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Monday, January 21, 2013

Pastor Mark Driscoll Might Give You an iPad if You Praise His Book on Amazon

Posted by on Mon, Jan 21, 2013 at 5:33 PM

Pastor Mark Driscoll's new book, Who Do You Think You Are?: Finding Your True Identity in Christ, has been out on the e-shelves for just a week, and already, it's gotten a very popular review on Amazon. Problem is, it's not a very nice review. Now Pastor Mark seems desperate to restore balance to his Amazon profile and is enticing would-be reviewers with the promise of new gadgets every day this week:

Pastor Mark on Twitter
  • Pastor Mark on Twitter

Stephanie Drury, who thoughtfully and compassionately unpacks evangelical trends at Stuff Christian Culture Likes, wrote in an Amazon review titled "Mark Driscoll is to biblical wisdom as Richard Simmons is to cage-fighting," which has been found helpful by 756 of 996 Amazon users. Her review addresses Driscoll's use of logical fallacies and highlights the hateful (specifically misogynist, homophobic, authoritarian) culture fostered by the Mars Hill Church leadership. She adds:

It's not a secret that I feel Driscoll's teachings and his increasing popularity are a powerfully destructive epidemic in western evangelicalism.

Today, Pastor Mark announced he will give away a free iPad mini to one lucky reader who writes an Amazon review and/or posts about his new book on social media before midnight. Every day this week, a new giveaway will be announced at

Thanks to an anonymous slog tipper.


Comments (34) RSS

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bleedingheartlibertarian 1
Good luck Stephanie! I hope you win the Holy iPad!
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on January 21, 2013 at 6:01 PM · Report this
I would suspect that bribing people to review things on Amazon is against their terms of service...
Posted by happy renter on January 21, 2013 at 6:21 PM · Report this
Unregistered User 3
So THAT'S why over half of the reviews were posted in the last 24 hours.
Posted by Unregistered User on January 21, 2013 at 6:23 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 4
@3 - I'm sure it's pure coincidence that it has received dozens of brief-but-effusive reviews in the last few hours.

The most recent one, at the time of this writing, is my favorite:

iPad mini
This book is probably good. I haven't read it but am hoping by writing this review to win an iPad mini being given away by Pastor Mark. Yes, I'm honest.

I voted it up. I found it very helpful.
Posted by MacCrocodile on January 21, 2013 at 6:27 PM · Report this
Shini 5
@2 from my friends explanation, it would constitute as fraud and there is a chance the product might get purged.
Posted by Shini on January 21, 2013 at 6:30 PM · Report this
The good, all-knowing pastor also tweeted this today:

@PastorMark: Praying for our president, who today will place his hand on a Bible he does not believe to take an oath to a God he likely does not know.
Posted by Jesus H on January 21, 2013 at 6:58 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 7
Yep, nothing says "I am spiritually fulfilled" like a free iPad mini.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 21, 2013 at 6:58 PM · Report this
I got a free pizza at Big Mario's every night this week for the most awesome review of Mark's book.
Posted by Meinert on January 21, 2013 at 7:00 PM · Report this
Tacoma Traveler 9

So you've eaten a large pizza every night this week, huh?

Diabeetus Christ, Fatman! Write a few more reviews like that one and you'll be the winner on The Biggest Gainer!
Posted by Tacoma Traveler on January 21, 2013 at 7:05 PM · Report this
I hope Driscoll also consulted with the church's attorney, to make sure that this contest complies with state law, in each of the states where entries originate. Also the laws of each country from which entries are made. He could end up sued by multiple state attorneys general for contest fraud. Gosh, that would be a shame.
Posted by Luckier on January 21, 2013 at 7:57 PM · Report this
Damn, what Drury wrote rocked very hard indeed. Thanks for linking to it!
Posted by gloomy gus on January 21, 2013 at 8:05 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 12
What's the name of his new book, "The Profit Driven Life"?

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on January 21, 2013 at 8:15 PM · Report this
@10 freedom of religion!!!!!!!
Posted by CbytheSea on January 21, 2013 at 8:34 PM · Report this
theophrastus 14
Doesn't Dan Savage have another dubious fluid that is begging to be named "Driscoll"?
Posted by theophrastus on January 21, 2013 at 9:41 PM · Report this
Tacoma Traveler 15

