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Monday, February 25, 2013

Michelle Malkin Hits Rock Bottom

Posted by on Mon, Feb 25, 2013 at 3:09 PM

Oh, God. Oh, my God, no.


(Via the good people of Wonkette, and in response to this.)

 

Comments (63) RSS

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Karlheinz Arschbomber 1
Olympic gold medal in Douchebaggery.
Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arschbombe on February 25, 2013 at 3:19 PM · Report this
Dr_Awesome 2
Progressives get comedy. Conservatives don't. Made achingly evident every time they try.
Posted by Dr_Awesome on February 25, 2013 at 3:19 PM · Report this
3
I wonder who thought that was a good idea?

Is that actually Malkin in the video? Did she know that was an impersonator doing Ms. Obama on Fallon's show and not the real one?

What the fuck is wrong with these people?
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 25, 2013 at 3:21 PM · Report this
4
My favorite dance move on display here was the "desperate-for-attention-hack" which she is doing throughout.
Posted by Proteus on February 25, 2013 at 3:27 PM · Report this
5
Why did you post this? I have now added a view to that stupid video, and it was not even terrible enough to entertain me.
Posted by give me pom on February 25, 2013 at 3:32 PM · Report this
6
Eh, I'd still hit it.
Posted by Keenan C on February 25, 2013 at 3:38 PM · Report this
7
At least she's staying current, what with the Menendez reference and all. Were the Menendez brothers known for being particularly liberal?

....and people say white folks can't dance....
Posted by catsnbanjos on February 25, 2013 at 3:38 PM · Report this
reverend dr dj riz 8
@3..everything i'm reading says that that was the real first lady with fallon and not an impersonator.
....but still..
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on February 25, 2013 at 3:41 PM · Report this
9
@7 I think she was trying to reference the Robert Menendez "scandal", wherein he received free flights on a private jet owned by blah blah...
Posted by dirge on February 25, 2013 at 3:49 PM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 10

Given the total hypocrisy of the Onion's use of the "c word" (even if for comedic purposes) in conjunction with a child, I don't think any lib should show her face today.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on February 25, 2013 at 3:49 PM · Report this
11
Somebody is pointing the finger of blame all right.
Posted by Clayton on February 25, 2013 at 3:50 PM · Report this
djh 12
She looks like she is trying really hard not to just start twerking it. Those conservative chicks like to make it pop.
Posted by djh on February 25, 2013 at 3:50 PM · Report this
Pick1 13
I liked that part at around 1:37, when it was over.
Posted by Pick1 on February 25, 2013 at 3:50 PM · Report this
14
Actually, I quite liked it (with the sound off). Kinda like Michelle's little sister practicing for her prom.
Posted by tshicks on February 25, 2013 at 3:51 PM · Report this
venomlash 15
@10: Go away, you cunt.
Posted by venomlash on February 25, 2013 at 3:52 PM · Report this
Hawke 16
@10 The Onion apologized, which is a first, I think. Also, Malkin is a total cunt.
Posted by Hawke http://facebook.com/thehawke on February 25, 2013 at 3:54 PM · Report this
17
#2 for the win.

Posted by westello on February 25, 2013 at 3:55 PM · Report this
johnnie 18
If I didn't know better I'd say her facial expressions were borderline racist.
Posted by johnnie on February 25, 2013 at 3:56 PM · Report this
DavidG 19
Yep, more proof the only things conservatives think is funny are things they think will piss off liberals.
Posted by DavidG http://portableshrines.com on February 25, 2013 at 3:59 PM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 20
This is my own personal blog.

Can they be any dumber?

I go to the new Sushi Place at Kent Station...they have a 3 for $20 roll special.

I get a table...this time I don't have to sit at the bar which suits me better. I place my order and get ready to enjoy my lunch. Then someone turns on the radio...it's KZOK 102.5 Classic Rock.

Great, perfect...but wait. The station isn't coming in well. It skips and has static. So it will play 5 seconds of ZZTop, then cut out for 3 seconds, and then have static and cut back in again. It's really loud and noticeable.

But guess what...everyone else is completely oblivious to it all. I figure, this is so bad, someone will adjust the tuner. Nope. Goes on and on. Finally when the wait comes back, I joke, "hey I guess you need a new antenna". He stares blankly. Judging by his age that antennas are as relavent to him as a hand crank on a car, I add "because the music is cutting in and out". He stares, and the laughs heartily like a man who will laugh to get his tip no matter the humor!

I have my food and I try to grin and bear it...but after 20 minutes I start gulping down my rolls and drink and hurry out of there.

As I leave, the equally dim witted hostess at the door asks "Did you enjoy it?"

I replied, in the same staccato pattern as the radio, "Yes......it...tit...tit.......was....
ver.....great....I.....come.....
in.....again."


https://www.facebook.com/john.bailo/post…
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on February 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM · Report this
matt 21
Much like conservatives prefer the bubble based phony news of Fox, I suspect they eat shit like this up.
Posted by matt on February 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM · Report this
22
@3: Uh, that was the real Michelle Obama on Fallon.
Posted by bigyaz on February 25, 2013 at 4:01 PM · Report this
seandr 23
Oh come on, you people have no sense of humor.

