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Thursday, February 21, 2013

This Story Has Slog Written All Over It

Posted by on Thu, Feb 21, 2013 at 3:14 PM

The headline's really all you need to read:

Vegas Woman Arrested For Sex With Pit Bull

But who can stop at the headline?

In an arrest report released Wednesday, police said they were called to a home in the 300 block of N. 16th Street, where 23-year-old Kara Vandereyk was engaging in sexual acts with the animal in full view of neighbors. Police said the woman stood-up and greeted officers with a "Hi". Vandereyk appeared to be under the influence of drugs or was mentally ill, according to the report.... Vandereyk is charged with open and gross lewdness.

It a perfect world Vegas Woman would the archenemy of Florida Man.


Comments (38) RSS

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STS 38
@10: A resident of Las Vegas is actually a Las Vegan. Hope that helps :)

Honestly, it's 16th street- that's No Man's Land.
Posted by STS on February 22, 2013 at 1:27 AM · Report this
Animal 37
Crystal Methamphetamine.
Posted by Animal on February 22, 2013 at 12:44 AM · Report this
Can your pussy do the dog?
Posted by Lux Interior on February 21, 2013 at 8:27 PM · Report this
This is how I think of every person who is unreasonably into dogs.
Posted by poop touchers on February 21, 2013 at 6:51 PM · Report this
beatgrl 34
I thought the story about Ira's dog had Slog written all over it but I was wrong.
Posted by beatgrl on February 21, 2013 at 6:11 PM · Report this
"Mabel, git da hose! Them twooz is attit agin!"
Posted by kwodell on February 21, 2013 at 5:25 PM · Report this
@26 The male dog has a "bulb" at the base of the penis which swells once inside the female dog, thus "tying" them.

I don't know if this would occur in a male dog/female human situation, but even if that's not the case, I doubt that she'd be pulling Bowser out to greet the police.
Posted by Jared Bascomb on February 21, 2013 at 4:52 PM · Report this
wisepunk 31
Posted by wisepunk on February 21, 2013 at 4:46 PM · Report this
"Hi" is a complete sentence, so in both British and American English, the period goes inside the quotation marks. Bad punctuation is so repulsive.
Posted by DRF on February 21, 2013 at 4:41 PM · Report this
wisepunk 29
@21 I am most certainly not anon to these folks. Half of them are writers, librarians or full time GN's (I'm looking at you, leek). If I don't correct myself I will never hear the end of it. I know better than to piss off the flying monkeys.
Posted by wisepunk on February 21, 2013 at 4:38 PM · Report this
samanthaf63 28
Unless the Vegas lady is related to the old gentleman in Slate's Dear Prudence from today (February 21).

Exceedingly gross and disgusting.
Posted by samanthaf63 on February 21, 2013 at 4:36 PM · Report this
@26, I think that's cats, not dogs. Cats don't ovulate without that barbed stimulation. Dogs ovulate on a whim.
Posted by originalcinner on February 21, 2013 at 4:35 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 26
I know little about the sexual anatomy of a male dog, but I heard once the penis has barbs on it, hence we see two dogs connected at the butt area,walking around, tongues hanging out. Barbed Penis. Is there truth to that?
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on February 21, 2013 at 4:29 PM · Report this
Fnarf 25
This isn't that damn peanut butter story again, is it?
Posted by Fnarf on February 21, 2013 at 4:28 PM · Report this
julie russell 24
And @ 20...I love you!
Posted by julie russell http:// on February 21, 2013 at 4:23 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 23
No, it'll be one of the "How'd that happen??" letters, as in:

"Dear Dan,
I was minding my own business, watching TV and having a cigarette, when I realized someone must have replaced my regular tobacco cigarettes with crystal meth ones. I didn't realize it until it was too late and by then I was passing out. I must have fallen out of my clothes on the way to the ground, and my wonderful dog probably thought I was injured and tried to scoot me to the door. Well, now the neighbors think I'm a meth-addicted dog-fucker. How'd that happen??"
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 21, 2013 at 4:23 PM · Report this
julie russell 22
Ewwwww. Aside from being plain disgusting, that is animal abuse.
Posted by julie russell http:// on February 21, 2013 at 4:20 PM · Report this
12/13 There are few things I get more of a kick out of than people who feel the need to correct grammatical errors in their anonymous comments on blogs. Because really, God forbid someone out there should think "wisepunk" doesn't know the difference between "its" and "it's," right?
Posted by ian on February 21, 2013 at 4:15 PM · Report this
given how pitbulls are treated by the stranger and other media publications, i'm surprised the headline didn't read:

"Pitbull rapes Vegas woman"
Posted by scribbler on February 21, 2013 at 4:14 PM · Report this
Did the pit bull BITE? Cause thats hot
Posted by Randy Beaver on February 21, 2013 at 4:07 PM · Report this
eclexia 18
I hope "Smoking Gun" leaks the arrest report. I'm strangely drawn to know what exactly was going where. I'm guessing she was having the dog go down on her.