Too easy. Driscoll already sounds like a biological emission of some kind. Better to name some form of infectious disease after him, preferably one that results in brain rot.
Posted by Tacoma Traveler on January 21, 2013 at 10:00 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 16
@14 - These neologisms are not to be taken lightly, but I think Driscoll might have it coming.
Posted by MacCrocodile on January 21, 2013 at 10:11 PM · Report this
Wouldn't it be cool if someone could make their membership list public.
Posted by jeffy on January 21, 2013 at 10:22 PM · Report this
gingersnap 18
crap, i just looked at this on amazon- what's it going to do to my "suggestions"? better shop for dildoes and ass creme "people who viewed this also viewed this"....
Posted by gingersnap on January 21, 2013 at 10:34 PM · Report this
I hope Anthony Robinson reads this thread, since he wrote a sickeningly adoring article about one of Mars Hill's pastors in Crosscut recently.
Posted by sarah70 on January 21, 2013 at 11:05 PM · Report this
Holy bait and switch batman!
Posted by Erok on January 22, 2013 at 12:48 AM · Report this
Great review ^_^
Posted by Tyro on January 22, 2013 at 3:07 AM · Report this
sheiler 22
If you agree with Drury's review, ie found it to be helpful, you guys should click the 'yes' button at the end of her review. The more yesses her review gets, the closer it appears on the book's main page.
Posted by sheiler on January 22, 2013 at 3:33 AM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 23
We need to make the connection with all things being Apple being totally gay again.

Somehow we lost that connection a few years back.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on January 22, 2013 at 7:14 AM · Report this
And seriously - write the best review of the book and win a free Big Mario's Pizza -….
Posted by Meinert on January 22, 2013 at 9:52 AM · Report this
And if you show up at Driscoll's office after hours, you can win a free blow job. You just have to call him "Jesus" while he's down there.

It's not a sin if he hates himself for doing it, right?
Posted by Cult Watcher on January 22, 2013 at 10:22 AM · Report this
treacle 26
Wait.. What's the link @PastorMark posted?: jesus. to/Wbc1RK ?? Looks like a sly reference to the Westboro Baptist Church, if you ask me! POSEURS!!
Posted by treacle on January 22, 2013 at 10:36 AM · Report this
treacle 27
14, "Driscoll n. 1. The lathery spray of saliva discharged from a preacher's mouth while preaching zealously."
Posted by treacle on January 22, 2013 at 10:42 AM · Report this
Sandiai 28
@27 Works especially well for Brian Brown…
Posted by Sandiai on January 22, 2013 at 12:58 PM · Report this
My review:…

"In all my 31 years of confused and misguided drudgery on this planet, I had amassed a plethora of questions, BURNING questions, that could not be answered by my usual musings with parents, peers, and internet searches on the iPad I had not yet won. After viewing Jackie Chan's cinematic masterpiece, 'Who Am I?' I came to realize two things. One; I really wished I had learned martial arts as a child, and two; I had no idea who I was. I mean I recognized myself in the mirror, and I liked what I saw and everything, but who was I on the INSIDE, beneath the stunning good looks and charming personality?

At first I thought the answer lied in material things. I tried drugs, promiscuous sexual relations, exquisite dining, iPads... Sure they were great, and I continue to do them, but there was a hole they didn't fill... Something else I needed to buy. It was as if there was a $13.64 void in my soul, and no one on this planet that had any understanding of it.

That missing bit of consumerism was filled by this book. It taught me how to truly appreciate Mr. Driscoll and his relationship with God. If was as if all my years of sin had been vicariously lifted, and I could finally be at peace knowing that I truly understand His (the author's) burden and sacrifice in giving up so much in his pursuit of genuinely wanting to help people. And by that I mean mostly iPads.

I cannot recommend this book enough. If you've ever had questions such as, "Who do I think I am?", "How can I avoid years of therapy and intense personal reflection?", "Is there a way to win a free iPad on Amazon?", and "What is Mark Driscoll's relationship status?" then this is the book for you. It's found a permanent resting spot on my bookshelf between my treasured copies of 'How to Identify Wood' and 'How to Avoid Huge Ships'. Maybe it will find a place on your shelf too. And then you can understand the inner joy that is Mark Driscoll."
Posted by allworkandnoclay on January 22, 2013 at 8:30 PM · Report this
Posted by allworkandnoclay on January 22, 2013 at 8:32 PM · Report this
Good Luck dear for Mini iPad...
Garage Equipments
Posted by Mpworker1 on November 20, 2013 at 12:35 PM · Report this
Good luck to win Mini ipad every one :) ....
Weebly blog
Posted by Mpworker1 on November 20, 2013 at 12:39 PM · Report this
Thanks for nice sharing I should be told others What is apple ?
Posted by smithjone297@gmail.comsteve7876 on January 16, 2014 at 8:57 PM · Report this
Thanks for nice sharing I should be told others What is apple ?
Posted by smithjone297@gmail.comsteve7876 on January 16, 2014 at 8:59 PM · Report this

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