You see, what Michelle did here was to imagine liberal themes as a dance. Like, if raising the debt ceiling was a dance, you'd kind of lift your arms up like you're raising the ceiling, right? And that's really clever and funny! Cause it's like a dance version of liberal themes!
Posted by seandr on February 25, 2013 at 4:16 PM · Report this
Doctor Memory 24
@10: you mean the twitter post that pretty much the entire left blogosphere spent the last 18 hours pillorying the Onion for, culminating in a full apology from their CEO who apparently woke up to realize he'd just completely cheezed off nearly his entire core customer base?
Posted by Doctor Memory http://blahg.blank.org on February 25, 2013 at 4:17 PM · Report this
25
The Menendez bit refers to Sen. Menendez (D-NJ), accused of flying somewhere and consorting with prostitutes with some major donor.

As for the rest of it, it's a long way from bottom for whatshername, or for political "humor" in general.
Posted by RonK, Seattle on February 25, 2013 at 4:18 PM · Report this
26
@21 They sure do. They love it. Just look at the comments on youtube. As much as I despise them, the comments that really irk me are the ones saying horrible things about the FLOTUS/President/liberals. The comments loving this stupid video don't bother me as much.
Posted by Herbert on February 25, 2013 at 4:20 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 27
Meh.

They're sore losers - what else is new?

They've been throwing childish temper tantrums like this for the last 5 years.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM · Report this
Gurldoggie 28
It's awful, but it's nowhere near the bottom of what this fiend is capable of. Sure her dancing stinks, but it's when she's talking, writing, or "opining" in her awful sub-literate whine that she scrapes the lowest rungs of human endeavor.
Posted by Gurldoggie http://gurldogg.blogspot.com on February 25, 2013 at 4:26 PM · Report this
sperifera 29
Wow. I would have thought that she had handlers that would have, you know... told her NO!
Posted by sperifera on February 25, 2013 at 4:36 PM · Report this
COMTE 30
Well, at least you can say this for Ms Malkin: She dances better than she writes...
Posted by COMTE on February 25, 2013 at 4:36 PM · Report this
31
@20: ?????
Posted by bigyaz on February 25, 2013 at 4:38 PM · Report this
32
Michelle who?
Posted by anon1256 on February 25, 2013 at 5:13 PM · Report this
curtisp 33
Holy shit! That was more akward than her biggest fan on a date with an actual woman.
Posted by curtisp on February 25, 2013 at 5:16 PM · Report this
34
Oh my god, that was hilarious. I have no idea who that is. I vote dem, btw. I love the Obamas. Michelle Obama is by far the coolest person to ever step foot into the white house. But I still think that was hilarious. I like dumb jokes though. The Prius out of battery was really funny, since they use a gasoline generator. Is she making fun of liberals? Or is she a mocking conservatives? Since I do not know her, I cannot tell.
Posted by scratchmaster joe on February 25, 2013 at 5:16 PM · Report this
blip 35
I'm kind of obsessed with Michelle Malkin and I assure you she has sunk *way* lower than this. She once stalked a family with a sick child to prove they didn't deserve government assistance. She also wrote a book in defense of internment. This is a painfully unfunny self-parody of what conservatives think about liberals, but it ain't rock bottom by a long shot.
Posted by blip on February 25, 2013 at 5:23 PM · Report this
Posted by blip on February 25, 2013 at 5:26 PM · Report this
Simone 37
I'd watch it if only I could watch it without any sound and text. But I'm not going to because that would give it a view hit or whatever the hip tech internet people call it.
Posted by Simone on February 25, 2013 at 5:28 PM · Report this
Posted by blip on February 25, 2013 at 5:30 PM · Report this
39
What in the fuck is @20 babbling about?
Posted by gdcv on February 25, 2013 at 5:51 PM · Report this
curtisp 40
#39 some sort of personal blog...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Posted by curtisp on February 25, 2013 at 6:13 PM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 41
@20, if that's on your own personal blog let's keep there. Okay?
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on February 25, 2013 at 6:18 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 42
@ 41, where's your avatar?
Posted by Matt from Denver on February 25, 2013 at 6:19 PM · Report this
43
Err. Why is this called the Evolution of Liberal Dance? It looks exactly like the Evolution of Conservative Dance.
Posted by randoma on February 25, 2013 at 6:30 PM · Report this
44
One minute and forty three seconds of my life that I'll never get back.
Posted by bernie on February 25, 2013 at 8:36 PM · Report this
45
@8, @22 You could be right, and she does look like Michelle Obama, but I'd like to point out the real Michelle Obama is 5' 11" and the woman she's dancing next to appears to be 2 inches taller than her. Also, she appears to be wearing a wig. And, she looks younger than Michelle, with a little less angularity to her face.

