Slog

News & Arts

Line Out

Music & the City
at Night

« Some Horse in Ikea's Meatballs | Every Child Deserves a Mother and a… »

Monday, February 25, 2013

News Morning News: The Oscars, An Allegedly Dirty Cardinal, Horsey Meatballs, and A Lonely Bear

Posted by Anna Minard on Mon, Feb 25, 2013 at 8:33 AM

The Oscars: They happened. Michelle Obama announced best picture (which possibly compromised envelope secrecy), Jennifer Lawrence fell down, nobody in sequins likes torture, The Onion called 9-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis a cunt, and all the rest. Here's what we said about the whole thing live in the Slog-hole.

How Might Sequestration Hurt Washington State? Eli's got the info right here. Sequestration is seen by economists as "unavoidable" at this point.

Resigning Is So Hot for Catholic Leaders Right Now: The UK's most senior Roman Catholic cleric (and Stonewall's "Bigot of the Year" last year), Cardinal Keith O'Brien, steps down amid accusations of "inappropriate acts." From the Observer:

One of the complainants, it is understood, alleges that the cardinal developed an inappropriate relationship with him, resulting in a need for long-term psychological counselling.

Washington State's Charter School Commission: People are applying to sit on it.

Those Delicious Cheapo IKEA Meatballs? The next to fall in the horse-meat scandal. "Authorities are finding out that tracing the origins of the horse-meat scandal is a bit like playing Whac-A-Mole."

Listing Barge Loses Cars: In Tacoma.

Higher Education in Washington State: It's like an episode of Extreme Couponing with more argyle, reports the Seattle Times. "Some strategies come with trade-offs. Finishing a bachelor’s degree in fewer than four years means less time spent absorbing the rich intellectual environment of a college campus."

Switzerland's Only Bear: Killed by rangers.

South Korea's First Female President: Inaugurated today.

Worst Headlines of the Morning Come from New York: "NYC Man Arrested in Meat Cleaver Attack on Wife" and "NYC Policeman's Cannibal-Plot Trial Set to Start." JEEZ.

Damn you, Michael Bay, you can never take this away from us:

FacebookShare

Comments (21) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

A cardinal a week! How many cardinals are there before we run out?

Posted by Purocuyu

on February 25, 2013 at 8:43 AM

The Onion fucking killed it. I laughed coffee out my nose. And the whole Catholic Church should just resign and turn the Vatican into a casino and bath house.

Posted by Pope Peabrain on February 25, 2013 at 8:52 AM

Mmmm....horse.

Posted by Confluence on February 25, 2013 at 9:18 AM

What the fuck is wrong with these damn game wardens?

Posted by seatackled on February 25, 2013 at 9:28 AM

If you get a horse steak, does it need to be tenderized or would that just be beating... oh, nevermind.

Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 25, 2013 at 10:06 AM

The real score on Obama and his sequestration:

http://neweconomicperspectives.org/2013/…

When Anna says "economists" perhaps she's referring to Martin Feldstein? ? ? ?

On the plus side, sweet Anna has the vid of the greatest martial arts team/rap of all time, the TMNT. Bravo! ! ! !

From the Fraud File

http://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/news/83…

http://oceana.org/en/news-media/publicat…

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-02-25…

http://www.zerohedge.com/contributed/201…

Posted by sgt_doom on February 25, 2013 at 10:28 AM

The Onion's point went over everyone's head. But then, what's new?

Posted by sirkowski

on February 25, 2013 at 10:34 AM

The IKEA meatballs sold in the US stores are made by a company in Wisconsin (according to the label on the bag), so no horse for us, hopefully.

Posted by MacBastard on February 25, 2013 at 10:41 AM

Hey sirkowski, why don't you explain what "the point" of calling a 9 year old girl a cunt would be? The CEO of the Onion has issued an apology, (which may be the first time ever), and those involved are being disciplined. And rightly fucking so.

Posted by Lissa on February 25, 2013 at 11:06 AM

@9,

The "point" is that it's outrageous to call a 9-year-old a "cunt". The problem is there are enough misogynistic psychos in this country who DO think it's appropriate to call a 9-year-old a cunt, so therefore the crappy joke fell flat on its face.

Posted by keshmeshi on February 25, 2013 at 11:13 AM

@5 FTW!

Posted by Horse of a different color on February 25, 2013 at 11:13 AM

@10 is correct.

The Onion went way over the line.

I hope they all commit suicide. In public.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on February 25, 2013 at 11:20 AM

@9: Good lord, you got your panties in a knot Gordium would be proud of. The "point" (aside from general iconoclasm) is that the Onion was mocking our culture's venal obsession with and schadenfreude toward celebrity, by directing it at something we see as totally unacceptable. In the past they have also mocked substanceless lite journalism by writing "cute animal" stories about a zookeeper being raped to death by bears... Personally I might have gone with "bitch" instead of "cunt" - safer word with the same effect.

Posted by zivilisierter Wurm

on February 25, 2013 at 11:37 AM

10, I'm glad someone stepped up to the plate: I always feel stupid trying to explain satire to adults.

The joke was directed at Hollywood, the fashion industry, and the audience itself, people who elevate children to stardom and then trash them at the same time. Satire is used to point out the horrible practices we do w/o noticing it. It's been my experience that those who get most offended by satire are those most likely to perpetrate the disgusting behavior the joke is satirizing.

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on February 25, 2013 at 11:38 AM

Perhaps they meant "cunt" in the British sense of the word.

Posted by Senor Guy on February 25, 2013 at 11:38 AM

@14 I thought it was funny because there are so many trolls calling people so many gross things for every occasion. Event trolling. Like during the election when trolls were caught being racist. And the absurdity of calling a cute kid such a thing. Shock value. But you make an even better point. Still, I think it's hilarious.

Posted by Pope Peabrain on February 25, 2013 at 11:47 AM

@14,

You think Lissa tends to call children "cunts"?

To be clear, I wasn't defending the Onion. I understand what that individual was *trying* to do, but I also think it failed. Badly enough that I hope that idiot got fired.

Posted by keshmeshi on February 25, 2013 at 11:50 AM

The "Eli's got the info right here" link points right back here at the Slog front page.

Posted by litlnemo

on February 25, 2013 at 12:24 PM

@14: I understand satire. What I love about it is its use to speak truth to power. To punch up, not down. That the Onion employee who made that tweet may have thought that was what they were doing,( taking a swing at celebrity culture) is entirely plausible.
But.
They failed.
Because calling a 9 year old girl a cunt? Punching down. Bad satire.
But hey! Why don't you explain to her why it was ok to call her that.

Posted by Lissa on February 25, 2013 at 2:05 PM

If they made a movie of TMNT that was more like the comic book, I might be interested. Sadly, Michael Bay is bereft of any artistic capability, so it won't be anywhere near that good. If it's possible to make something worse than that abortion from 2007, Michael Bay will find a way.

Posted by Knat on February 25, 2013 at 2:16 PM