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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Savage Love Gold Star Commenter of the Day

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jan 10, 2013 at 12:01 PM

YUUUUUUUP—a straight guy who likes getting fucked in the ass (and digs trans porn)—offers some support and perspective to a straight guy who's in a panic about getting fucked in the ass by a trans escort:

WSOWS, as a straight guy into pegging and trans-porn, I can assure you it's possible to be into these things and not be gay. I've never had sex with a transexual like you did, but I do like to be fucked in the ass with a strap on and regularly watch trans-porn and I am straight. I've never dated or had sex with a man, nor wanted to. Men just don't arouse me.

Why do I, a straight man, enjoy being anally penetrated and watching trans-porn? First, having stuff in my butt just feels good—it makes whatever else is happening feel that much better. Second, the idea of being the object that "gets fucked", instead of the person doing the fucking, is hot to me. I like the dynamic of that power switch, of becoming the one that gets penetrated. The turn on isn't the dick, it's the getting fucked part. When I'm getting fucked with a strap on it's not a substitute for a man fucking me with a dick, it's the fulfillment of my true fantasy: getting fucked by a woman.

I'm glad I didn't discover my "kink" at age 21, like you, long before I'd started reading Dan Savage, because I probably would have been as freaked out as you, worrying if liking things in my butt "made me gay". Luckily for me, I didn't discover my taste for anal penetration until late in my 20's after I'd been reading Dan Savage for several years (In fact, I discovered it because a SL question about pegging really turned me on ). Discovering the "kink" at that time, as an educated DS reader and with several years of evidence that I was straight, allowed me to just embrace and enjoy my "kink" without having to worry about "what it means".

My advice to you, WSOWS, is to stop worrying about being gay (and make sure your fear isn't stemming from homophobia) and try some pegging. If you liked getting fucked by a trans sex worker, I'm guessing you'll go nuts for getting fucked by a girlfriend you love wearing a strap on.

Glad I could help, YUUUUUUUP. More comments YUUUUUUUP here.

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Comments (15) RSS

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Aw, that's utterly great. Your work lo, these decades has given readers a legacy of experience they can pass along to the next generation. Best sort of crowdsourcing yet.

Posted by gloomy gus on January 10, 2013 at 12:19 PM

gross

Posted by tainte on January 10, 2013 at 1:53 PM

What's gross? Gay men aren't the only ones with prostates. Straight guys have 'em too. So it only makes sense that it would feel good to a lot of guys to be penetrated.

And as a female that really, really wants to peg a guy, it's HOT!

Posted by RTam on January 10, 2013 at 2:00 PM

That was sweet.

@2, Being sarcastic I hope.

RTam @3, care to share any insight as to what the turn on is for the pegger?

Posted by Ophian on January 10, 2013 at 2:26 PM

@5 - In my experience, it's the dominance. I like taking my manly male partner and bending him over and just taking his ass. It's quite the rush.

Posted by sanguisuga on January 10, 2013 at 2:34 PM

Oops. @5 should be for @4. Dur.

Posted by sanguisuga on January 10, 2013 at 2:35 PM

sanguisuga @6, the more manly the partner, the greater the satisfaction of the dominant position?

Posted by Ophian on January 10, 2013 at 2:56 PM

poop

Posted by tainte on January 10, 2013 at 3:09 PM

@8 If you ever have or have to deal with infants, you'll get over the 'gross' factor but quick. (hehe, "butt" quick...) I lost my squick factor for any of that stuff years ago. Anyway, there's isn't much if any poop if you're doin' it right.

Posted by treacle on January 10, 2013 at 3:17 PM

@8 obviously tainte ain't doin' it right...

Posted by Charles Maguro on January 10, 2013 at 3:40 PM

@10: Yep. Talk about your tainted love.

[earworm commencing in 3, 2, 1....]

Posted by Catherwood on January 10, 2013 at 4:17 PM

@10- Obviously. Hard to believe folks are still so clueless after 20 years of Savage Love, but here's the proof.
But perhaps straight dudes don't deal with their holes in advance like most gay dudes do? I hope I'm wrong there.

Posted by OutInBumF on January 10, 2013 at 4:18 PM

@12 I'm not so sure that can be counted on. My straight roommates, for example, find it bizarre and somehow vaguely gross that I purchase wet wipes instead of toilet paper.

Posted by Herald on January 10, 2013 at 6:17 PM

@13- those same guys probably wash a couple times per year 'down there'; fear of the anus making you gay strikes again. Now *those* guys ARE gross, and I'd be afraid to stick 'em with anything.

Posted by OutInBumF on January 10, 2013 at 7:06 PM

@7 - Not necessarily. My definition of "manly" doesn't mean big and buff frat dudes. The guys that I'm with know who they are and what they want, and they aren't shy about sharing it with me. It's not just the domination, it's that they trust me implicitly and bend over willingly.

Posted by sanguisuga on January 11, 2013 at 9:37 AM