Slog
News & ArtsSunday, December 30, 2012
2
As David Plotz said in his book "Good Book" Anyone who says someone has the patience of Job probably has never read Job. the guy complains non-stop.
11
This is an excellent example of why quoting a single line of "scripture" out of context is entirely devoid of intellectual integrity. Bible-thumpers do it all the time, of course. I've never understood their assertion of the essential independent holiness of every word in "The Book." If anything, they're entirely missing whatever point(s) or observation(s) the ancient philosophers/chroniclers/ascetics were trying to make.
13
Job 3:3 says he said, "I wish I'd never been conceived". For the curious who can't be bothered to look it up.
I wish he'd never been conceived, too. Petulant whiner.
I wish he'd never been conceived, too. Petulant whiner.
14
As a previous commenter said King James is richer:
3 Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived.
Goldy, you've got one of those boring modern versions of the bible.
3 Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night in which it was said, There is a man child conceived.
Goldy, you've got one of those boring modern versions of the bible.
17
If you read the rest of Job 3, he's cussing out his birthday because he's so dark and disturbed. Now THAT's what I call EDGY.
18
God letting Satan got nuts to prove a point is very 90s grimdark anti-hero. It's like Batman freeing The Joker so Gotham can remember why they need Batman. Or Micheal Bay's Transformers where the Autobots fake leaving Earth and dying to let the Decepticons murder an entire city and prove they can't be trusted.
19
Excellent verse that much can be disclosed about spiritual truth. It is "he" that speaks and therefore "said" and is proof why only men can become true priests and ministers within any religion. It is vitally important to have the God approved vital organs to speak for God or disclose His wisdom. Therefore a priest or minister must have a penis and an intact pair of testicles appropriately enclosed within a scrotum. All parts must be healthy and capable of all blessed functions. They must be free of any neoplasms or other diseases. Therefore a man with a vasectomy or prostatectomy is a less preferred candidate for the clergy. During the annual physical exam of ministers and priests it is highly advised that genital health assessments be disclosed to elders or other clerical advisory boards for renewal or retirement of pastoral obligations. Marital fidelity is preferred but not required since it is also mandated to be "fruitful and multiply".
21
She said:
Ooooo! It feel so goood!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo woo eeeeeyahhhh!
Ooooo! It feel so goood!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo ee ah ah!
Woo woo eeeeeyahhhh!
22
Here it is, traight from the Kethuvim (the writings), not the namby-pamby King James, because Job was a Jew; in fact, the quintessential kvetching Jew:
Perish the day on which I was born
and the night it was announced,
"A male has been conceived!"
May that day be darkness;
may God above have no concern for it;
may light not shine on it;
may darkness and deep gloom reclaim it;
may a pall be over it;
may what blackens the day terrify it;
may obscurity carry off that night;
may it not be counted among the days of the year;
may it not appear in any of its months;
may that night be desolate;
may no sound of joy be heard in it;
may those who cast spells upon the day damn it;
those prepared to disable Leviathan;
may its twilight stars remain dark;
may it hope for light and have none;
may it not see the glimmerings of the dawn;
because it did not block my mother's womb,
and hide trouble from my eyes.
Why did I not die at birth,
expire as I came forth from the womb?
He goes on.
Perish the day on which I was born
and the night it was announced,
"A male has been conceived!"
May that day be darkness;
may God above have no concern for it;
may light not shine on it;
may darkness and deep gloom reclaim it;
may a pall be over it;
may what blackens the day terrify it;
may obscurity carry off that night;
may it not be counted among the days of the year;
may it not appear in any of its months;
may that night be desolate;
may no sound of joy be heard in it;
may those who cast spells upon the day damn it;
those prepared to disable Leviathan;
may its twilight stars remain dark;
may it hope for light and have none;
may it not see the glimmerings of the dawn;
because it did not block my mother's womb,
and hide trouble from my eyes.
Why did I not die at birth,
expire as I came forth from the womb?
He goes on.
25
... but later in the book, the townfolk get together to bail out Job's Saving and Loan, an angel gets his wings, and they all have a wonderful Xmas.
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