The state of the SOTU is strong. Kicking off his second term, President Barack Obama used his State of the Union Address to put forth an ambitious (and progressive) legislative agenda, including comprehensive immigration reform, responsible gun control, raising the minimum wage, and implementing universal high-quality preschool. Bravo! (Full transcript.)
#DryMouth In delivering the Republican response, Senator Marco Rubio, the GOP's Great Off-White Hope, stepped onto the national stage and then quickly stepped off to get a drink of water, in what will go down in history as "The Sip Heard 'Round the World." Also, taxes bad!
Tax and spend! At a special election yesterday, Seattle voters overwhelmingly approved $1.2 billion worth of operations and capital school levies, with 74 percent and 72 percent of the vote respectively. Now if only we could find a way to support our schools at the state level.
John McCain may filibuster Chuck Hagel. Because John McCain is a dick.
Nobody expected it to end well. A charred body has been found inside the burned cabin where police had a deadly standoff with a man believed to be accused cop-killer Christopher Dorner. Investigators also found Dorner's wallet, and are currently working to definitively identify the remains.
Soylent Green is peoplehorse! The European horse meat scandal widened, after testing revealed that the ground "beef" in supermarket chain Tesco's low-cost lasagna was actually 60 percent horse meat. Plus a little pork. And maybe a touch of phenylbutazone. But don't you worry—a self-regulating free market will handle this.
One hundred percent dog meat. Banana Joe, a 5-year-old Affenpinscher, won the top prize at the Westminster dog show, assuring a steady supply of unwanted monkey-faced dogs at animal shelters throughout the nation for years to come.
No fun. Would-be thieves crashed a van through the front entrance of the Family Fun Center in Tukwila early this morning, but left empty handed after failing to steal an ATM that was bolted to the floor.
Even less fun. Michael Powell, the brother of Josh Powell, who killed himself and his two young sons last year, and was suspected in the disappearance of his wife Susan, committed suicide by jumping from a Minneapolis building. Michael had been a staunch defender of his brother's innocence.
And finally, everyone's favorite moment of the SOTU spectacular, Senator Marc Rubio's product placement ad for Poland Spring water: