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Friday, February 8, 2013

Machiavelli's Sign Stolen

Posted by on Fri, Feb 8, 2013 at 7:50 AM

All will be forgiven!
  • All will be forgiven!

A bartender who shall remain nameless at beloved Capitol Hill standby Machiavelli writes:

We at Machiavelli just had our sandwich board stolen. It was a lovely one, painted by my brother John. Could you post these photos on Slog to put the word out to the Capitol Hill public that if anyone has any info on its whereabouts, there will be a reward for its return (as yet to be determined, but I think it will take the form of a Machiavelli gift certificate).

The damn thing was chained up, but the admittedly clever thieves cut through the hinge. We would love to have it back. I assume it is adorning the bedroom wall of some kid out there. It's probably my karma coming back to me. When I was thirteen I stole a carved wooden sign from a neighborhood deli called Joe's. The sign said "Eat at Joe's." It was pretty awesome. So I understand their motivation. Which is why I would be very forgiving if they chose to bring it back.

Did some kid named Machiavelli take it? Seems doubtful. Any info, put it in comments!


Comments (6) RSS

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I had nothing to do with this.
Posted by Machiavelli was framed on February 8, 2013 at 9:04 AM · Report this
For the most part the prince is a pretty boring and dated book but there was one passage that always stuck with me. At one point Machiavelli says that its important when you go on retreats up to your country estate to not just take in the surrounding countryside but note the hills valleys and rivers, if you were defending this area from an invading army what natural defenses would you use and what routes would you take if you were the one invading to avoid ambushes. That way when you're leading your army into unfamiliar country you'll be able to notice similarities and gain an important tactical advantage.

Don't know about the sign though.
Posted by velour on February 8, 2013 at 9:06 AM · Report this
let me guess, the bartender's name is Joe?
Posted by nador on February 8, 2013 at 9:56 AM · Report this
Dougsf 4
A few years ago a local sandwich shop in my neighborhood had their sign—a life-sized, errr... human-sized to be more accurate—stolen. As word got out; word of mouth, signs posted, neighborhood blogs, and eventually the local paper picked up the story—locals were ravenous for man-on-sign thief violence. The bloodlust was incredibly, but also heartwarming in a "people coming together" sort of way.

Eventually it was discovered who had it, but not clear if they actually stole it, but was quietly returned by the perps for fear of their own safety (I'd like to think).
Posted by Dougsf on February 8, 2013 at 2:25 PM · Report this
Dougsf 5
The sign was an anthropomorphic pickle (very important detail!), should any poor soul have actually tried to follow the story I posted above.
Posted by Dougsf on February 8, 2013 at 2:52 PM · Report this
Machiavelli 6
While in Bauhaus the other day we watched the jack-asses from the construction site unload a forklift, then attempt to drive the forklift up the sidewalk getting it stuck in your planter on the pointy corner of the building. It was wedged against the building and nearly broke the corner window. They finally called a tow-truck to extract the forklift. Not a stretch of the imagination to think they stuffed the sign under the wheels of the forklift while trying to extract the incredibly heavy forklift.
I'm sayin' "maybe" it was lost that way. Pure speculation, conjecture and finger pointing on my part. The rest of the sorted tale is all true, an eyewitness account. They were, in fact, jack-asses. I'm a state certified forklift trainer, and I know a jack-ass when I see one, or six. It was like watching a bunch of hillbilly moonshiners trying to hide the still as the revenuers were-a-cummin. It was a pitiful sight indeed.
Hope you get your sign back.
Posted by Machiavelli on February 8, 2013 at 4:35 PM · Report this

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