Now, it's entirely possible that the other woman is 6' 1", that the lighting is very flattering, and that Michelle was wearing a wig.

In which case, I apologize for suggesting otherwise.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 25, 2013 at 9:14 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 46
@42,
It looks like a borg cat in front of a borg ship.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 25, 2013 at 9:32 PM · Report this
47
@45 - the "woman she's dancing next to" is a man - Jimmy Fallon...
Posted by Tawnos on February 25, 2013 at 9:36 PM · Report this
Pick1 48
@45 I'm beginning to believe you have Prosopagnosia. You might want to check that out.
Posted by Pick1 on February 25, 2013 at 9:39 PM · Report this
49
@45: Wow, you really are clueless. That's Jimmy Fallon in drag.
Posted by bigyaz on February 25, 2013 at 10:07 PM · Report this
TreGibbs 50
Poor Michelle Malkin. The pissed off Pekingese is trying to be funny...
Posted by TreGibbs on February 25, 2013 at 10:07 PM · Report this
Claypatch 51
Ok, I am confused. Has, at any time, Michele Malkin contributed anything useful to our culture? Or has she spent her time as an adult screeching, in print, the most vacuous of screeds, all fulminating at "Liberals"?

And, @20: Wow. I didnt think it possible, but your blog is even more boring than your pathetic attempts at trolling on these boards.
Posted by Claypatch on February 25, 2013 at 10:28 PM · Report this
Bemusedchicken 52
full of it as usual.
Posted by Bemusedchicken on February 25, 2013 at 11:48 PM · Report this
I Fucked Your Dad 53
She proves again that a body can function without a working brain or no brain at all, really.
Posted by I Fucked Your Dad on February 26, 2013 at 2:12 AM · Report this
54
@48, @49 Ooops. So it is. And, so she is.

Confession time: I don't watch Fallon much, and I've never seen his drag shtick. I only saw this routine in the embedded Youtube window where...

No excuses, I fucked up. Yes, I was clueless. Can you accept an apology?
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 26, 2013 at 2:32 AM · Report this
55
@54 Sigh... And on top of the cluelessness, I just fucked up the numbers. That was intended to be directed to @47 and @48.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 26, 2013 at 2:34 AM · Report this
Rob in Baltimore 56
To her credit, she's playing to her fans. Like Clint Eastwood's bit at the Republican convention, I'm sure that killed with her target audience.
Posted by Rob in Baltimore http://www.wishbookweb.com/ on February 26, 2013 at 5:51 AM · Report this
watchout5 57
Her fans care more about her ASSets so the content is never relevant.
Posted by watchout5 http://www.overclockeddrama.com on February 26, 2013 at 6:11 AM · Report this
Pick1 58
@55 I wasn't trying to be a jerk, prosopagnosia is actually more common than we think, and just from the comments (identifying people on their height, their voice, or their hair style rather than recognizing pretty significant facial features like the "woman" having a beard) are all pretty big flags.

Most people that have prosopagnosia don't even realize they do because they've created ways to cope.
Posted by Pick1 on February 26, 2013 at 8:45 AM · Report this
59
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Posted by clashfan on February 26, 2013 at 9:11 AM · Report this
60
@58 Even without prosopagnosia, expectation plays a large part in what we see. Having never seen Fallon do drag, and watching the shtick in a 300 pixel embedded window, with a 30-pixel-high face, all I saw was someone playing an shlumpily-dressed, unattractive, slightly discoordinated woman in a bad blond wig. I didn't expect it to be Fallon, and he really had the motion down, which added to the misdirection. Then, when Michelle O showed up, the tallest First Lady of all time, and was shorter than Fallon, I was well up the wrong creek without a paddle.

Again, sorry.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 26, 2013 at 10:14 AM · Report this
lolorhone 61
Anybody remember when those church folks protested "Papa Don't Preach" for its stance on a woman's right to choose (either option). It was called "Madonna Don't Preach" and featured rhythm-free pastors and choir members lip-synching and performing an utterly sexless version of the actual choreography of the video. This has the very same desperate-to-be-current vibe. But arch-conservatives can never pull this off; they are by definition behind the times. Sad. Hilariously lame and sad.
Posted by lolorhone on February 26, 2013 at 9:55 PM · Report this
lolorhone 62
Anybody remember when those church folks protested "Papa Don't Preach" because of its stance on a woman's right to choose (either option, apparently)? It was called "Madonna Don't Preach" and it featured rhythm-free pastors and choir members lip-synching and performing an utterly sexless version of the choreography in the video. This has that same desperate-to-be-current-and-effective vibe. Arch-conservatives can never pull shit like this off; they are by definition behind the times. Sad. Hilariously lame and yet sad.
Posted by lolorhone on February 26, 2013 at 10:03 PM · Report this
lolorhone 63
sorry for the double-post
Posted by lolorhone on February 26, 2013 at 10:04 PM · Report this

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