I think Savage Love already had a letter confessing "my dog eats my pussy". It was one of the "I don't know how it happened" variety, iirc.
Posted by eclexia on February 21, 2013 at 4:06 PM · Report this
evilvolus 17
@12 - Exactly. "Gross" in a legal context means "super-duper"
Posted by evilvolus on February 21, 2013 at 4:03 PM · Report this
SiSiSodaPop in Vegas 16
Just so everyone is aware: Not every woman from/living in Vegas is fucked up in the head like that.
Posted by SiSiSodaPop in Vegas on February 21, 2013 at 4:02 PM · Report this
Done: @_VegasWoman
Posted by muon1183 on February 21, 2013 at 4:00 PM · Report this
@11, maybe some plastic surgery is also in order here. Maybe move to a distant country that does not have such a prejudice against pit bull love? Great letter! Thanks for the laugh.
Posted by SeattleKim on February 21, 2013 at 3:59 PM · Report this
wisepunk 13
IT'S. goddammit.
Posted by wisepunk on February 21, 2013 at 3:57 PM · Report this
wisepunk 12
What they mean is its lewdness X 144.
Posted by wisepunk on February 21, 2013 at 3:54 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 11
Savage Love letter from the future:

Hi Dan--

I'm a 25-year-old woman. A couple of years ago, I had a bit of a run-in with the law when I was caught having sex with my pit bull. I was NOT in my right mind at the time due to (a psychotic episode/drugs/too much Jagermeister). I've since gotten help and my life together, and I do NOT have an attraction to pit bulls (or any other breed). Unfortunately, since my mug shot and name were plastered all over the local news and the internet, I've had to relocate and change my name in an attempt to live this down.

Here's my question: I've started dating a really nice guy. We're really hitting it off. What's my obligation to disclose, here? I am fully prepared to take this to my grave (even with a long-term partner) but I am TERRIFIED that he might find out. After all, my picture and (former) name are still "out there" connected to this, thanks to the internet.

What should I do?

Regretting Puppy Love
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on February 21, 2013 at 3:51 PM · Report this
Indy 10
What do you call someone from Vegas? Vegasian? Vegander? Vegano? Vegasser?
Posted by Indy on February 21, 2013 at 3:46 PM · Report this
No way. She is Florida Man's love interest (but clearly it is not reciprocated).
Posted by davidcon on February 21, 2013 at 3:44 PM · Report this
@4,7 Gross, as a legal term means "Great; culpable. General. Absolute or entire. A thing in gross exists in its own right, and not as an appendage to another thing."
Posted by I ANAL on February 21, 2013 at 3:43 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 7
One can be gross without being lewd.

And one can certainly be lewd without being gross (though that is a bit subjective, I guess.)

But this is definitely both.
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on February 21, 2013 at 3:40 PM · Report this
@2 double ha!

Maybe we both misread it because we expect Dan to serve us some seriously bizarre shit, and a Vegan Woman With Pit Bull would even more over the top than than a Vegas Woman.

Or maybe I misread it because I once knew a vegan woman who *was* into animals as a sexual fantasy, but I've never had any female friends from Vegas.
Posted by delta35 on February 21, 2013 at 3:37 PM · Report this
--MC 5
"It a perfect world Vegas Woman would the archenemy of Florida Man." My understand, thee story make my brain broken also.
Posted by --MC on February 21, 2013 at 3:36 PM · Report this
Is gross lewdness a thing? I mean a thing other than redundant? Maybe lewd has a sexual tinge while gross is just...gross.
Posted by jnonymous on February 21, 2013 at 3:34 PM · Report this
very bad homo 3
I actually could have stopped at the headline.
Posted by very bad homo on February 21, 2013 at 3:33 PM · Report this
@1: Ha, me too. And when I read your post, I had to look back at the actual headline to see what you were on about. I really like it better as Vegan.
Posted by NateMan on February 21, 2013 at 3:23 PM · Report this
I read this three times as
"Vegan Woman Arrested for Sex With Pit Bull"

Brain turned to mush. Too much SLOG today.
Posted by delta35 on February 21, 2013 at 3:20 PM · Report this

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