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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

SL Letter of the Day: Importing a Unicorn

Posted by on Tue, Feb 19, 2013 at 3:44 PM

I am a 23-year-old bi girl in the Midwest. I was talking with a friend from LA the other day—a sexy lady friend, ten years older than me, and did I mention she's sexy?—and her boyfriend wants to have a threesome and she wants me to be their third. She offered to fly me out, put me up, and show me a good time in exchange for hopping into bed. Great. Super hot. That said, I'm nervous about letting them spend money on me because... what if I don't want to fuck around with them once I'm there? I would feel an obligation to get it on. Is this is prostitution? This is new territory for me. Got any ideas for how to help things go smoothly for a horny girl who wants a free vacation and to get laid?

Wanting Happy Orgasms, Realistic Exchange

My response after the jump...


Have you met or talked with the BF? Are you into him too?—Dan

I met him once in passing last summer. We exchanged a few words of small talk. Everything about him seems okay. Okay looks, okay personality... but underwhelming. I can see myself in a no-penetration threesome with this dude because I'm really into his girlfriend and he seems perfectly tolerable. My lady friend and I are both subs and she says he's a great Dom. So that's enticing, honestly. But I don't know.—WHORE

Unicorns—single, available, and willing bisexual women—are so hard to come by/in/on that I feel almost bad about queering the deal. But I wouldn't get on that plane, WHORE.

I don't think you'll be making a huge mistake if you do decide to get on that plane—and getting on that plane doesn't make you a whore. Assuming your friends are offering to put you up at their place and not get you a hotel room, WHORE, they're only gonna be out the cost of a round-trip airline ticket. In restaurants all over North America on any given Saturday night people are treated to meals that cost as much or more than a coach ticket by folks who wanna fuck 'em. (Yes, yes: young people and their hookup culture and their "sups" and like that. But trust me, kids, lots of people still go out on dates. Sometimes even people in their twenties.) It's perfectly acceptable to let someone who who wants to fuck you spend a little money on you—provided, of course, that someone has a reasonable chance of getting in your pants.

We know your friend stands a chance. And it does seem like your friend's BF stands a reasonable chance. He's okay in the looks and personal departments. But he's also a skilled Dom, at least according to your friend, which means he possesses a skill set that might compensate for whatever he lacks in the looks and personality departments. (And who knows? His looks and personality might grow on you if you spend some more time together.) But it's a lot easier to say "no thanks" and "goodbye" after someone takes you out to dinner—it's easier to extricate yourself—than it will be to say "no thanks" when you're staying with your friend and her BF.

And if you fly out, and he gives you a bad vibe, and he doesn't get your sub senses tingling, and you don't want to go through with it... you might wind up going through with it anyway. Even that won't make you a whore, WHORE, but it will definitely leave you feeling crummy after it's over.

Before you make up your mind, WHORE, have a couple of long Skype chats before a plane ticket is purchased and be absolutely explicit about what you're comfortable agreeing to in advance, i.e. a non-penetration threesome (or a threesome in which you're not the one being penetrated), and emphasize to your friend and her BF that you have a right to back out if you're not feeling it and that they have to cheerfully respect your right to back out.

If they're down with all of that, and if you're all able to regard that plane ticket as an expensive dinner date that may or may not lead to something more, then maybe you should go.—Dan


Comments (23) RSS

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Corylea 23
I was in a situation a bit like this one, and it turned out horribly. That doesn't mean that the LW's will, but she should think about all of the possibilities. In my case, the woman got a crush on me, which freaked out her husband, so he had a jealous freak-out and turned on me.

People may THINK they're going to have casual sex, but it's awfully easy for your emotions to get involved, once you're sexing with someone. The LW needs to explore not just what she'll do in the event of various physical outcomes but also what she'll do in the event of various emotional outcomes.
Posted by Corylea on February 21, 2013 at 11:25 AM · Report this
@ 18: I probably shouldn't post when I'm bitter.

And I guess there's some good news in this story - you can be "underwhelming" and *still* get to have a threesome with two sexy bi girls, as long as you're a Dom. And can pay for a plane ticket.
Posted by Chase on February 20, 2013 at 2:58 PM · Report this
Nyckname 21
Have him send you a Postal Money Order and you buy the ticket.

