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Friday, January 18, 2013

Subway Claims Footlong Is "Not Intended to Be a Measurement of Length"

Posted by on Fri, Jan 18, 2013 at 3:32 PM

Gawker says that Subway has finally addressed the social media protest against their eleven-inch "footlong" subs.

While Subway acknowledged that the undersized bread "is not baked to our standards," it goes on to claim that there really is no such thing as "undersized bread" because "footlong" is just a word.

"With regards to the size of the bread and calling it a footlong, 'SUBWAY FOOTLONG' is a registered trademark as a descriptive name for the sub sold in Subway® Restaurants and not intended to be a measurement of length."

After Subway wrote this response on Facebook, BuzzFeed published screenshots from Subway commercials demonstrating that their ads do, indeed, suggest that their footlong sandwiches are a foot long. If the Obama administration gave a good goddamn about the American public, we'd see troops invading Subway shops from coast to coast until this international crisis is resolved. Personally, I can't even believe that Subway is legally allowed to use the word "sandwiches" to describe their product.


Comments (37) RSS

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Chef Thunder 1
It's the internet all measurements should be assumed to be 3/4 of the stated length
Posted by Chef Thunder on January 18, 2013 at 3:40 PM · Report this
seatackled 2
Eating Subway sandwiches can get you AIDES.
Posted by seatackled on January 18, 2013 at 3:44 PM · Report this
Yeah, and 6 inches is the new 8 inches.
Posted by gnossos on January 18, 2013 at 3:54 PM · Report this
Fnarf 4
That's what I TOLE 'er! It's as long as it needs to be, OK?

Am I allowed to claim that "five, five dollar" isn't intended to be a measure of cost, and get away with paying four bucks?
Posted by Fnarf on January 18, 2013 at 3:57 PM · Report this
Subway should just tell people that it's not the length that matters, but how good it tastes going down.
Posted by Neal on January 18, 2013 at 3:59 PM · Report this
heywhatsit!? 6
Yeah, and a 2"x4" board isn't 2 inches by 4 inches either.
Posted by heywhatsit!? on January 18, 2013 at 3:59 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 7
Sure sounds to me like some Attorney Generals worth their salt would be filing class actions in record time.

Just saying.

By the way, the tunnel funding and tolls just fell apart in committee. Even worse than before. Pretending things are ok there won't make it go away.
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 18, 2013 at 4:03 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 8
@5 for the Epic Win.
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 18, 2013 at 4:04 PM · Report this
fletc3her 9
Maybe they switched to Metric without telling anyone. 3 decimeters is just shy of 12 inches.
Posted by fletc3her on January 18, 2013 at 4:04 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 10
@9 decimeters? You mean 30 cm?
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 18, 2013 at 4:05 PM · Report this
douchus 11
What is with The Stranger's (Paul Constant's) "War on Subway"?! I thought you all were huge fans of mass transit?
Posted by douchus on January 18, 2013 at 4:10 PM · Report this
You know what they say about sandwich shops with small feet...
Posted by nullbull on January 18, 2013 at 4:11 PM · Report this
Knat 13
I think I had an easier time scraping together some outrage when Subway went from the stamp system to the sub club cards, and thus reduced the frequency of free sandwiches for regular customers. Subway's clearly been caught pulling some shenanigans, but it's just that I don't really care.
Posted by Knat on January 18, 2013 at 4:13 PM · Report this
@6: That's the pre-cured (wet) measurement of the lumber.
Posted by Lenina on January 18, 2013 at 4:14 PM · Report this
fastasleep 15
Footlong subs are the new unlimited data.
Posted by fastasleep on January 18, 2013 at 4:17 PM · Report this
Posted by Mr John on January 18, 2013 at 4:23 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 17
Again, just because you can measure submarines in parsecs, or base pairs, doesn't mean it's a normal method of measurement. The convention is that we use centimeters for lengths between 10 cm and 1 meter, and millimeters for lengths from 10 mm to 100 mm (10 cm).

