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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Because It's Never to Early to Learn About the Pleasures of Security Theater

Posted by on Tue, Jan 15, 2013 at 1:49 PM

Beloved Slog commenter/tipper mr. herriman introduced me to the Amazon page for the Playmobil Security Check Point, which comes with an adorable metal detector, little plastic x-ray machine, two FAA agents, some luggage, and a highly suspicious "passenger." And as mr. herriman notes, "the reviews are delightful." Consider:

I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.

and (click to enlarge) this one:



Comments (10) RSS

Newest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Why is it not fixed yet? IT HURTS. Please correct it.
Posted by heatherly on January 15, 2013 at 11:59 PM · Report this
It's never too early to engage the services of a copy editor either.
Posted by madcap on January 15, 2013 at 11:11 PM · Report this
Anthony Hecht 8
@3 - It's a real product, since discontinued. Now it's a collectible, so it's stupidly expensive.
Posted by Anthony Hecht on January 15, 2013 at 5:57 PM · Report this

Yes, I see @1 beat me to it, but fuck, man, you're supposed to be a journalist. My eyes just bled out.
Posted by Faber on January 15, 2013 at 4:05 PM · Report this
Yeah, the reviews are wonderful. But it really costs $200?!
No wonder I never had Playmobil stuff when I was a kid.
Posted by BallardBoy on January 15, 2013 at 4:01 PM · Report this
Someone beat me to it, but really, " never to early"? In The Stranger, where grammar and punctuation are so highly valued?
Posted by BallardBoy on January 15, 2013 at 3:59 PM · Report this
yelahneb 4
While still funny/relevant, this is from 2005.
Posted by yelahneb on January 15, 2013 at 2:44 PM · Report this
Who knew it was so easy to troll amazon with fake products
Posted by xcowardx on January 15, 2013 at 1:58 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 2
Remember, your blanket or coat/jacket can be easily used to subdue terrorists, as well as muffle any low-yielding explosions, especially if lots of you do it.

Everything else is mostly a waste of time.
Posted by Will in Seattle on January 15, 2013 at 1:55 PM · Report this
Hawke 1
Yes, I went there.
Posted by Hawke on January 15, 2013 at 1:54 PM · Report this

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