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Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The New Year Morning News

Posted by on Tue, Jan 1, 2013 at 9:12 AM

Happy New Year. Time met its midnight deadline for transitioning into the new year, because time is a relentless fucker.

Unhappy New Year. At least 61 people were killed in a stampede following New Year's fireworks in Abidjan, Ivory Coast.

Happy fiscal cliff. The US Senate overwhelmingly approved a "fiscal cliff" deal, 89-8, two hours past the midnight deadline, but the House won't meet until noon today. The eight senators voting "no" were curiously bipartisan.

Unhappy pediatricians. The 60,000-member strong American Academy of Pediatricians is calling for stronger federal gun laws, including a ban on assault weapons and high-capacity magazines, and closing the "gun show loophole." In some states, it's actually illegal for a pediatrician to ask a patient if there is a gun in the house.

Happy Hillary. Doctors expect Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to make a full recovery from the blood clot in her head, but her presidential ambitions may be permanently damaged.

Happy... oh... honestly, that's just gross. Shriveled 86-year-old playboy Hugh Hefner married 26-year-old playmate Crystal Harris in a New Year's Eve ceremony.

And finally (via Atrios), the Mummers Parade. Oh how I sometimes miss Philadelphia.

 

Comments (47) RSS

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Will in Seattle 47
@31, @40, @41, @42 still say Chelsea Clinton has a better chance.

Fnarf @45 for the New Years win.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 2, 2013 at 11:01 AM · Report this
Matt the Engineer 46
Is "curiously bipartisan" different than bipartisan curious?
Posted by Matt the Engineer on January 1, 2013 at 11:09 PM · Report this
Fnarf 45
Clinton's not going to run. You can quote me on that. She's too old and health concerns do matter.

Good thing, too. The Republicans are going to run a vibrant young person, or a semi-plausible simulacrum of one, and youth and energy will win. The Dems need to find someone between ~45-55, with a little leeway on the young side for a noticeably fresh bombshell candidate, a Kennedy -- any of which who existed would already be known -- and they are not.

Don't get me wrong; I think Clinton is a great public servant. She would have plenty of energy to continue in the Senate, if she were still there. She could even be a president; but she can't RUN for president, which is a different, and much, much harder, job.

Get somebody better. Start now. Start two years ago.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on January 1, 2013 at 11:00 PM · Report this
44
@1: There's no romance, it's more like a Tom Cruise and his latest starlet's contractual marriage. For sad/gross/horrific PR purposes.
Posted by you give HH too much credit on January 1, 2013 at 8:23 PM · Report this
43
I was in a band that accompanied a Fancy Division club in the Mummers Parade when I was 18 and 19. It was a lot of fun. Much more than I ever had watching the parade.
Posted by Mike OC on January 1, 2013 at 6:16 PM · Report this
Sandiai 42
@40, she's already lived in the White House.

Posted by Sandiai on January 1, 2013 at 5:21 PM · Report this
Sandiai 41
@32 Also, Quayle.

Hilary Clinton is the most traveled secretary of state in history, having visited 112 countries while in the job.

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Foreign-Pol…

The clot is entirely benign, people, and thank goodness. I think Secretary Clinton looks really good for her age. She's just greying is all, which is what happens to men and women both. It's just that men are allowed to walk around in public with grey hair and wrinkly skin and women are not.* Still, her choice of a vice-president might be crucial.

@42 and she's already lived in the White House.

(*I'm being hyperbolic for effect. I don't think the nice people here are being particulary sexist about her run for the presidency.)
Posted by Sandiai on January 1, 2013 at 5:18 PM · Report this
MrBaker 40
She has foreign policy experience in her current job, domestic policy experience in her former job in the senate.
It will be tough for the Republicans to run a viable and competitive candidate that can match that.
Posted by MrBaker http://manywordsforrain.blogspot.com/ on January 1, 2013 at 4:19 PM · Report this
MrBaker 39
Women live longer, age should be less of an issue.

