Asteroid hits Earth! No, not the dinosaur-killer scheduled to harmlessly fly by later today, but a smaller one that broke up over the Urals in Russia, reportedly damaging 300 buildings and injuring 900 people, mostly from shattered glass. Video below.

If they think their conditions were disgusting, they should try spending a few days in our newsroom. After days on a hot, stinking, disabled cruise ship, short of food and surrounded by raw sewage, passengers of the Carnival Triumph finally reached port and disembarked. Carnival is offering a full refund and a free cruise as compensation. Yay!

And there's no "Stand Your Ground" law in South Africa. "Blade Runner" Oscar Pistorius reportedly shot his girlfriend four times through a bathroom door. South Africa has one of the highest gun homicide rates in the world, with the killing of women by intimate partners the leading cause of female homicide.

Oh, like those monkeys on treadmills never catch fire. Airbus has announced that it is abandoning plans to use lithium-ion batteries on its new A350-XWB, you know, just in case.

That'll teach 'em to vote Republican. If "sequestration" goes into effect on March 1, about 1,000 Hanford workers will be furloughed for up to six weeks, slowing down cleanup and costing the region's economy millions.

Ha, ha, ha... Hitler!

Springtime for Bezos? A German TV documentary has accused Amazon of allegedly using security guards with neo-Nazi connections to intimidate immigrant workers at its warehouses in Germany.

The fact that they were being sold in six-packs should've been a giveaway. Tiffany & Co. is suing Costco, alleging that the Issaquah-based discounter has been selling counterfeit Tiffany engagement rings in its warehouse stores. I guess "Kirkland" brand diamonds didn't have the same cachet.

Duh-uh. Scientists have discovered that fish who swim in water containing low levels of anti-anxiety drugs have less anxiety.

Not exactly breaking news. Ashton Kutcher admits that some of his movies "fucking suck donkey."

I wear a size 11, ladies. Extra wide. Rock and roll legend Chubby Checker is suing Hewlett Packard over an app that allows women to estimate the size of a man's penis by the size of his shoe. The app, of course, is named "The Chubby Checker."

And finally, footage from Russia Today of the Ural meteorite: