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Thursday, January 10, 2013

So Blurb Me Maybe?

Posted by on Thu, Jan 10, 2013 at 2:22 PM


I haaaaaaate writing blurbs for books—I hate being asked to write blurbs—so I'm not asking any writers I know to blurb my new book. (You can preorder that shit now.) I've decided to be the change I want to see in the publishing world while we still have a publishing world to change. But when I tweeted that I wasn't asking for blurbs—because I can't bring myself to do it—my followers started blurbing my new book anyway. Without reading it first. Now, most people who blurb books have the decency to read the book; failing that, most have the decency to at least pretend that they've read the book. But there have been times when writers have blurbed books they didn't even read.

Not me, of course, because I'm too Catholic for that shit. Also, what if you blurb a book you didn't read and the author announces in the last chapter that he's a white supremacist or something?

But now I'm thinking about using blurbs for my new book—available for preorder now—from people who haven't read it. So blurb my new book, Sloggers, in the comments or blurb me on Twitter using the #blurbsavage hashtag. Maybe your blurb will wind up on my dust jacket—you too, "Danny" troll!

 

Comments (59) RSS

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Cato the Younger Younger 1
Well...Joel Connelly will probably claim you are cheapening the word "shit". And by cheapening it he means by using it more than once.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on January 10, 2013 at 2:34 PM · Report this
emma's bee 2
"Crisp phrasing and apt metaphors that will be consumed by Saddlebackers from Pensacola to Puyallup."
Posted by emma's bee on January 10, 2013 at 2:39 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 3
"Better than a platinum coin, Dan spews nuggets of wisdom upon the sands of time which stick to the pages like santorum."
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 10, 2013 at 2:42 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 4
"Dan Savage is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life."
Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 10, 2013 at 2:43 PM · Report this
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 5
"The cover photo is Photoshopped, yes, what portrait isn't nowadays, honestly? But not the arms dear reader, not those sweet, sweet arms."

— Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn, author of Ia! Ia!, a memoir
Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn http://youtu.be/zu-akdyxpUc on January 10, 2013 at 2:52 PM · Report this
6
A must-read. Indeed, I must read it someday.
Posted by Ricardo on January 10, 2013 at 2:58 PM · Report this
Matt the Engineer 7
Probably doesn't suck.
Posted by Matt the Engineer on January 10, 2013 at 2:59 PM · Report this
JensR 8
"Haha stfu, Americans don't read! You can hardly be bothered with subtitles"
/friendly eurotrash
Posted by JensR http://ohyran.se on January 10, 2013 at 3:03 PM · Report this
You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me 9
This is a book with pages that turn nicely and feature words formed into sentences worth reading.
Posted by You_Gotta_Be_Kidding_Me on January 10, 2013 at 3:05 PM · Report this
10
Most of his other books have been okay, so this one probably is.

P.S. Tina Fey wrote her own blurbs and they are something hilarious to strive for.
Posted by crone on January 10, 2013 at 3:05 PM · Report this
11
"Lies straight from Hell!" -Paul Broun impersonator
Posted by LukeJoe on January 10, 2013 at 3:07 PM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 12
"Dan Savage, former child star of "The Wonder Years", has turned the literary world on it's head with his latest book, American Savage. With harrowing wit and charm, Dan Savage has proven he can do it again...and again...and again."
Posted by ArtBasketSara on January 10, 2013 at 3:10 PM · Report this
13
I disagree. When I pick up a book to decide whether or not to read it, I hate it when all I see are one-line reaction quotes. Knowing that the New York Times thought that such-and-such a book was "Phenomenal!" does not help at all when what I want to know is what the book is about.

But yes, people who write the blurbs should bother to read the book.

So what's the book about?
Posted by DRF on January 10, 2013 at 3:12 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 14
The pope condemns this book and all who read it! Get your copy now!
Posted by Pope Peabrain on January 10, 2013 at 3:14 PM · Report this
Bonefish 15
Whether he’s declaring that women are humans rather than livestock, strongly implying that the First Amendment is maybe sorta a little worth enforcing, or arguing that a collection of hallucinogen-inspired rants from ancient desert tribes is no basis for murdering gay children, Savage continues his proclivity for controversial opinions in this latest must-read work.
- B. Smith, Scientist.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 10, 2013 at 3:26 PM · Report this
Matt the Engineer 16
Better than 50 Shades of Gray!

Oh wait, or:

50 Shades of Gay.
Posted by Matt the Engineer on January 10, 2013 at 3:26 PM · Report this
orange&black 17
"A proud moment of intellectual clarity for the white race".
(Just anticipating the last chapter.)
Posted by orange&black on January 10, 2013 at 3:28 PM · Report this
18
"It Gets Better" than this book.
Posted by TimMathis on January 10, 2013 at 3:30 PM · Report this
Bonefish 19
For every sale of “American Savage,” fifty dollars are donated to gay escorts by antigay politicians.
- B. Smith, Statistician.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 10, 2013 at 3:30 PM · Report this
jnmend 20
A totally unexpected book from one of the stars of the hit show Mythbusters.
- James Polk
Posted by jnmend on January 10, 2013 at 3:32 PM · Report this
STS 21
Yup. It's a book, alright.
Posted by STS on January 10, 2013 at 3:34 PM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 22

"It's like taking a hot steel rod in the hindquarters...and asking for more!"

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on January 10, 2013 at 3:35 PM · Report this
Bonefish 23
Not to be confused with Michael Savage, the secretly gay political author from gay mecca San Francisco, Dan Savage is the openly gay political author from Seattle. Once we realized this, books like “American Savage” became much more appealing to us and we’re sure it’s worth a read, unlike the shrill screeds written by that closeted fuckface in Frisco.
- B. Smith, Potential Libeler.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 10, 2013 at 3:38 PM · Report this
Bonefish 24
Even if I knew how to read, I sure as fuck wouldn't read this book.
- Rush Limbaugh, Dipshit.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 10, 2013 at 3:40 PM · Report this
Looking For a Better Read 25
"This book is way better than anything Christopher Hitchens is writing these days!"
Posted by Looking For a Better Read on January 10, 2013 at 3:46 PM · Report this
singing cynic 26
Hideously offensive, deeply sacrilegious, anti-American screed by a pretentious liberal homosexual. I couldn't put it down.
Posted by singing cynic on January 10, 2013 at 3:49 PM · Report this
I Hate Screen Names 27
The next time a natural disaster strikes America, it will be the fault of this book and everyone who read it. Because of Jesus.

-Pat Robertson
Posted by I Hate Screen Names on January 10, 2013 at 3:55 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 28
"Dan Savage is a helluva read!!!" - Larry King
Posted by Gern Blanston on January 10, 2013 at 3:56 PM · Report this
rob! 29
@12 has disturbed, somehow, fibrinous plaques upon my centers of long-term recollection.
"A heartbreaking work of staggering genius."
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on January 10, 2013 at 4:00 PM · Report this
Typographer 30
"Dan Savage plumbs the labrynthine twists of the intersection of sex and politics with the buoyand delight of a conjurer."

That's what I was going to submit, that is, until I read @15. Can I vote for @15?
Posted by Typographer on January 10, 2013 at 4:02 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 31
"He did not go to the gym while writing this book. His ass must be huge now." - Gern Blanston
Posted by Gern Blanston on January 10, 2013 at 4:03 PM · Report this
Bonefish 32
I should have known better than to use this as bedtime reading for my son. Now he's asking me all sorts of questions. How am I supposed to explain something as sick and deviant as Rick Santorum to a sleepy five-year-old?
- B. Smith, bewildered parent.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 10, 2013 at 4:03 PM · Report this
SiSiSodaPop in Vegas 33
@15...... awesome
Posted by SiSiSodaPop in Vegas on January 10, 2013 at 4:21 PM · Report this
--MC 34
Life affirming, death dealing, a wake-up call to a nation of sleepyheads: this is the now, this is the new, this is the new book by Dan Savage.
Posted by --MC on January 10, 2013 at 4:23 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 35
The prequel that 50 Shades of Grey wishes it was.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 10, 2013 at 4:25 PM · Report this
36
"There is no way you are getting a quote from us to use on your book cover" - NOM

(yes i stole that from the banksy book, sue me)
Posted by dutchie on January 10, 2013 at 4:43 PM · Report this
37
"Perfectly adequate!"
Posted by LateBloomer on January 10, 2013 at 4:47 PM · Report this
despicable me 38
"Gay HEAD Cheerleader Dan Savage comes in through the back door with his latest home run. Keen, penetrative, oddly whimsical, a MUST read!

Can't wait for the book, Dan, I pre-ordered! xo
Posted by despicable me on January 10, 2013 at 4:47 PM · Report this
milemarker 39
"The Islamic world is celebrating Savage's new manifesto as if Mohammad (see likeness below) had risen from the dead and blessed it as the replacement for the Koran."

"I want to party with this guy" - Mitt Romney

"You should shoot your way through an entire daycare to get your hands on this book." Wayne La Pierre, NRA
Posted by milemarker on January 10, 2013 at 4:48 PM · Report this
Knat 40
"Boy, this seems awfully meandering and unfocused. People actually read crap like this nowadays?" - Hunter S. Thompson

"I keep a copy in my bathroom. It helps." - Dr James Dobson
Posted by Knat on January 10, 2013 at 5:01 PM · Report this
41
"Mr Savage is the much-needed leaven in the lump." - J. Brodie (Miss)
Posted by vennominon on January 10, 2013 at 5:21 PM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 42
@29 I disturb, it's what I do (?). Also a Dan Savage quote from his new book (I'm pretty sure).

"A majestic romp through the glitter mines of 21st century America."

"American Savage stands on the backs of such giants as 'The Hobbit' and 'Twilight Saga' to produce a political sex thriller tour de force that will have you cheering for more!"
Posted by ArtBasketSara on January 10, 2013 at 5:23 PM · Report this
kim in portland 43
"The opinions expressed in this novel exceed 140 characters."
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on January 10, 2013 at 6:01 PM · Report this
44
"I know we've had our differences in the past, but I have to admit that Savage's chapter on BDSM was genuinely insightful."

Pope Benedict XVI
Posted by TimMathis on January 10, 2013 at 6:08 PM · Report this
Rhett Oracle 45
Reading Savage's latest topical tome will not make you pregnant, pretty, smart or fat. But it may make you wonder what it would be like to spend one day walking around in Dan's gay shoes.
Posted by Rhett Oracle on January 10, 2013 at 6:10 PM · Report this
46
"100% Safe and FoolProof!"
Posted by fool proof. really. on January 10, 2013 at 6:28 PM · Report this
47
"Man, fuck this shit"

- New York Times
Posted by TimMathis on January 10, 2013 at 6:37 PM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 48
@42 er, make that "Dan Savage stands on..."
Posted by ArtBasketSara on January 10, 2013 at 7:30 PM · Report this
49
I really love that Dan alluded to the Period Troll and even invited him to comment!

@25- God, that's harsh.
Posted by lizza on January 10, 2013 at 7:40 PM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 50
@48 No wait, wait... I can do this...

"Dan Savage stands on the backs of such literary giants as JRR Tolkien and Stephenie Meyer to produce a political sex thriller tour de force that will have you cheering for more!"

Ah, nailed it! ...oh God, I'm wasting my life...

(Note: Inclusion of Stephenie Myer with Tolkien is purely for the current pop culture name recognition value. It feels dirty and wrong but I'm just that kinda blurb writer!)
Posted by ArtBasketSara on January 10, 2013 at 8:00 PM · Report this
Bonefish 51
Savage is even more no-nonsense in this book than he is in my wildest fantasies.
- R. Santorum, former Senator and failed Presidential candidate.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 10, 2013 at 8:09 PM · Report this
Matt the Engineer 52
Comic Sans was a bold choice of font, but Dan's pulled it off.
Posted by Matt the Engineer on January 10, 2013 at 9:18 PM · Report this
milemarker 53
"With SLOG fans hitting the exits in droves over the ever-changing book outlining schedule, Savage masterminds a diversion called "pre-ordering" and "blurp me" that has turned his remaining readers suicidal. Is it another stalling tactic? Will the book actually appear sometime in February along with Andrew Sullivan's promised new independent blog? Will Savage and Sullivan head to the hills with all the pre-order loot?

Pre-order and find out!
Posted by milemarker on January 10, 2013 at 10:00 PM · Report this
seandr 54
So good they ought to sell it in bookstores!
Posted by seandr on January 10, 2013 at 10:33 PM · Report this
Reverend Tap 55
"The book is absolutely wonderful, particularly sauteed with shallots in a white wine sauce. Now that's what I call good reading."
Posted by Reverend Tap http://www.libr8.org on January 11, 2013 at 3:26 AM · Report this
Will in Seattle 56
"This book should be boycotted by extremists of all types, so that it becomes a bestseller."
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 11, 2013 at 9:49 AM · Report this
57
Now I want to buy it just for the blurbs.
Posted by random_lez on January 11, 2013 at 4:47 PM · Report this
58
His readers can finally find out what was so damn important to say that they had to sit through months of old Savage Love. Worth it? You decide.
Posted by idaho on January 13, 2013 at 11:56 AM · Report this
59
Mr. Savage has finally taken sexual neologisms into the realm of sign language. This book is a must-read, if only to learn what shocking act Savage is depicting with that face-cupping gesture in the cover photo.
- Gasp!
Posted by Gasp! on January 13, 2013 at 7:54 PM · Report this

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