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Monday, December 17, 2012

Midmorning News

Posted by on Mon, Dec 17, 2012 at 11:27 AM

North Korean Satellite Now a Piece of Space Junk: The satellite is most likely dead, experts say.

The Singularity! IBM predicts computers will be able to smell, taste, and hear within the next five years.

How Many Trolls Would a Troll Troll If a Troll Could Troll Troll? This troll may be in non-anonymous real world trouble for his antics in Sedro Woolley.

American Humans Coming to Senses: A majority of people now believe that these horrific events that keep happening, are happening because of something really really wrong with our society. The jump has been in the double digits.

Taylor Bridge Wildfire Allegedly Sparked By Construction Workers: And now the fight over money begins.

Extreme Weather? Lots of people got that weird emergency alert yesterday, and now they're saying it could snow in the lowlands. I'll believe it when I see it.

Football: Pete Carroll apologized for the fake punt against the Bills and the Patriots fucking lost to Seahawks nemesis the 49ers.

Thieves Use Forklifts and Steal 7000 Wiis: "Could it have been Wario?"

Giant Dock Floating Toward Washington, Missing Still: The debris is suspected to originate in Japan and probably started its long float after the March 11, 2011 earthquake and ensuing tsunami.


Comments (17) RSS

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Cato the Younger Younger 1
Ah...did anyone get the cellphone Blizzard alert THIS MORNING at 4:30am?!?!? I wish it had been hit with it yesterday...
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on December 17, 2012 at 11:39 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 2
So we can expect our computers to come with noses, ears and tongues? Sounds unattractive.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on December 17, 2012 at 11:52 AM · Report this
dnt trust me 3
Dude, I just got up from a midmornig snooze.
Posted by dnt trust me on December 17, 2012 at 11:54 AM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 4
Sure, there's something wrong with society, but a lot of my Facebook friends from high school will tell you it's because God is not allowed in schools anymore, and that's why you need to buy a gun. Or something. Then they post a picture of Jesus holding a First Grader or Santa Clause crying.

Never underestimate the ability of the American Public to take exactly the wrong lesson from any national tragedy.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on December 17, 2012 at 11:58 AM · Report this
eclexia 5
"But professor, how would my computer smell?"
Posted by eclexia on December 17, 2012 at 11:59 AM · Report this
Will in Seattle 6
In better Troll news, the Fremont Troll is enjoying life under the Aurora Bridge.

Remember, buy local!
Posted by Will in Seattle on December 17, 2012 at 12:02 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 7
@4 is correct. I have seen so many of those.

Seriously, why does Santa need an AK-47 or MP5 to hunt Bambi?
Posted by Will in Seattle on December 17, 2012 at 12:03 PM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 8
@4: True, but I'm amused by the inference that you are exempt from the American public.
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on December 17, 2012 at 12:14 PM · Report this
Geni 9
It's pretty easy to turn those alerts off on an Android device. Just go to your messaging app, notifications, and look for emergency notifications. Un-check all except Presidential notifications (you'll still get notified when aliens land at the Pentagon).
Posted by Geni on December 17, 2012 at 12:18 PM · Report this
seatackled 10
So is there anything that can be done about the troll who hoped someone murders Goldy's kid two days ago? Technically not a threat, but still.
Posted by seatackled on December 17, 2012 at 12:20 PM · Report this

that wasn't The Troll.

who thinks being Goldy's kid is already a fate far worse than death.....
Posted by ctu6679ohyg89yf on December 17, 2012 at 12:37 PM · Report this
@1 Yes, got that too, and accidentally had the ringer on, too. Nothing like a 5 am siren wake up call for a blizzard across the state!
Posted by deign_to_say on December 17, 2012 at 1:26 PM · Report this
Simone 13
I didn't get an extreme weather warning text message. I feel left out.
Posted by Simone on December 17, 2012 at 2:57 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 14
@9 when I did that on my iPad it said "Alien Invasion Plan installed".

Is that a good thing?
Posted by Will in Seattle on December 17, 2012 at 3:02 PM · Report this
Christampa 15
@8 I am amused that you don't know what the word inference means*.

*I'm insinuating that you're an idiot.
Posted by Christampa on December 18, 2012 at 2:27 AM · Report this
venomlash 16
@5: Awful.
Posted by venomlash on December 18, 2012 at 3:13 AM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 17
@15: Huh?
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on December 18, 2012 at 8:10 AM · Report this

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