@32, get to know the difference.
Posted by MrBaker http://manywordsforrain.blogspot.com/ on January 1, 2013 at 4:16 PM · Report this
zivilisierter Wurm 38
@37 Not a doctor, but I believe it's a vein on the surface of the brain, but within the skull? At any rate don't get me wrong - I think Dave Reichert's a witless meathead, but that isn't a medical phenomenon. Speculating on folks' health difficulties is cheap politics and generally poor taste - it's hypocritical to assume that should only apply to people we like.
Posted by zivilisierter Wurm http://peregrinari.tumblr.com/ on January 1, 2013 at 3:37 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 37
My understanding is that the blood clot is outside of Hillary Clinton's brain, behind her ear. It can be treated with medication and does not require surgery. I can't see Democrats not voting for her because of an issue like that. It's not like she had a stroke or something.
Posted by Gern Blanston on January 1, 2013 at 3:01 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 36
The issue isn't about the appropriateness of the discussion, but the thinking behind why politicians feel it's important to make it illegal. Pretty much everyone from Team Rape craps their diapers every time someone criticizes their "ideas" or suggests that their insane rantings shouldn't be put on television, screaming about Freedom of Speech & how persecuted they are. And then they make laws which are clearly violating that same right.

Another fine example that, although liberals and progressives may not be brilliant or have all the answers, at least they're not insane & they've matured past the toddler stage.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 1, 2013 at 2:25 PM · Report this
35
Clinton doesn't have a cerebral hemorrhage.

However, she would be 69 when sworn in, and as someone said, age and health do matter. Anything to do with the brain doesn't help perception, full recovery or not.
Posted by sarah70 on January 1, 2013 at 2:22 PM · Report this
zivilisierter Wurm 34
I dunno Goldy, after all the shit you gave Dave Reichert questioning his ability serve as a legislator after he developed a cerebral hemorrhage, it's a little rich jumping to the defense of Hillary...
Posted by zivilisierter Wurm http://peregrinari.tumblr.com/ on January 1, 2013 at 1:55 PM · Report this
33
23

Maryland!

yeah. this one is totally ripe for the maggots.....

In 1990 there were 9.7 marriages per 1000 people.

46,300 marriages.

Twenty years later?

Down. Over FORTY PERCENT....

To 5.8 per 1000.

Maryland is missing 14,000 marriages a year.

But, let Danny assure you; Marriage is Alive and Well !

Rainbows and Unicorns and all.......
Posted by If Danny says it It Must Be True. right? on January 1, 2013 at 1:53 PM · Report this
32
"People do not want to worry that their president will drop dead in office."

Because, Palin.
Posted by originalcinner on January 1, 2013 at 1:46 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 31
@ 29, check out how a candidate's age and health (both perception and reality) historically affect their chances of winning elections. There's a proven correlation. People do not want to worry that their president will drop dead in office.
Posted by Matt from Denver on January 1, 2013 at 1:44 PM · Report this
30
My new year's resolution: not to read the unregistered comments. If they can't be bothered to register, I can't be bothered to read their bloviating.
Posted by originalcinner on January 1, 2013 at 1:44 PM · Report this
29
Are you suggesting that's why McCain lost - skin cancer? You'd probably be the first.
Posted by ian on January 1, 2013 at 1:24 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 28
@26: I'm invoking Poe's Law on this one.
Posted by aureolaborealis on January 1, 2013 at 1:23 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 27
@15: I lived in Center City for a few years on Spruce, then Sansom. Every couple of years or so it was "Hey! Mummers Parade! Let's!" followed by the sad realization that it was still mostly a drunken, inept invasion by north Philly rednecks.
You think it's gonna be some kind of American Carnival, but it's just angry-drunk Rush Limbaugh in a cheap dress.
Posted by aureolaborealis on January 1, 2013 at 1:17 PM · Report this
26
We know this guy.

He has a job. He makes $48,800 a year.

He ought to be able to get by on that.

But he spent $70,800 last year.

He ran up $22,000 on a credit card. In one year. Idiot.

The kicker? He has done that for four years running.

Put about $25,000 a year on a credit card.
On a salary of $48,000.

And he was in debt when his four year spree began.

His total credit card debt is over $325,000.
And he makes $48,000 a year.

The double kicker? He doesn't care. He plans to do it again this year.

Sure. He plays lip service to getting real about his budget.

Plans to hit his grandmother for some money.
He says she's rich and she owes him.
Because she is rich.

He's been nagging her for months. He wants three grand from her.

He says if the stingy bitch will cough up the dough he'll be OK.

$3000. That's his plan.

What a moron.

Would you hire this Mooch to run your country?

