Slog
News & ArtsSunday, February 24, 2013
Booze / Film / Fashion The Oscars Are Happening in Our Slog-Hole
Posted by Paul Constant on Sun, Feb 24, 2013 at 4:30 PM
Yes, it's time for the ten billionth Academy Awards, with your host The-Family Guy-Guy, a tribute to James Bond, and a whole bunch of awkward speeches by very pretty people in formalwear. Sloggers David Schmader, Christopher Frizzelle, Megan Seling, Dominic Holden, Goldy, and myself will be live-tweeting the Oscars as they happen. Dan Savage is currently either in Los Angeles or on a plane and will be trying to avoid anything Oscar-related, so he'll be in the Twitter-box below, too, because why not?
Tweets from @strangerslog/slog-live-the-musical-2
If you tweet, tweet at us! If you do not tweet, please use the comments! (Stranger staffers will also be leaving all the thoughts that don't fit in 140 characters or less down there, too.) It is all so exciting we can hardly stand it!
107
@101 - Innoncents are dying and you're posting comments in the Interwebs? You should be ashamed of yourself.
106
@2: "secret cabal of media moguls "
Geez, next vagina boy will be prattling on about the Masons????
Geez, next vagina boy will be prattling on about the Masons????
105
@2, Knat balls,
"Also, git off my lawn!" --- Don't you mean, "vagina patch"?
Also, in case you missed my response to your last infantile comments:
@Knat balls You want to meet me in a secluded alleyway late some night, just you and me, vagina boy?
Once again, you are required to refrain from repeating that tedious phrase you halfwitted twits and talking twats use when you can't respond factually, "conspiracy theory" --- first appearing in CIA Document 1035-960, published in 1964 in response to the shitstorm of criticism provoked by similar halfwitted twits on the Warren Commission. (From a FOIA request by the NY Times in 1976, and detailed in Lance deHaven-Smith's book, Conspiracy Theory in America, and we all know that Knat testicles can't read an entire book, now don't we).
"Also, git off my lawn!" --- Don't you mean, "vagina patch"?
Also, in case you missed my response to your last infantile comments:
@Knat balls You want to meet me in a secluded alleyway late some night, just you and me, vagina boy?
Once again, you are required to refrain from repeating that tedious phrase you halfwitted twits and talking twats use when you can't respond factually, "conspiracy theory" --- first appearing in CIA Document 1035-960, published in 1964 in response to the shitstorm of criticism provoked by similar halfwitted twits on the Warren Commission. (From a FOIA request by the NY Times in 1976, and detailed in Lance deHaven-Smith's book, Conspiracy Theory in America, and we all know that Knat testicles can't read an entire book, now don't we).
102
And yes, I just realized the irony of adding to the comments.
How about 100 comments on McCutcheon v FEC; all you self-centered, narcissistic, fucking assholes? No, you'd rather talk about what 'the stars' are wearing...
How about 100 comments on McCutcheon v FEC; all you self-centered, narcissistic, fucking assholes? No, you'd rather talk about what 'the stars' are wearing...
101
Over 100 comments on the FUCKING ACADEMY AWARDS? FUCK THE FUCK OFF, ALL YOU DISPOSSESSED, ZOMBIE, HIPSTER, FUCKING DOUCHE BAGS.
100
Was there an actual awards ceremony? I turned it off after 20 minutes of Seth MacFarlane masturbating and telling misogynistic and near-racist non-jokes. Yawn.
99
Jack Black turned in the best acting performance last year. Sounds insane but if you saw it think about how he absolutely channeled Bernie Tiede. The movie completely pivoted on Black's performance and he nailed it. Linklater is a great director too, and the film was very interesting in how it hybridized acting with documentary testimonial. Wouldn't call in a snub, just a type of film that doesn't show up on the academy's radar.
98
At least James Franco was terrible. He was 10000000x more interesting by being horrible than Seth was by being thoroughly mediocre. Seth was purely boring, and there's nothing worse than being a boring host.
93
Minus one million points to the Academy, for including all manner of executives and publicists and car parkers and whatever the fuck on the death reel, but leaving off the immortal HAL DAVID, who wrote about a hundred top movie songs including the Oscar-winner "Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head", "Alfie", "The Look of Love" (from "Casino Royale"), "What's New Pussycat?". He died in September.
