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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

It's Twilight's Year at the Razzies

Posted by on Wed, Jan 9, 2013 at 1:23 PM

Tomorrow is the day the Oscar nominations are announced, which means today is the day the Golden Raspberry Awards, which "celebrate" the worst Hollywood has to offer, announce their nominees. I think this is going to be the year for Twilight to sweep the Razzies, in much the same way that Return of the King swept the 76th Academy Awards. The problem is that this is going to be more of a lifetime achievement award for Twilight. Breaking Dawn, Part 2 was actually one of the more watchable entries in the series. (This is not saying much, I know, but it's still something.) As with any awards show, the movies that will win and the movies that should win are not always the same thing.

With that in mind, here's the list of nominees. I've bolded the names that I believe should win the Razzie. I'm only picking "winners" from movies that I've seen, which is why the Adam Sandler "comedy" That's My Boy gets to walk away unscathed:

Worst Picture

"Battleship"
"The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure"
"That's My Boy"
"A Thousand Words"
"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"

Worst Director

Sean Anders, "That's My Boy"
Peter Berg, "Battleship"
Bill Condon, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
Tyler Perry, "Good Deeds/Madea's Witness Protection"
John Putch, "Atlas Shrugged: Part 2"

Worst Actress

Katherine Heigl, "One for the Money"
Milla Jovovich, "Resident Evil: Retribution"
Tyler Perry, "Madea's Witness Protection"
Kristen Stewart, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2," "Snow White and the Huntsman"
Barbra Streisand, "The Guilt Trip"

Worst Actor

Nicolas Cage, "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance," "Seeking Justice"
Eddie Murphy, "A Thousand Words"
Robert Pattinson, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
Tyler Perry, "Alex Cross," "Good Deeds"
Adam Sandler, "That's My Boy"

Worst Supporting Actress

Jessica Biel, "Playing for Keeps," "Total Recall"
Brooklyn Decker, "Battleship," "What to Expect When You're Expecting"
Ashley Greene, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
Jennifer Lopez, "What to Expect When You're Expecting"
Rihanna, "Battleship"

Worst Supporting Actor

David Hasselhoff, "Piranha 3D"
Taylor Lautner, "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
Liam Neeson, "Battleship," "Wrath of the Titans"
Nick Swardson, "That's My Boy"
Vanilla Ice, "That's My Boy"

Worst Screen Ensemble

"Battleship"
"The Oogieloves in the Balloon Adventure"
"That's My Boy"
"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
"Madea's Witness Protection"

Worst Screenplay

"Atlas Shrugged: Part 2"
"Battleship"
"That's My Boy"
"A Thousand Words"
"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"

Worst Remake, Rip-off or Sequel

"Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance"
"Piranha 3D"
"Red Dawn"
"The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
"Madea's Witness Protection"

Worst Screen Couple

Any two cast members from "The Jersey Shore" in "The Three Stooges"
Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner in "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in "The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2"
Tyler Perry and his drag in "Madea's Witness Protection"
Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester or Susan Sarandon in "That's My Boy"

 

Comments (11) RSS

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Dougsf 1
The market has spoken!
Posted by Dougsf on January 9, 2013 at 1:47 PM · Report this
2
You know, I know that Spike Lee hates him, accusing him of perpetuating black stereotypes, but I'd by lying if I told you that I've never laughed myself silly watching Madea movies.
Posted by floater on January 9, 2013 at 1:54 PM · Report this
Zebes 3
Ha ha ha! Twilight jokes! Jokes about Twilight! Ha ha ha ha!
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on January 9, 2013 at 1:57 PM · Report this
4
I don't care what anybody says, Battleship was a GREAT FUCKING FILM! It was not art film, but awesomely fun movie it was nonetheless.
Posted by scratchmaster joe on January 9, 2013 at 2:00 PM · Report this
5
As far as I'm concerned, the worst movie of the year was Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. What a heaping pile of shit that movie was.
Posted by Conrad McMasters on January 9, 2013 at 2:02 PM · Report this
Dougsf 6
@2 - I've never seen a Medea film, but I found myself in the position of having a few hours to kill while stuck in sleepy suburb a few weeks ago, and wouldn't you know it there's a dollar theater right there and Alex Cross is just starting.

It wasn't good—and I can't say whether the film even really accomplished its own goals or not—but Tyler Perry was surprisingly convincing in his portrayal of an average joe/flawed supercop type guy.
Posted by Dougsf on January 9, 2013 at 2:15 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 7
It's kind of low-hanging fruit, basically the movies you would expect. What I would like to see is an awards ceremony for the best performances and technical achievements in the worst movies. I was thinking about it after I saw a clip from the Super Mario movie where John Leguizamo and the female lead had to emote in front of a pile of goo. That is a seriously amazing acting achievement, and they really deserved some sort of accolade for it.
Posted by keshmeshi on January 9, 2013 at 2:55 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 8
I'm surprised Total Recall isn't up for the remake category. I regretted watching that so much.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on January 9, 2013 at 3:53 PM · Report this
Knat 9
If the films' Rotten Tomatoes score is any indication, the "Worst Film" category is a two-horse race.

The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure - 29%
Battleship - 33%
A Thousand Words - 0%
That's My Boy - 5%
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 - 48%
Posted by Knat on January 9, 2013 at 4:03 PM · Report this
Mike Force 10
Shouldn't a movie have to bomb at the box office AND be terrible to "win" a razzie? It should be universal rejection.
Posted by Mike Force http://www.autotone.net on January 9, 2013 at 4:27 PM · Report this
Free Lunch 11
Paul: that should be Piranha 3DD, which came out in 2012 and was terrible, not Piranha 3D, which came out in 2010, and was actually a pretty fun sequel.

(The double Ds in the 2012 movie apparently refer to the buxom woman on the movie poster.)
Posted by Free Lunch on January 9, 2013 at 6:44 PM · Report this

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