Just like if I was to say that your car was 452 inches long, you would stare at me and say "What?", @16.
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 18, 2013 at 4:29 PM · Report this
Subway’s marketing dept must be run by men
Posted by olive oyl on January 18, 2013 at 4:37 PM · Report this
rob! 19
You know, there was a time when "baker's dozen" meant more than twelve.
Posted by rob! on January 18, 2013 at 4:39 PM · Report this
Eastpike 20
I get the footlong being a figure of speech, but not the choice of either 6" or 12" sandwiches. Those are intended to be measurements. However, the sandwich industry is not required to be licensed by the state for the purpose of measurement on length of sandwich. Essentially, they can eyeball it and call it 12 inches- totally legal.
Posted by Eastpike on January 18, 2013 at 4:49 PM · Report this
CC-Rob 21
Subway Subs? Blasphemy! I can't believe how many people eat that corporate chain donkey shit! I speak as a former Philadelphian.
Posted by CC-Rob on January 18, 2013 at 4:53 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 22
"And when we say 'food,' we are by no means implying that it is a source of nourishment."
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 18, 2013 at 4:59 PM · Report this
Half of a footlong sandwich is described as a 6" sandwich. That means implicitly that the footlong should actually be a foot long. Since the footlong is not a foot long, that means that a sandwich half as long - called a 6" - is actually less than 6", and is thus deceptive advertising. Subway's claim that "footlong" is just a name and not descriptive might work for some, but calling a sandwich which is less than 6" a 6" sandwich is a bit harder to defend.
Posted by RVPMB on January 18, 2013 at 5:06 PM · Report this
Try this logic with your partner this weekend.
Posted by rainbird on January 18, 2013 at 5:10 PM · Report this
heywhatsit!? 25
@14 I know that. Now. That would have been useful information when I was 19 and working a summer construction job. Man, I screwed that job up six ways from Sunday.
Posted by heywhatsit!? on January 18, 2013 at 5:11 PM · Report this
Next target: The Burger King's Whopper.
Posted by rainbird on January 18, 2013 at 5:12 PM · Report this
Jeez...what's with all the Subway hate? I grant you it's not the best sandwich out there, but there's got to be something to be said for a fast food chain that actually gives you easy access to a healthy variety of fresh veggies, and moreover pushes them to the front of the counter instead having them on the menu as an afterthought.
Posted by Corydon on January 18, 2013 at 5:43 PM · Report this
Will In Seattle: you don't get to pick nits if you don't know how to pluralize Attorney General. That's know-it-all 101.
Posted by also just probably never speak again thanks on January 18, 2013 at 6:30 PM · Report this
You do know that the buns are short because somebody didn't let them rise enough, right? Sometimes the store gets busy and you have to send 'em to the oven early or run out of buns. Which would be worse: an 11" footlong or going to Subway and not walking out with a sandwich?
Posted by Former "Sandwich Artiste" on January 18, 2013 at 6:43 PM · Report this
onion 30
@6 - oh lumber measurements are my pet peeeeeve. who cares what the wet uncured measurement is! when I go to a lumberyard and they are calling the product i am buying a 4 x 4, well, i expect it to be a 4 x 4.
anyone here Costa Rican? can someone please explain to me again what a "vara" is...
Posted by onion on January 18, 2013 at 7:50 PM · Report this
watchout5 31
Subway's marketing team must have been fired and these are some CEO's talking. The sandwich that is one of the biggest sellers in their company is 2 words
It can still be a good deal, but to deny the existence of exactly what you've been telling us since day 1 of Subway is rude and I for one will gladly stuff myself with Dick's instead until this matter is resolved. I SAID GOOD DAY.
Posted by watchout5 on January 18, 2013 at 10:48 PM · Report this
There is no such thing as wet lumber measurement. Look up nominal and dressed size lumber if you want to know why every 2x4 is really a 3x1 1/2.
Posted by fugatone on January 19, 2013 at 10:15 AM · Report this
venomlash 33
@17: You can't actually measure a submarine in base pairs.
I've never heard of your made-up "convention", you neckbeard.
Posted by venomlash on January 19, 2013 at 2:10 PM · Report this
thatsnotright 34
Why pull in federal troops when we have all these " well regulated militia" people who could manage a response on a voluntary basis? It's serious issues like these that the founders envisioned when they wrote the 2nd Amendment.
Posted by thatsnotright on January 19, 2013 at 3:36 PM · Report this
Frank Blethen's vodka distiller 35
I got your foot long right here.
Posted by Frank Blethen's vodka distiller on January 19, 2013 at 6:37 PM · Report this
runswithnailclippers 36
Yeah Subway, so why is there no "Ron Jeremy" sub?
Posted by runswithnailclippers on January 19, 2013 at 9:13 PM · Report this
Karlheinz Arschbomber 37
I came back from an extended time in Europe and discovered that the familiar Half-Gallon/64 Oz. container of Orange Juice was now 59 Oz., and the standard 5-lb bag of Sugar is now 4 lb.

God bless the MBAs who really know how to run businesses.
Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber on January 19, 2013 at 10:04 PM · Report this

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