enough protein and fat to balance it out)
(FYI: I do high-veg low-carb and love me my fruits, but I also am very sensitive to excessive sugar intake, even of natural sugars, if I don't get enough protein and fat to balance it out)
56
@49- You make me laugh.
Seriously, blasting your body with nutrients means pissing out a whole lot of nutrients. A healthy, well balanced diet involves chewing every day. Juice fasts, colon cleanses, etc... are sellable gimmicks. The normal American will get healthier if they would exercise a little more, reduce their serving size and eat some more vegetables. Guzzling expensive "health" products for a week is just as effective as buying a bowflex, working out all day for a week, then putting in the basement and forgetting about it.
Seriously, blasting your body with nutrients means pissing out a whole lot of nutrients. A healthy, well balanced diet involves chewing every day. Juice fasts, colon cleanses, etc... are sellable gimmicks. The normal American will get healthier if they would exercise a little more, reduce their serving size and eat some more vegetables. Guzzling expensive "health" products for a week is just as effective as buying a bowflex, working out all day for a week, then putting in the basement and forgetting about it.
57
@56: Right, it's like the people who take megadoses of supplements only to buy themselves very expensive urine.
58
As with most scams, when the gimmick fails, it is always the user's fault, because they were not "good enough" or were "too addicted" to using their teeth for more than Instagram posts.
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