If it's on his card, he can cancel the return trip.
Posted by Nyckname on February 20, 2013 at 11:06 AM · Report this
If LW wants to experience being the 3rd in a MFF 3-some, it seems like she could find a lot of local action. Call me cynical and jaded, but the letter raises some danger flags to me. Boyfriend wants a 3-some, flight, etc. IN EXCHANGE for hopping into bed. There's no one in LA for them to hook up with? How well does she know this friend, who is ten years older? Where/how did they meet?
Posted by Barbara on February 20, 2013 at 9:54 AM · Report this
Antoinette 19
I think you should go! As long as the penetration rules are clear to everyone involved. Remember, they want *you* - so you have some control here. Underwhelming now, but maybe he will surprise you, who knows? You already know you want to play with her, so here's your chance. Rarely is anything ever truly perfect, but I think if you go into it with the right attitude you're sure to have a great time.
And... if it gets weird, so what? You're 23.
Posted by Antoinette on February 20, 2013 at 8:07 AM · Report this
@17: You're right, there is no point trying to protect yourself, either from pain or happiness. Sorry for your bad experiences.
Posted by misspiggy on February 20, 2013 at 3:44 AM · Report this
What difference does it make? They're just going to use each other, lie to each other, and treat each other like shit. Any physical enjoyment derived will be brief and quickly forgotten. That's going to happen whether you stay or go; that's what people do to each other. There's not much point trying to protect yourself from the inevitable.
Posted by Chase on February 20, 2013 at 1:33 AM · Report this
Ballard Pimp 16
My God! Unicorns exist! Call the Interior Dept. for listing as an endangered species!
Posted by Ballard Pimp on February 19, 2013 at 9:49 PM · Report this
This one has a weird feel about it of a modern version of Emma Woodhouse dispensing largesse to Harriet Smith. I'd be much less disinclined if the LW reminded me of Miss Bates instead.
Posted by vennominon on February 19, 2013 at 9:18 PM · Report this
I think the LW should trust her gut. Her gut is telling her that she doesn't know these people. Even the one who is her friend, it's not clear if they've met more than just once last summer, and are really online friends. Her gut is also telling her that it's quid pro quo:
>>She offered to fly me out, put me up, and show me a good time in exchange for hopping into bed.>>

Not: She offered to fly me out, put me up, and show me a good time in hopes that I'll choose to fuck them.
Posted by EricaP on February 19, 2013 at 7:44 PM · Report this
Oops, agony already went there...
Posted by Funky Monkey on February 19, 2013 at 7:33 PM · Report this
Take their plane ticket and pay for your own hotel room. Options and escape hatches are good.
Posted by Funky Monkey on February 19, 2013 at 7:31 PM · Report this
lolorhone 11
One should be specific about what you'll do and sure about what you want before you get in a cab, let alone on a plane.
Posted by lolorhone on February 19, 2013 at 7:09 PM · Report this
@2 She'll be good if she buys a gun once she lands - just in case.
Posted by cracked on February 19, 2013 at 6:36 PM · Report this
Make sure you have enough money to get a hotel room if you need to, just in case the whole thing goes to shit. For the same reason, make sure that's a round ticket, and you've got it on you.

And then go. I took a lot of chances when I was young and hot, and I had a lot of good sex and good times. Secure your exit strategy, and then have some fun.
Posted by agony on February 19, 2013 at 6:34 PM · Report this
@4: "This is as rude as Warren Buffet telling a welfare lottery winner to turn down the money becaue it doesn't always buy happiness."

OK, that made me laugh. Good one.
Posted by MLM on February 19, 2013 at 6:25 PM · Report this
wingedkat 7
It sounds like a lot of pressure. If I had the money to spend, I'd take a chance on flying a sub out for a threesome... If I had the money for two round trips. The first, no pressure to see if it would work, the second for a hot weekend. See if they're up for that.
Posted by wingedkat on February 19, 2013 at 6:00 PM · Report this
seandr 6
Seems to be a market for straight men with Dom skills. Hmmm.
Posted by seandr on February 19, 2013 at 5:42 PM · Report this
tainte 5
oh this one is simple. schedule the trip when you know you'll be having yr period.

Posted by tainte on February 19, 2013 at 5:25 PM · Report this
Tim Horton 4
Dan, you just set back the male gay-straight alliance back a decade. How dare you kill this 30 something guy's chance to dominate a 3 some with a hot bi 20 something girl.

Easy for a gay guy to question the wisdom of a 3-some. This is as rude as Warren Buffet telling a welfare lottery winner to turn down the money becaue it doesn't always buy happiness.
Posted by Tim Horton on February 19, 2013 at 5:23 PM · Report this
Hawke 3
Sorry for taking another unicorn off the market, folks.
Posted by Hawke on February 19, 2013 at 4:50 PM · Report this
TheMisanthrope 2
Being a sub for a dom, and then wanting no penetrative sex...that would most definitely need to be discussed before hand. Otherwise, you may feel guilty about saying no in the middle of a scene, and then this leads to being called a cocktease, or worse it being considered part of the game leading to way more than you wanted.

Communication people. Please.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on February 19, 2013 at 4:20 PM · Report this
Definitely sensible advice especially if you only know one of them "in passing." Would be different if they were local, IMO.
Posted by Scribbles on February 19, 2013 at 4:14 PM · Report this

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