SL Letter of the Day: Your Weekly DTMFA Fix
by Dan Savage
on Tue, Feb 12, 2013 at 5:15 PM
I found you through your your show on MTV, Savage U, and I just had a question or two.
1. I don't know what to do about my relationship because my boyfriend seems to want to hang out with only his friends when he gets the spare time. I never see him during the week as is because he's busy with school, work, and his band. (he mostly hangs out with his bandmates who are his best friends). I hate feeling second or even fourth in his life and don't know what to do anymore. He doesn't see this as a problem but I am always really hurt over his choices.
2. I am 19 years old and he is 23. The age thing doesn't bother him as we have been going out almost 2 years now. What bothers me is that he will choose to go to a bar with his friends but since I can't go he doesn't even consider my feelings in that process. Once again I feel as though he doesn't want to be around me because of my age.
3. I seem to always drive to his house and spend time with his family and friends and he never really drives up to see my family. I feel as though I'm constantly giving 200% but he's giving like 70%.
4. Sometimes I'm not in the mood to have sex but somehow I always end up giving into him and having sex with him. He has told me before that I'm "not really into having sex" this isn't true but sometimes I don't want to have sex and since he constantly asks it gets really annoying considering I don't see him often and I don't always want to have sex.
It would mean so much to me if you could help me with these problems. I love him to death, but recently I just haven't been feeling happy. I really look forward to hearing your advice. Thanks again, Dan!
You're being used (sexually) and abused (emotionally), OMG, and that's why you're unhappy. And here's what you're gonna do about it: you're gonna dump this motherfucker even if it means—horrors—being single on Valentine's Day. Because there are worse things than being single on Valentine's Day. Being with a boyfriend like yours, for instance, is worse than being single on Valentine's Day.
And being single this Valentine's Day doesn't mean you'll be single next Valentine's Day. There are 3.5 billion of other men on this planet, OMG, and we keep a couple of spares stored in low Earth orbit at all time. You can do better than an inconsiderate asshole who treats you like a come rag, OMG. The odds are on your side. Dump this guy and find a better one.