Fuck the Academy.
Fuck the Academy.
92
1. MacFarlane wasn't the worst host ever (sadly, that must go to James Franco, much as I love him otherwise), but he was a long way from good. Please ask Hugh Jackman to host next year. Or anybody with an ounce of talent.
2. Loved Adele's acceptance speech. Also, Daniel Day-Lewis. Terantino looked drunk (but he always looks sorta drunk, so who knows).
3. I love Michelle Obama, but the live feed was a bit weird.
4. The closing number was cringe-worthy. Just painful. MacFarlane should be banned forever on the basis of that alone. A particularly dickish way to insult all the nominees that didn't win.
2. Loved Adele's acceptance speech. Also, Daniel Day-Lewis. Terantino looked drunk (but he always looks sorta drunk, so who knows).
3. I love Michelle Obama, but the live feed was a bit weird.
4. The closing number was cringe-worthy. Just painful. MacFarlane should be banned forever on the basis of that alone. A particularly dickish way to insult all the nominees that didn't win.
91
He wasn't THAT bad. Not good by any means, but not as bad as Franco, not by a long shot. His jokes didn't all work, but at least he was chuckin' 'em in there. Franco was a friggin' zombie. And another Billy Crystal show is just too painful to think about. Remember, it's the ludicrously pompous and self-impressed Oscars we're talking about; Tina Fey and Amy Poehler would never be allowed within a mile of them, let alone Ricky Gervais. It's a no-win situation.
My pick for next year is Liam Neeson, standing stock still and haranguing the audience with his stand-up material that he worked on with Ricky on "Life's Too Short". Totally grim, totally deadpan, totally uncomfortable. That's the show I want to see. I want to see actors in tears. I want to see people walk out.
My pick for next year is Liam Neeson, standing stock still and haranguing the audience with his stand-up material that he worked on with Ricky on "Life's Too Short". Totally grim, totally deadpan, totally uncomfortable. That's the show I want to see. I want to see actors in tears. I want to see people walk out.
87
Paul I am a fan yes but I'm not the only one praising him go look for yourself. but I guess the hipsters will never be happy,
84
Seth McFarlane Oscar host for life, or another couple shows. Great job. Why is this the only site that seems to not like him.
83
Holy shit. Holy shit that was awful. Holy fucking shit that was awful. Everything about that was awful except for Daniel Day-Lewis, Jennifer Lawrence, Adele, and Christoph Waltz.
79
I would not have guessed Ben Affleck would win another oscar ahead of Matt Damon.
Not that I thought either of them would ever win another oscar ever again
Not that I thought either of them would ever win another oscar ever again
67
@59: I'd pay to see Tina Fey and Amy Poehler bullrush the stage and tackle that misogynist asshole.
66
Also Lindy West mentioning Troop Beverly Hill, the best movie ever?, is why she is one of my favorites. #lindy4oscarshost
64
Been lurking all night fnarf -- watching the glory. Finally felt moved to post after the rage a disgust hit boiling point.
63
Jesus Christ, Russell Crowe is a godawful singer. This medley is appalling. I'm feeling ill. Gimme 100 cc of Catherine Deneuve, stat.
61
I thought Jessica Chastain's flesh-colored (puce? mauve? copper?) dress was better.
OK, I'm about an hour behind y'all, and I just saw Travolta's hair. Wut.
OK, I'm about an hour behind y'all, and I just saw Travolta's hair. Wut.
59
This oscars is so confusing and terrible. The only thing it's done is make me want to watch Dream Girls and punch MacFarlane's face.
57
The Oscar writers said "let's do a show with a tribute to musicals", but everyone in the room was only twenty years old and so all they could think of was Chicago. Be grateful they were too young to remember Romeo + Juliet.
55
The scene where Matt Helm's round bed tilts up and slides him into the pool for a morning dip, followed by the round things that rise up out of the floor covered with towelling, that spin so he can dry off against them, blow away anything Bond ever dreamt of.
54
No, wait -- the best Bond film is "The Silencers" with Dean Martin. Second is "Our Man Flint" with James Coburn.