You did.
Posted by What a moron. on January 1, 2013 at 1:10 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 25
@21: What part of "pediatrician" says "teenager" to you?
If you really don't know how to lock a gun up in a way that it's accessible for self-defense, I can only infer that you are not very knowledgable on the subject. But you've sort of accidentally identified that the issue is how strategies should change as the kiddoes get older.
I also infer that your larger, unspoken point (it wouldn't be concern trolling if you actually said what your point was, right?) is that there is no responsible way to own guns. Am I close?
Posted by aureolaborealis on January 1, 2013 at 12:59 PM · Report this
Goldy 24
@15 I said I sometimes miss Philadelphia. Didn't specify exactly what I miss.

@19 Really? That didn't stop President McCain?
Posted by Goldy on January 1, 2013 at 12:57 PM · Report this
passionate_jus 23
Don't forget this awesome news as well -- marriage equality is now legal in Maryland.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/natio…
Posted by passionate_jus on January 1, 2013 at 12:55 PM · Report this
NotSean 22
@8,@16 Yeah, seems sensible and no more intrusive than any other well-intentioned, unsolicited, sometimes helpful, words of caution we often get from our Drs.

...except this is Uhmericuh, and the know-it-all, Ivy-class Drs referred to guns as dangerous, so we gotta squelch that... ...cause, if you really want to stop gun violence in the home, you need to get more guns in the home, and more gun education, and hire a security guard to protect the childrens' room... amirite?

My 2013 resolution: I'm not letting this gun-violence shit go.
Posted by NotSean on January 1, 2013 at 12:29 PM · Report this
21
@16:

coupla questions.

1.if you lock up your guns, how do they help you in the home invasion scenario? say the intruder is in your bedroom. your guns won't help you if they're locked up. right?
2. how do you "safely" lock them up when most teenage kids know where you keep your gun safe keys, and you don't lock up the keys?
3. do you know who all of your teenagers' friends are? if so, you are an unusual parent. how do you know your teenager's druggy pals won't pressure him to get the key?

4. assuming you safely deal with all this, do you see how letting the average joe do this creates a large risk of legal guns, becoming illegal guns?
Posted by responsible owner: questions on January 1, 2013 at 12:20 PM · Report this
20
@8, that's exactly it. Asking about gun safety in a household with guns is, to me (not a gun owner), the same as asking about cleaning supply storage or other childproofing.
Posted by LMcGuff http://holyoutlaw.livejournal.com/ on January 1, 2013 at 12:16 PM · Report this
19
Hillary Clinton had a blood clot specifically from hitting her head, correct? If so, how are her Presidential hopes ended? John McCain has had recurrent skin cancer and that didn't stop him.
Posted by hal on January 1, 2013 at 12:05 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 18
The Mummers parade always seems more fun in theory than in practice. It's always a little more racist and a lot less skillful than I think it's going to be.
Posted by aureolaborealis on January 1, 2013 at 12:03 PM · Report this
17
#4 - what makes Hugh Hefner reprehensible, exactly? The fact that he's old and wealthy and enjoys the company of young, beautiful (usually not my type, but he seems to like 'em) women? Hugh was a very progressive voice throughout the sixties and seventies, was a prominent supporter of women's rights, civil rights, and the anti-Vietnam war movement, has consistently fought against censorship of all types. As far as I know he's never been accused of doing anything particularly terrible to anyone. He's a cool, eccentric old guy who likes big titties. Why is he reprehensible?
Posted by catsnbanjos on January 1, 2013 at 12:03 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 16
Our pediatrician asks about gun storage in our home at pretty much every visit. We have quite a few guns, and not only am I not bothered, I appreciate the reminder to review our situation every few months.
I think it's safe to say that we're a bit more safety conscious than most gun owners.
Posted by aureolaborealis on January 1, 2013 at 11:51 AM · Report this
attitude devant 15
11, we may be related.

Goldy, I don't miss the Mummers at all. I used to live at 15th and Spruce, and stepping around drunk mummers on my stoop was one of my least favorite New Years' events. Sometimes they'd rouse enough to grab passing women and give them slobbery beery kisses. Still disgusting to remember 30 years later.....
Posted by attitude devant on January 1, 2013 at 11:24 AM · Report this
14
1. if we didn't fall when going over it, it wasn't a fiscal cliff was it.
2. oddly the dems and obama have now accepted and proclaimed wisdom of 89% of the bush Tax Cuts.
3. This helps move us to the right, as it permanently defunds government.
4. it sets us up for more attacks on programs.
5. again the gop used hostage taking -- yes, we have to do this to get the unemployment extended and so on. wow. so those making under $450K but above $250K are protected, while those on unemployment get a one year extension. talk about serving the rich! and cap gains aren't even equal to what rate warren's secretary pays on her wage income.
Posted by how one percent win on January 1, 2013 at 11:17 AM · Report this
MrBaker 13
And here are the Editorials the Seattle Time may have already written for 2013.

