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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Crime Robbery at the Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve

Posted by Eli Sanders on Thu, Dec 20, 2012 at 10:00 AM

The thieves took 6 million pounds of smooth Canadian sweetness, worth $18 million, and raised an important question:

The question is what was more unusual: that the commodity in question was maple syrup, or that it came from something called the global strategic maple syrup reserve, run by what amounts to a Canadian cartel.

Arrests have been made, and the global syrup supply appears safe for now.

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First you get the syrup,
Then you get the power,
Then you get the women.

Posted by Lionel Hutz Esq. on December 20, 2012 at 9:34 PM

In a related story, Canada has a Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve.

Posted by rainbird on December 20, 2012 at 1:55 PM

Only $3 a pound?!? Why is it like triple that in the supermarket? That's an outrageous mark-up. This price-gouging must end!

Posted by Brooklyn Reader on December 20, 2012 at 12:03 PM

C'mon New England, "Drill baby drill!" Show the Canadians who's boss.

Posted by brian on December 20, 2012 at 11:56 AM

The syrup trade is dangerous and attracts a criminal element from across the border. We need to declare a war on syrup and set fire to any maple fields we find being grown in secret. For the children.

Posted by MacCrocodile

on December 20, 2012 at 11:50 AM

@2: there hasn't been an ounce of real maple syrup in an IHOP in 50 years.

Posted by Max Solomon on December 20, 2012 at 11:31 AM

The syrup must flow.

Posted by DVNODVNO on December 20, 2012 at 11:09 AM

The shadowy cartel is actually headed by IHOP CEO, Julia Stewart. It's the only way they can afford their all you can eat pancake deals because the accountants forget to calculate in the cost of syrup

Posted by Pick1 on December 20, 2012 at 10:50 AM

There's a maple syrup reserve for the dual reason of market manipulation (as is usually the case), plus the practical reason that with respect to global warming and temperature fluctuation, maple syrup has been steadily increasing in price due to lower quantity.

Obvious, almost everything is run by the Cartels today, and any Pulitzer Prize-winning individual should most definitely understand that by this time!

(You just don't know who is behind the cartels, that's all.)

http://www.jayhanson.us/page134.htm

http://petras.lahaine.org/?p=1689

Posted by sgt_doom on December 20, 2012 at 10:19 AM