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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Breaking News Seattle Police Chief's Mustache, Missing?

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Wed, Feb 27, 2013 at 8:55 AM

City of Seattle
How it used to be.

Tips are flooding in to The Stranger newsroom that the mustache of Seattle Police Chief John Diaz—a long-time, faithful companion of the police chief himself—has gone missing.

It's unclear at this point whether the separation was amicable or the result of a robbery or freak shearing accident. All we can say with certainty is that today is a bleak day for Diaz's vulnerable upper lip and mustache riders throughout our fair city.

I'll update this story as soon as we know more.

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Comments (10) RSS

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The copstache is gone? I think this calls for a binding poll on, being a good Seattle-related denizen, which hipster mustache should be permanently photoshopped onto him for all appearances going forward in Slog.

Posted by Joe Szilagyi

on February 27, 2013 at 9:06 AM

Hope it signals the end of "community policing" so the Crackdown can begin.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on February 27, 2013 at 9:08 AM

Oh my gosh, The Strangers, there is so much bad stuff going on all the time and THIS is the story you guys are reporting on!!!!!!! GEESH get your PRIORITIES straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And do some REAL news..................................

Posted by Zebes

on February 27, 2013 at 9:28 AM

Perhaps in response to this.

Posted by care bear on February 27, 2013 at 9:29 AM

Shearing, not sheering, which sounds like something you'd make drape liners out of.

Posted by Fnarf

on February 27, 2013 at 9:36 AM

This is important stuff Cienna. Keep reporting for sure. Reeeeeeealy, important.

Posted by GeneStoner on February 27, 2013 at 9:37 AM

Commenting that something is a waste of time is more time being wasted by you! Get a job!

Posted by Foonken2

on February 27, 2013 at 9:56 AM

I appreciate learning that the top cop has lost his facial hair, but I am wondering if the Stranger has turned off their spell check in the last week, or if they're just pulling our collective leg now.

Posted by genevieve on February 27, 2013 at 9:58 AM

@6

Hully gee and shucks buster! I know, right? Text is a finite resource on the internets and the Strangers keep squandering it!

Save some opinion bandwidth for underprivileged, oppressed Christians, you guys!!!!!

Posted by Zebes

on February 27, 2013 at 10:51 AM

@3 Do you actually think that taking two minutes to write an off-the-cuff mustache post "real news" was being ignored?

@5, I'm sorry. Sometimes I fuck up the spelling of things. It's fixed now.

@6, bite me.

Posted by Cienna Madrid on February 27, 2013 at 10:54 AM