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Thursday, December 20, 2012

THIS SANTA IS A GODDAMNED FAKE!!!

Posted by on Thu, Dec 20, 2012 at 3:30 PM

Fox News continues their extremely important and oh-so-necessary coverage of the "War on Christmas™"—because, you know, everybody hates Christmas so much they want to fire Scud missiles at it—with this interview of "Santa Claus," which I'm putting in quotes because he's a goddamn FAKE!!! The real Santa would never, ever, EVER lower himself to either appear on this show or politicize his mission, and so instead of a "War on Christmas" I'm declaring war on this goddamn fake of a fraud Santa!! DOWN WITH FAKE SANTA!!!

BOOOOOOOOOOO, FAKE SANTA!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Where did I put my Scud missiles?)

 

Comments (18) RSS

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18
How the fuck can you all calmly discuss this totally run of the mill bullshit propaganda on Fox News without anyone mentioning the teal and purple high-caliber butt plugs over Steve Doocy's shoulders.

Holy fuck!
Posted by No Wonder They Can Output Such A Huge Stream Of Shit on December 21, 2012 at 9:00 AM · Report this
jp 17
He smells like beef and cheese!
Posted by jp http://vegetablecow.wordpress.com on December 21, 2012 at 8:09 AM · Report this
Laurence Ballard 16
@6
Thank you. I was just having this conversation the other day. "What about the War on Advent?" If Christmas is at war, it's winning. It annexed Thanksgiving this year, and the fruitcakes have their sights on Halloween.
Posted by Laurence Ballard http://laurenceballard.com on December 21, 2012 at 7:40 AM · Report this
Fnarf 15
@11, Christmas without Jews is like...I don't even want to think about it.

@13, Sammy Davis, Jr. too -- no album, but a few very choice singles.

@14, you will die in a terrible fire.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on December 21, 2012 at 6:22 AM · Report this
14 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
13
@11 Bette Midler, Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond have all recorded Christmas albums, too!
Posted by Clayton on December 21, 2012 at 5:10 AM · Report this
12
Happy Holidays, y'all.

Especially you Faux Noise crazies.

Why don't those of us on the Left simply ignore these yearly, endless whining fests about the "war on Christmas"? It's gotten stale now.

Posted by Patricia Kayden on December 21, 2012 at 4:22 AM · Report this
venomlash 11
@6: You know that Christmas music isn't really Christian because so much of it was written by Jews.
Posted by venomlash on December 21, 2012 at 12:53 AM · Report this
TreGibbs 10
Stupid, stupid assholes. This supposed "War on Christmas" - you know, this fictitious, non-event made up and peddled by FOXNews ONLY, is total B.S. for a number of reasons:
1) Santa is a SECULAR figure ! Unless Mary gave birth to Santa and not Jesus - who knows what the evangelical community is worshiping these days...
2) The term "Happy Holidays" was used so people didn't have to say, "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year" - you know since they happen a week apart from each other...
3) most importantly - anyone who thinks saying Happy Holidays is too inclusive (how dare we!) and goes against God is just simply etymologically challenged - "Holiday" is derived from "Holy Day" - a DIRECT reference to God and religion.

SCREW THESE A-HOLES !! Why are they getting away with this sham??
Posted by TreGibbs on December 20, 2012 at 10:23 PM · Report this
9
"There was a time a few years back when, suddenly, I was showing up at Christmas parties, and I was told they were having a Holiday party, and, so, therefore, they didn't need a Santa anymore."

Is this guy just going around to random Christmas/Holiday parties and walking in?
Posted by Tis' the Season on December 20, 2012 at 8:58 PM · Report this
8
@7 What Teslik said!

"This is a house of lies!"
Posted by cracked on December 20, 2012 at 7:18 PM · Report this
Teslick 7
This Santa sits on a throne of lies!
Posted by Teslick on December 20, 2012 at 5:42 PM · Report this
Fnarf 6
You want to know the real crime in the War on Christmas? Christmas music. And Christmas decorations. All before Christmas! That's totally inappropriate. Traditionally, Christmas carols were only sung ON CHRISTMAS EVE, which is the beginning of Christmas, which runs from Christmas Day until Epiphany on January 6th (remember the "twelve days of Christmas"? These are they). The period we are in now is called "Advent" (hence the calendars) NOT CHRISTMAS.

Fox News and Bill O'Reilly know fuck-all about Traditional Christianity.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on December 20, 2012 at 4:32 PM · Report this
--MC 5
Santa is as PC as they come. He says he's only going to give toys and gifts to the good kids but come the day, everybody gets a gift anyway.
Posted by --MC on December 20, 2012 at 4:21 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 4
Was that Santa or the World Wrestling Champion?

*his belt buckle is larger than Steve Doocy's brain*
Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 20, 2012 at 4:18 PM · Report this
theophrastus 3
it's just a wee-bit soon to be jesting about scud missiles with them currently raining down on folks in Syria, isn't it? but yes: Fox news bad. yet somehow the article needs more repetitive usage of "fuck" in it.
Posted by theophrastus on December 20, 2012 at 4:14 PM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 2
Christmas is a national holiday signed by President Grant I believe. So, in a secular sense, "Merry Christmas" should never be politically incorrect.
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on December 20, 2012 at 4:01 PM · Report this
1
Christmas is about as anti-christian as it gets. Any devout christian would support a war on the commercialized version of christmas. Except they wouldn't support war.
Posted by michael bell on December 20, 2012 at 3:56 PM · Report this

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