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Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Today in Articles I've Been Waiting My Whole Life to Read

Posted by on Wed, Feb 20, 2013 at 12:19 PM

The opening number to the 1989 Oscar ceremony will forever shimmer in infamy, featuring as it did then-hearthrob Rob Lowe and a helium-voiced human Snow White performing "Proud Mary." Here is a tiny sampling the whole amazing thing, found by YouTube sleuth Fnarf:

Now, after 24 years, the poor actress tasked with playing Snow White has opened up about the ordeal in The Hollywood Reporter. You may read 'I Was Rob Lowe's Snow White': The Untold Story of Oscar's Nightmare Opening right here.

(And the 2013 Oscar ceremony goes down this Sunday night.)

 

Comments (24) RSS

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Fnarf 1
But you don't want just a sample, do you? No, you want the whole thing:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ0XGi_L…

(Note that this performance wasn't even the most atrocious thing that happened during the telecast; "Rain Man" won Best Picture". The two years after it was "Driving Miss Daisy" and fucking "Dances With Wolves". The biggest prats in Hollywood are not the ones on that stage during this terrible number.)
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 20, 2013 at 12:28 PM · Report this
Fred Casely 2
In '89 I was a server at San Francisco's fanciest all-night restaurant, in the Fairmont Hotel. Steve Silver (the director of the number) was a regular and was always seated in my section. He came in one night that following week by himself (which was unusual). I told him I saw the Oscars and enjoyed the opening number. He replied with his usual graciousness and thanked me, but his sheepish gaze and raised eyebrow made it clear that he thought nobody enjoyed it.

Care to hear about the time I almost set Mel Brooks on fire in the very same booth?
Posted by Fred Casely on February 20, 2013 at 1:00 PM · Report this
3
i will never forget that...never.
Posted by Adrian Ryan on February 20, 2013 at 1:02 PM · Report this
Fnarf 4
@2, uh, YES.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 20, 2013 at 1:08 PM · Report this
David Schmader 5
Thank you, Fnarf! The "twinkling" done by the poor folks shoved in single-star-shaped walkabouts is tremendous.
Posted by David Schmader on February 20, 2013 at 1:09 PM · Report this
6
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Posted by M. Wells on February 20, 2013 at 1:27 PM · Report this
Fnarf 7
@5, the standard by which all production numbers shall be judged is the percentage of props and costumes that are visibly made of painted or beglittered or foil-covered cardboard.

The only perfect 100% I've ever seen was a British snooker-themed (!) game show (!!) called "Big Break", which made the production values of "The Gong Show" seem like a Busby Berkeley/Steven Spielberg coproduction in comparison. The set visibly wobbled whenever the host or contestants laughed.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 20, 2013 at 1:28 PM · Report this
wisepunk 8
The article was amazing, but I refuse to watch that video.
Posted by wisepunk on February 20, 2013 at 1:39 PM · Report this
Fred Casely 9
@4: He ordered a couple of Sambucas, which the bartender insisted arrive flaming before being extinguished with a light tap on the top of each snifter with a stack of bar napkins. I'd never flamed a drink before, but eveything was going fine until another server bumped me from behind -- which sent burning liqueur sloshing over the rims of the glasses. I tried to extinguish the now-burning tray they were on by beating at it with the stack of napkins, which also ignited.

At that point I excused myself and headed for the kitchen. When I eventually returned with replacements, the look of terror on his face turned to relief and bemusement when he saw they weren't ablaze this time.
Posted by Fred Casely on February 20, 2013 at 1:51 PM · Report this
10
It looks like something you'd see in Disneyland.

And is that Merv Griffin?
Posted by PA Native on February 20, 2013 at 1:57 PM · Report this
ingopixel 11
Such a glorious shitshow.
Posted by ingopixel on February 20, 2013 at 2:22 PM · Report this
12
It probably would be cool to credit Metafilter since both the full YouTube video and the story were there first.

http://www.metafilter.com/125199/Never-t…
Posted by tkc on February 20, 2013 at 2:46 PM · Report this
David Schmader 13
12: I love Metafilter, but it wasn't where I happened to encounter any of this. (Unless that's where Fnarf found the full vid?)
Posted by David Schmader on February 20, 2013 at 3:14 PM · Report this
Dr_Awesome 14
Holy cow. THE TABLES HAD PEOPLE IN THEM!
And what happened at the end? Was that Lowe crawling face-first down the stairs? Why??
Posted by Dr_Awesome on February 20, 2013 at 3:18 PM · Report this
Fnarf 15
@13, it is indeed. Sorry, I shoulda said "Metafilter".

@12, the story was "first" in the Hollywood Reporter article that both David and Metafilter linked to.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 20, 2013 at 3:27 PM · Report this
16
@13 (It is.)
Posted by tkc on February 20, 2013 at 3:31 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 17
Thanks. I had forgotten how hot Rob Lowe was back then... and how bad an actor he was.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 20, 2013 at 4:07 PM · Report this
rob! 18
"IT GETS BETTER. Meet your blind dateā€”Rob Lowe!"

Hahaha. I wish.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on February 20, 2013 at 7:41 PM · Report this
stinkbug 19
I believe this is the moment in which the '80s ended.
Posted by stinkbug on February 20, 2013 at 8:02 PM · Report this
I Fucked Your Dad 20
The timeline in that one article seems off. It says Lowe got into trouble with his video AFTER this shit show. I think the video trouble was BEFORE this shit show and is one of the reasons his performance was creepy as hell.
Posted by I Fucked Your Dad on February 20, 2013 at 8:46 PM · Report this
21
This is the moment the 80s ended! Haha! Oh man that is fucking craptastic.
Posted by Racing Turtles on February 20, 2013 at 9:50 PM · Report this
Andy Niable 22
All that's missing is Divine. Walking her dog.
Posted by Andy Niable on February 21, 2013 at 12:27 AM · Report this
McJulie 23
Whenever 80s entertainment is this grandly and inexplicably awful, there's only one question that comes to mind: how much cocaine was everyone doing?
Posted by McJulie on February 21, 2013 at 7:01 AM · Report this
Big Matt G 24
@23) Looks like they were doing pretty much all of it!
Posted by Big Matt G on February 22, 2013 at 1:45 PM · Report this

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