For the 10,000th time in a row, Barbara Walters has revealed most of the winners on her "10 Most Fascinating People of the Year" list, and SURPRISE! Once again, I am not anywhere near it. In fact, I am so far away from her top 10, I'm beginning to think it has a restraining order against me (which would be my fifth of 2012, if I'm not mistaken). And ONCE AGAIN, most of the people who made the list are totally... okay, mostly... okay maybe just a teensy bit undeserving. Like that "Secretary of State Hillary Clinton" person. She's okay, I guess. And Ben Affleck! Undeserving, though totally DREAMY! And Olympic gold medalist Gabby Douglas—I could totally get a bunch of gold medals, too, if I'd spent my entire life training to do something other than watch TV and bang hot pieces of tail. But do they give gold medals for that??? NO, THEY DO NOT!!
But check this poo-poo out! Besides those kind-of-okay-I-guess-if-you-like-those-sort-of-people people, Babs also included Seth MacFarlane (creator of Family Guy and not one-tenth as funny as he seems to think), boy band One Direction (in their defense, they do make my penis go one direction... UP!), New Jersey governor Chris Christie (and dowwwwwn goes the penis), Fifty Shades of Grey author E.L. James (who makes my penis pack its suitcase and run screaming in the opposite direction), and... wait a freakin' second... HONEY BOO BOO??