http://seattletimes.com/html/editorials/…
Posted by MrBaker http://manywordsforrain.blogspot.com/ on January 1, 2013 at 10:58 AM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 12

A clot in the Secretary's brain? General, we now have the technology to fix that. First assemble a team of four expect scientists, one English and bald, another with gigantic knockers. Then put them in our most advanced submarine. Use the Reducing Ray to shrink them down, and then... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3o8vsU0Dw…
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on January 1, 2013 at 10:56 AM · Report this
rob! 11
Since the offerings are a little sparse this morning, I'll just throw out that today is the quasquicentennial of the crescendo of the Hatfield-McCoy feud, the New Year's Massacre. Recently found artifacts will be discussed in an upcoming episode of the National Geographic Channel "Diggers" series.

Also: youtu.be/vtkflEaeGjo
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on January 1, 2013 at 10:53 AM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 10
#1

If you were making insults like that about two guys getting married Dan would be Google carpet bombing you.

Symmetrical age marriage is unnatural.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on January 1, 2013 at 10:53 AM · Report this
Gern Blanston 9
Since Hillary Clinton is supposed to make a full recovery from the blood clot, I don't see how her presidential ambitions would be "permanently damaged." She's still my candidate of choice.
Posted by Gern Blanston on January 1, 2013 at 10:29 AM · Report this
quix 8
@3 &@7: But don't pediatricians discuss other child-proofing issues (household chemicals locked up/out of reach, electrical outlets covered, etc.) with their patients' parents? Is it really so out of line that, in the course of such a discussion, they might raise the issue of whether there were any guns in the house and, if so, were they secured sufficiently to prevent little Johnny from accidentally blowing his own head off?
Posted by quix on January 1, 2013 at 10:22 AM · Report this
NotSean 7
@3 Yeah, it's a little odd for a pediatrician to discuss guns during a checkup. I'd like to think there might, at times, be good reason.

Maybe, it was a campaign for general awareness of gun safety practices.

It's so much odder - and pure asshattery - that the legislature/NRA pawns should think it necessary to make the discussion illegal ( and, seems to me, unconstitutional )

As for mental health...
I am sure many pediatricians would ask a parent about seeing a mental health professional if the parent showed signs of such an issue.

Posted by NotSean on January 1, 2013 at 10:10 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 6
@5 Viagra sucks. Try Muse (tm). Shits da bomb!
Posted by Pope Peabrain on January 1, 2013 at 10:01 AM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 5
Hell, if I had Hef's money (and the unlimited access to Viagra he seems to have), I'd marry any cute 26-year-old who would have me. Can't blame him for that.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty http://www.nra.org on January 1, 2013 at 9:55 AM · Report this
4
Hugh H. is one the more reprehensible humans on the planet. Among many other reasons, he's a guy who's spent most of his life wearing pajamas and a bathrobe.
Posted by onalki on January 1, 2013 at 9:53 AM · Report this
3
I'd be creeped out by doctors asking me about guns too, especially if I was going in for anything not related to mental health care (you know, that topic that we should be discussing but aren't, because guns.).
Posted by suddenlyorcas on January 1, 2013 at 9:50 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 2
I couldn't imagine marrying a 26 year old today, and I'm still not half as old as Hef. But then again, I think I've been married to my wife longer than Hef was to any of his.
Posted by Matt from Denver on January 1, 2013 at 9:43 AM · Report this
Bauhaus I 1
It's very easy to look at the Hefner/Harris marriage with an arched eyebrow and a silent, "Well...I know what's going on there," swirling around the brain. Dirty old man. Gold digger. But really, it kind of meets Dan's criteria for May/December romance:

1) Don't capitalize on the aged wisdom you've acquired learning to play the game to use, abuse, and then throw away the younger, more tender partner. (He's marrying her - not Viagra-sportfucking her.) And,

2) Always leave them in better shape than you found them. (California is a community property state. She gets half and probably more than that when he dies.)

So, if the old fool wants to honk yet another set of 26-year-old boobs, and she has no objections, then who am I to question, right?
Posted by Bauhaus I on January 1, 2013 at 9:35 AM · Report this

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