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Sunday, December 30, 2012

Slog Bible Study: Job 3:2

Posted by on Sun, Dec 30, 2012 at 6:00 AM

Job 3:2
He said:



Comments (27) RSS

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Cato the Younger Younger 1
Seems like the Holy of Holies editor missed something there
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on December 30, 2012 at 7:22 AM · Report this
As David Plotz said in his book "Good Book" Anyone who says someone has the patience of Job probably has never read Job. the guy complains non-stop.
Posted by aml on December 30, 2012 at 7:28 AM · Report this
Foghorn Leghorn 3
"Plaaaaay the best sonnng in the world....Or I'll eat your soul!"
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn on December 30, 2012 at 7:36 AM · Report this
That's why the King James is always the way to go:
"And Job spake, and said,"
So much richer.

Posted by Nate Dogg on December 30, 2012 at 7:40 AM · Report this
5 Comment Pulled
Tacoma Traveler 6

Spake just sounds so dirty. Did he spake into a towel? on the lord's face? In the divine ass?
Posted by Tacoma Traveler on December 30, 2012 at 8:23 AM · Report this
Cracker Jack 7
He said, he said.... so paternalistic....
Posted by Cracker Jack on December 30, 2012 at 8:36 AM · Report this

Read Job 3:3 to find out!
Posted by Nate Dogg on December 30, 2012 at 8:40 AM · Report this
NotSean 9
The wonder of it all, baby
The wonder of it all, baby
The wonder of it all, baby
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Posted by NotSean on December 30, 2012 at 8:46 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 10
Now I remember why I used to hate getting out of bed and going to church. Vapid nonsense.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on December 30, 2012 at 8:57 AM · Report this
This is an excellent example of why quoting a single line of "scripture" out of context is entirely devoid of intellectual integrity. Bible-thumpers do it all the time, of course. I've never understood their assertion of the essential independent holiness of every word in "The Book." If anything, they're entirely missing whatever point(s) or observation(s) the ancient philosophers/chroniclers/ascetics were trying to make.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on December 30, 2012 at 9:06 AM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 12
She said?
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on December 30, 2012 at 9:36 AM · Report this
Job 3:3 says he said, "I wish I'd never been conceived". For the curious who can't be bothered to look it up.

I wish he'd never been conceived, too. Petulant whiner.
Posted by originalcinner on December 30, 2012 at 9:48 AM · Report this
tedb310 14
As a previous commenter said King James is richer:

3 Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived.

Goldy, you've got one of those boring modern versions of the bible.
Posted by tedb310 on December 30, 2012 at 9:55 AM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 15
"He said: He did not. He did too. No, he did not. Did too, neener neener. Bitch."
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on December 30, 2012 at 10:44 AM · Report this
Posted by high and bi on December 30, 2012 at 11:47 AM · Report this
venomlash 17
If you read the rest of Job 3, he's cussing out his birthday because he's so dark and disturbed. Now THAT's what I call EDGY.
Posted by venomlash on December 30, 2012 at 2:53 PM · Report this
sirkowski 18
God letting Satan got nuts to prove a point is very 90s grimdark anti-hero. It's like Batman freeing The Joker so Gotham can remember why they need Batman. Or Micheal Bay's Transformers where the Autobots fake leaving Earth and dying to let the Decepticons murder an entire city and prove they can't be trusted.
Posted by sirkowski on December 30, 2012 at 5:53 PM · Report this
Excellent verse that much can be disclosed about spiritual truth. It is "he" that speaks and therefore "said" and is proof why only men can become true priests and ministers within any religion. It is vitally important to have the God approved vital organs to speak for God or disclose His wisdom. Therefore a priest or minister must have a penis and an intact pair of testicles appropriately enclosed within a scrotum. All parts must be healthy and capable of all blessed functions. They must be free of any neoplasms or other diseases. Therefore a man with a vasectomy or prostatectomy is a less preferred candidate for the clergy. During the annual physical exam of ministers and priests it is highly advised that genital health assessments be disclosed to elders or other clerical advisory boards for renewal or retirement of pastoral obligations. Marital fidelity is preferred but not required since it is also mandated to be "fruitful and multiply".
Posted by Juan Alfredo on December 30, 2012 at 8:12 PM · Report this
seatackled 20
I want to see Job 3:2 signs appearing in the end zone seats at football games.
Posted by seatackled on December 30, 2012 at 8:57 PM · Report this
She said:
Ooooo! It feel so goood!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo woo eeeeeyahhhh!

Posted by sall on December 30, 2012 at 9:04 PM · Report this
Here it is, traight from the Kethuvim (the writings), not the namby-pamby King James, because Job was a Jew; in fact, the quintessential kvetching Jew:

Perish the day on which I was born
and the night it was announced,
"A male has been conceived!"
May that day be darkness;
may God above have no concern for it;
may light not shine on it;
may darkness and deep gloom reclaim it;
may a pall be over it;
may what blackens the day terrify it;
may obscurity carry off that night;
may it not be counted among the days of the year;
may it not appear in any of its months;
may that night be desolate;
may no sound of joy be heard in it;
may those who cast spells upon the day damn it;
those prepared to disable Leviathan;
may its twilight stars remain dark;
may it hope for light and have none;
may it not see the glimmerings of the dawn;
because it did not block my mother's womb,
and hide trouble from my eyes.
Why did I not die at birth,
expire as I came forth from the womb?

He goes on.

Posted by sarah70 on December 30, 2012 at 10:52 PM · Report this
Goldy 23
@20 Exactly.
Posted by Goldy on December 31, 2012 at 12:09 AM · Report this
Everybody knows that GOB said: C'MON!
Posted by rutabaga pie on December 31, 2012 at 1:02 AM · Report this
... but later in the book, the townfolk get together to bail out Job's Saving and Loan, an angel gets his wings, and they all have a wonderful Xmas.
Posted by RonK, Seattle on December 31, 2012 at 11:50 AM · Report this
...can't find my Harborcoat...can't go outside without it...
Posted by HOT PUSSY on December 31, 2012 at 12:43 PM · Report this
The story of Job is one of the reasons I'm an atheist.
Posted by Largocantrememberwhichemailiused on January 1, 2013 at 11:08 AM · Report this

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