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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Savage Love SL Letter of the Day: A Gentle Reminder

Posted by Dan Savage on Wed, Feb 13, 2013 at 5:12 PM

I just wanted you to know that I passed on your advice to "fuck first" to one of my best friends. She got married this past weekend. In a conversation a few weeks before the wedding she expressed some concern about "wedding night" sex. Not that she was a virgin, but she seemed stressed about it. I suggested that she find some time after the rehearsal dinner to make it happen. On the day of the wedding, she confessed that she had taken the advice, and she seemed quite happy about it—and was much more relaxed the whole day of the wedding. Turns out your advice applies to all kinds of situations!

Matron Of Honor

My response after the jump...

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Thanks for sharing, MOH, and while my "fuck first" advice does indeed apply to all sorts of situations (birthdays, weddings, visits to the DMV, and obviously funerals), it was intended for Valentine's Day—which is tomorrow. Remember, folks, fuck before that big romantic V-Day meal because you're going to be too bloated, too drunk, or too gassy to fuck after. Fuck first, then go to out to dinner. If you feel like fucking again when you get home, Yahtzee. If not, no big deal. Curl up in bed and watch House of Cards instead.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

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Comments (23) RSS

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Good advice. Great actually! Although I admit to being disappointed that you didn't post some advice for the sea slug with the disposable penis.

Happy Valentine's Day, Dan and Terry!

Muwah!

Posted by despicable me on February 13, 2013 at 5:32 PM

After watching House of Cards, you can then role play, House Whip and young reporter.

Posted by Tom on February 13, 2013 at 5:45 PM

Thank you for the advice, Dan. Not to fuck first (all your fans know that one by now), but to check out House of Cards. Kevin Spacey in a political drama/thriller? I'm there.

Posted by Knat on February 13, 2013 at 6:03 PM

House of Cards is definitely sexy. "I love that woman the way a shark loves blood." Yea verily.

Posted by chaseacross on February 13, 2013 at 6:38 PM

I took the advice this summer before going to our tribe's pow wow. It helped keep me from hitting on the hot fire carrier, which would have been embarrassing for both of us.

Posted by pastanaut on February 13, 2013 at 6:53 PM

I did Yahtzee that coming.

Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

on February 13, 2013 at 7:25 PM

Yahtzee! Robin Wright is AMAZING to watch in House of Cards. Whenever she's onscreen I am just drinking in her every move.

Posted by gloomy gus on February 13, 2013 at 7:29 PM

I have a tentative idea that Americans should remake British programmes only when they lack an absolutely top-drawer lead. Nothing against Aidan Gillen(Queer as Folk), but Joan Plumleigh Bruce would certainly have him in drawer 2 or 3. But after Robbie Coltrane (Cracker) and Helen Mirren (Prime Suspect), trying a variation on Ian Richardson might not lead to triumph.

Obviously this is far from comprehensive. But, if I were going to try a US version of something British, I think I might go for that juggernaut Midsomer Murders.

Posted by vennominon on February 13, 2013 at 8:34 PM

Fuck Thursday, go out to dinner Friday & avoid the Val Day crowds.

Posted by very bad homo on February 13, 2013 at 9:41 PM

Oh, geez. Now I'm glad I'm working instead of going to Dan's live broadcast at the Neptune. That way I don't have to sit there and think that Dan and Terry fucked first before the show. (I mean, they're a good-looking couple, but I don't want to be thinking about that any more than I would have wanted to have been the LW at the wedding thinking that the bride and groom just fucked before the ceremony.)

Posted by seatackled on February 13, 2013 at 9:53 PM

Or, as the spousal unit and I did, go out the night BEFORE Valentine's Day. Opens up the whole long weekend for carnal activity.

Posted by Catherwood on February 13, 2013 at 9:55 PM

It is great advice, and because I'm surprising Mrs. Hernandez with a large meal delivered by our favorite Indian restaurant and a selection of gourmet ice creams, I fully intend to follow it, because we'll probably be passed out in a food coma by 9:00.

Posted by Hernandez

on February 13, 2013 at 10:02 PM

Yahtzee! Dan's so funny.

Posted by Write or Wrong on February 13, 2013 at 10:06 PM

Never mind fucking before Valentine's day, how about "fucking Valentine's day". What a crock of shit. You want to woo me? (probably not, besides, I'm taken, old and fattish). How about you just cook dinner - pick a date. Or organise a trip, or bring me coffee and croissants in bed in the morning, or hot cocoa with a dash of chocolate liqueur late at night, or a million other small things. Give me flowers and shit on 14th Feb and I'll DTMFA already.

Posted by JJinAus on February 14, 2013 at 12:14 AM

Nothing makes that Special Day even MORE special than some fornication.......

Posted by its how we do it in Gommorah on February 14, 2013 at 6:33 AM

Fucked twice this morning. What a great way to start Valentine's day! Hooray for orgasms.

Posted by Why are there cars? on February 14, 2013 at 7:03 AM

What #14 said

Posted by biju on February 14, 2013 at 7:29 AM

@14,17 There is a lot of right in your argument, but as an old taken fart myself, it's nice to have a few points on the calendar to remind us to take stock and take time.

These days shouldn't be excuses to let slide the rest of the year, but rather celebrations of those little things we do for those we love that tend to fade into the background noise of everyday life.

Posted by sticks and stones may break my bones, but beheading kills me on February 14, 2013 at 8:56 AM

@6, thank you :-)

Posted by EricaP on February 14, 2013 at 9:25 AM

Here's a variant for the marrieds with kids . . . spouse goes out and has a drink/light dinner with work friends while I put the kiddos to bed. Then she comes home horny and uninhibited and jumps my bones. Chocolately dessert in bed, after.

Posted by sophist2 on February 14, 2013 at 10:26 AM

Unless of course you're a [member of a race/country with perceived widespread kinks based on digestive system side-effects]. Then feel free to ignore Dan's advice.

Posted by debug on February 14, 2013 at 12:31 PM

Took your advice Dan! Kiddo took her afternoon nap and allowed for some nice V-day Pre-dinner fun time!! YAY! Great advice.

Posted by Stabs on February 14, 2013 at 4:36 PM

I took your advice one step further, we had dinner in bed. I surprised my lover with a great spread on the dresser, and I explained the inspiration. It was great. We avoided all the crowds and got to eat exactly what we wanted. Hummus is really good on all kinds of things...

Posted by abee on February 27, 2013 at 7:13 PM