Slog
News & ArtsSaturday, February 9, 2013
Savage Love SL Letter of the Day: Human Pet
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Feb 9, 2013 at 10:41 AM
Originally published September 10, 2009:
I want a human pet. The human pet must become a dog. My pet will wear a butt-plug tail, a collar, and paw mitts. My pet will not speak anything other than its assigned safe word. Its communications will be limited to barking, licking, wagging its tail. The whole point is that, when done, there is a dog shaped like a human, but the shape is the only thing that isn't dog about my pet. The pet becomes so completely a dog that I wonder if it is bestiality to have sex with my dog/human pet.
Future Dog Lover
My response after the jump...
"Can vegans swallow?" used to be both the most annoying and frequently asked question in the sex-advice business. Now it's just the most frequently asked.
Some people consider their pets to be "members of the family," but there's nothing incestuous about fucking your dog. There's something sick and wrong about it, of course, but it's not incest. Similarly, a human pretending to be a dog is still a human, FDL, so having sex with your dog/human pet isn't bestiality and never will be. I hope that doesn't ruin it for you.
41
@31: "Dan is just giving ammo to right-wing jesus-cultists and other theocrats for posting sick shit like this."
Watching a man and another man hold hands is enough to throw them into a red-faced titty fit, who cares? They'll find something to hate regardless of what Dan posts. Consensual/weird posts and possible pranks aren't going to give them any more ammo than what Gomorrah they already have in mind.
Watching a man and another man hold hands is enough to throw them into a red-faced titty fit, who cares? They'll find something to hate regardless of what Dan posts. Consensual/weird posts and possible pranks aren't going to give them any more ammo than what Gomorrah they already have in mind.
40
@31 "I don't understand why Dan would post something as sick as this?"
High entertainment value ...
@31 "I don't understand why Dan would post something as sick as this?"
High entertainment value ...
37
@36 Good news! I've had all my shots... And I only attack when someone interupts my hockey game watching!
36
It was all fine play up until "The pet becomes so completely a dog that I wonder if it is bestiality to have sex with my dog/human pet." and it breaks into "FAAAAAAAAKE" territory.
@2: I'd be worried about you attacking my puppy and giving me rabies.
@2: I'd be worried about you attacking my puppy and giving me rabies.
34
Who DOESN'T swallow? I mean once you are at the point where someone is cumming in your mouth, how rude would it be to go spit it out?
32
My earnest answer to the Letter writer is this;
Human pet games in BDSM land, with people dressing and acting like dogs is nothing new under the sun, but you sound different to the run of the mill doggy play fetishists.
If in your mind, your "human pet" is so close to being a dog that you feel like sex with it borders on bestiality, then you are engaging in imaginary bestiality, if nothing else, and if that gets you off, then perhaps you have an inclination towards bestiality. Furthermore, this act may reinforce that tendency, and take you closer to the point of becoming a risk to pets, if it so happens that you, on top of being a (real) dog fetishist, lack the self restraint to stop you from abusing real dogs which you might have in your care.
Nothing in your letter suggests you would. But if in your fantasy world, you are having sex with a dog, and the idea of having sex with an animal which is incapable of consent doesn't horrify you and kill your boner, then how do you propose to bring back that empathy for innocent animals that you blocked when you were (in your mind) fucking your (human) dog?
Human pet games in BDSM land, with people dressing and acting like dogs is nothing new under the sun, but you sound different to the run of the mill doggy play fetishists.
If in your mind, your "human pet" is so close to being a dog that you feel like sex with it borders on bestiality, then you are engaging in imaginary bestiality, if nothing else, and if that gets you off, then perhaps you have an inclination towards bestiality. Furthermore, this act may reinforce that tendency, and take you closer to the point of becoming a risk to pets, if it so happens that you, on top of being a (real) dog fetishist, lack the self restraint to stop you from abusing real dogs which you might have in your care.
Nothing in your letter suggests you would. But if in your fantasy world, you are having sex with a dog, and the idea of having sex with an animal which is incapable of consent doesn't horrify you and kill your boner, then how do you propose to bring back that empathy for innocent animals that you blocked when you were (in your mind) fucking your (human) dog?
31
I don't understand why Dan would post something as sick as this?
This person is probably dangerous and needs psychiatric help, at least!
Dan is just giving ammo to right-wing jesus-cultists and other theocrats for posting sick shit like this.
This person is probably dangerous and needs psychiatric help, at least!