50
Jennifer Lawrence is wearing a wedding dress. Sorry. Can't wait for Tom and Lorenzo to tear these apart.
46
Mrs. Fnarf is home, so we've switched over to "Live From The Red Carpet" on the DVR. Are we missing anything?
45
Some "unattractive" winner needs to say during their speech "Quick aside: I start to strip whenever I hear the Jaws theme."
43
@42, I know what you meant. I also know what I meant. He's awful. Franco was probably worse. That's not a compliment.
38
Solution: Someone commandeer the orchestra and play the entire JAWS soundtrack until Seth gives up and lets someone else host.
23
Some guys look great in these new super-slim suits and tuxes. Seth McFarlane is not one of those guys. He's got turkeyleg.
22
Kind of a sausagefest so far. Too bad there aren't any women in Hollywood. I guess they're all out somewhere showing off their boobs.
21
I don't get the gimmick of "sung live" about Les Miz. It's not live; it's a movie. They could have manipulated it to hell and gone and the audience wouldn't know. It's not better for it; it's not better music, either. It's not even close to the best singing in a movie, "live" or not.
20
@ 2, I don't give a crap for the Oscars, either. I haven't since I was a kid. But lots and lots of people do, including lots of regular Slog readers. Let them have their fun. (Slog used to liveblog the Super Bowl, too...)
19
I have no idea how people are going to write about this thing tomorrow. I don't think it was a disaster, any more than the other recent Oscar shows, but I do think it was too self-referential to be very good. Also: Not funny.
13
Coveritlive was fun. Since that's not happening, with no community flavor this thing can't compete with the people who actually are blowing it up on Twitter. Have fun though! Maybe it'll be profile-raising, or something.
11
@1 and @3: Sorry it's not for you. When CoverItLive moved too fast, people stopped reading. When we moderated CoverItLive comments, people got upset if their comments didn't show up in the feed and stopped reading.
So what I'm saying here is that no solution is perfect for live-Slogging. People come away unhappy no matter what we choose to do. That's just the nature of running a blog. As it is, Twitter is the easiest solution we've encountered, more people can participate when we use Twitter, and the comments are open for conversation and for things we have to say that don't fit in the Twitter-box. I hope you know we're not doing this to annoy you; we're just trying to figure this stuff out as we go along.
So what I'm saying here is that no solution is perfect for live-Slogging. People come away unhappy no matter what we choose to do. That's just the nature of running a blog. As it is, Twitter is the easiest solution we've encountered, more people can participate when we use Twitter, and the comments are open for conversation and for things we have to say that don't fit in the Twitter-box. I hope you know we're not doing this to annoy you; we're just trying to figure this stuff out as we go along.
9
Temptation: To tweet/post on facebook, "Wow, (name of Oscar winner) just gave an inspiring Coming Out speech..." after each award.
7
Westboro Baptist Church's Oscar protest just named the next big capitol hill band: Militant Fag Agenda
6
I only have one horse in this race. I hope Wreck-It-Ralph wins the Animated Film Oscar. I loved that film.
Oh wait. I guess I also hope Zero Dark Thirty wins nothing. Fuck those torture justifiers.
Oh wait. I guess I also hope Zero Dark Thirty wins nothing. Fuck those torture justifiers.
4
I'm done. The ten or so tweets I read remind me of how I never want to sound. But perhaps I've already been assimilated. Please God, deliver me. I'll even go to Palm Sunday mass this year.
2
I thought you guys didn't buy into the Academy Awards hype. Is it that the Oscars are too big a cultural event that you guys feel you can't not cover it live?
Personally, a mention of the major awards won later in the evening or even the next day is plenty. Watching several hours of sometimes beautiful and sometimes talented people weep over some secret cabal of media moguls recognizing their work doing the most coveted and overpaid job in the world is not my idea of a good time.
Also, git off my lawn!
Personally, a mention of the major awards won later in the evening or even the next day is plenty. Watching several hours of sometimes beautiful and sometimes talented people weep over some secret cabal of media moguls recognizing their work doing the most coveted and overpaid job in the world is not my idea of a good time.
Also, git off my lawn!
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