Bullet to the Head is a stiff movie. But it's not just stiff in one way; it represents a rainbow of stiffnesses. It is arthritic. It limps. It's inflexible. It's starchy. It's like an army of men in Arthurian-era suits of armor doing a triathlon: kind of funny, mostly plodding, and then tragic when it comes time for the swimming competition.
The script is stiff-backed. It makes gestures toward the basic plot elements: A hired killer with the unfortunate nickname of Jimmy Bobo (Sylvester Stallone) is sucked into some sort of shady real-estate deal that requires him to team up with a cop (Sung Kang) and bump heads with an evil condo aficionado (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje) and his crew of weasels (Christian Slater) and cutthroats (Jason Momoa). But the dialogue is packed with dull exposition and dumb repetitions. At the scene of the hit that opens the movie, Jimmy Bobo admonishes his soon-to-be-doomed partner: "Don't forget to get his watch and wallet." "Right," his partner overexplains to nobody. "It needs to look like a break-in."