I am on the last day of this five-day, life-energy-sapping juice fast. I have not had solid food, aside from a few choice pieces of produce, since last weekend. Nor have I had coffee (okay, except for one time, and it was just a single inch). Nor any alcohol. I am going to eat dinner tonight. DINNER! I don't know what I'm eating yet, even though it's almost all I've thought about since Monday. I can't wait. Then I'm going to a show, and I'm going to party like usual, unless I fall down first. Which may happen.
Someone asked me yesterday if I'd do this again. HELL TO THE NO. Of course I wouldn't do this again. Did you hear me say I didn't eat solid food since last weekend?!? But that's not because I think it was totally worthless. I just think I've learned everything I could possibly learn.
Everyone keeps asking me why, why the fuck would you do this? Great question! Because it was crazy? Because Cienna said she would do it, too? (I'm collecting that cheeseburger ASAP, you lousy cheater.) Because it was a project? I don't know, exactly. Not because of cells and toxins and enzymes. I don't think there's any real scientific basis for the usual juice cleanse health claims. But maybe to see if "food desire" really was "just a head game," as the instructions laughably told me. And because it seemed insane and impossible and sometimes it's fun to see if you can do something that seems impossibly insane. Just to test yourself. I wish I had more wisdom to offer, but did I mention I haven't eaten real food since last weekend? I am a drooling juice jerk at this point.