Dan is just giving ammo to right-wing jesus-cultists and other theocrats for posting sick shit like this.
30
The 24-7 aspect of this masturbatory fantasy is unrealizable of course, but that's the sort of enhancement that lets the LW still achieve orgasm, despite using this fantasy for many years of jerk-off sessions.
By now he's perhaps added magical science enhancements into the scenario, and his fantasy pet is transforming into an even more doggy-like creature.
By now he's perhaps added magical science enhancements into the scenario, and his fantasy pet is transforming into an even more doggy-like creature.
29
this is why we can't have nice things.
like Traditional Heterosexual Marriage.
or a functional society.
like Traditional Heterosexual Marriage.
or a functional society.
27
Well, readers have been asking for more weird kinky stuff, and less heterosexual "normal" relationship stuff. So I guess Dan is obliging.
26
Somewhere, a room full of college Republicans are screaming with joy that Dan actually sounded like he took them seriously.
25
If the safe word is the only word that the "human pet" is allowed to speak, it doesn't sound like a very useful safe word.
23
$5 says this letter was typed with one hand.
So I've seen guys into pup play, on both sides. I talked to the sub after, who told me about the head trip it sent him on. They might do it fun for one night a week, for a few hours a night.
Every day, all day? Reality is such a boner-killer.
The people who really do live in 24-7 dom-sub situations? The number of props used and the complexity is so minimal, it borders on Ozzy and Harriot.
So I've seen guys into pup play, on both sides. I talked to the sub after, who told me about the head trip it sent him on. They might do it fun for one night a week, for a few hours a night.
Every day, all day? Reality is such a boner-killer.
The people who really do live in 24-7 dom-sub situations? The number of props used and the complexity is so minimal, it borders on Ozzy and Harriot.
22
@14: That's because there wasn't actually a question posed by the LW. I suppose the implied question is, "Will I ever find someone who agrees to this?"
I think I speak for most of us when I say, "I hope not."
I think I speak for most of us when I say, "I hope not."
19
"The whole point is that, when done, there is a dog shaped like a human, but the shape is the only thing that isn't dog about my pet. "
That might be the most batshit insane sentence I have ever read.
That might be the most batshit insane sentence I have ever read.
16
...oh and as a Raccoon sub, I would be looking for a Cyril Sneer dom.... With perhaps an appropriately shaped nose/face mounted dildo?
12
I think I am pretty open minded, but sometimes I think these people just have too much time on their hands. Maybe take up a hobby or two?
7
@6 So the tail looks real/attached....no tape needed? And you don't need a poop bag when taking your dog for a walk? Good for the owner, bad for the pet...
@3 Ohhhh yeah...it gets real kinky...
@3 Ohhhh yeah...it gets real kinky...
5
It's hard to be non-judgmental. Are some people just not interested in a relationship with a human? Kink is one thing, but most of a real relationship consists mostly of pretty mundane stuff. Dinner, breakfast, vacuuming, washing, tv, garden, work, socialising, etc. How do you achieve that with a butt plug up your butt and a tail strapped to you as you crawl around?
2
What a sicko!
I, for one, will only dress up and role-play as a raccoon... nothing else...any takers? It's not pretty...
I, for one, will only dress up and role-play as a raccoon... nothing else...any takers? It's not pretty...
Advertisement
Most Commented on Slog
-
All You Motherfuckers Complaining That aPodments Are Too Small at 200 Square Feet by Dominic Holden
-
SL Letter of the Day: Did You Think I Was Going To Tell You Not To Come Out? (PLUS: Help Free Kate!) by Dan Savage
-
It's Spring! Who's Ready for Street Harassment? by Cienna Madrid
-
Rightwing Anti-Gay French Activist Commits Suicide at Notre Dame Cathedral by Dan Savage
-
America's Epidemic of Toddler-on-Toddler Gun Violence Continues by Goldy
-
Dutch Artist Turns Dead Cat into Remote-Controlled Helicopter by Bethany Jean Clement
-
Slog Overnight by Dan Savage
-
Saint Genet Re-Creates "Shoot" by Brendan Kiley
-
New Gun Enthusiast... by Dan Savage
-
Slog Bible Study: Revelation 1:9 by Goldy
Stranger Personals
The Stranger
RSSSeattle Art & Performance Quarterly
A complete guide to Seattle's current art, film, dance, and theater season.
Facebook
Twitter
Comments (41) RSS