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Thursday, December 13, 2012

You Probably Don't Want to Work for Dalkey Archive Press

Posted by on Thu, Dec 13, 2012 at 11:14 AM

I love the books published by Dalkey Archive Press, but this call for employment is ridiculous:

The Press is looking for promising candidates with an appropriate background who: have already demonstrated a strong interest in literary publishing; are very well read in literature in general and Dalkey Archive books in particular; are highly motivated and ambitious; are determined to have a career in publishing and will sacrifice to make that career happen; are willing to start off at a low-level salary and work their way upwards; possess multi-dimensional skills that will be applied to work at the Press; look forward to undergoing a rigorous and challenging probationary period either as an intern or employee; want to work at Dalkey Archive Press doing whatever is required of them to make the Press succeed; do not have any other commitments (personal or professional) that will interfere with their work at the Press (family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations, degrees to be finished, holidays to be taken, weddings to attend in Rio, etc.); know how to act and behave in a professional office environment with high standards of performance; and who have a commitment to excellence that can be demonstrated on a day-to-day basis. DO NOT APPLY IF ALL OF THE ABOVE DOES NOT DESCRIBE YOU
...
Any of the following will be grounds for immediate dismissal during the probationary period: coming in late or leaving early without prior permission; being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work; submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument; failing to respond to emails in a timely way; not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial; making repeated mistakes; violating company policies. DO NOT APPLY if you have a work history containing any of the above.

Laurence Mackin at the Irish Times spoke to John O'Brien, the director of Dalkey Archive and the author of the ad. O'Brien thinks we didn't get his joke:

The advertisement was a modest proposal. Serious and not-serious at one and the same time. I’ve been swamped with emails (I wish they’d stop: I’ve work to do), and with job applications. I certainly have been called an ‘asshole’ before, but not as many times within a 24-hour period.

So, hey! There's a job opening in the publishing industry, everyone! The severity of this job application maybe hides the more important news: Dalkey is moving the center of their operations from Champaign, Illinois to London. As a local writer just said to me by e-mail, a publisher moving from a relatively cheap, smaller town in the United States to one of the most expensive cities in the world is maybe not the smartest move, especially when that publisher is as small and niche-y as Dalkey Archive. Dalkey produces great books, and anything that threatens to get in the way of those books being published is worrisome.

 

Comments (15) RSS

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1
Uncontrolled corporate bullshittery (what, no weekly urine test?) combined with the inherent unreliability of a small business (whoops - paycheck bounced again) smothered in a sauce of dying industry, served in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

Jesus, where do I sign up?
Posted by johnjjeeves on December 13, 2012 at 11:30 AM
2
It takes pretty big stones to 1) pretend something that was obviously not satire was satire, and 2) try to evoke a comparison to Swift by using the phrase "a modest proposal." And by "pretty big stones" I mean "a pretty big asshole."
Posted by beef rallard on December 13, 2012 at 11:50 AM
3
Whoever wrote that clearly isn't qualified to even apply for a job at Dalkay Press.
Posted by dirge on December 13, 2012 at 12:03 PM
4
The new intern is already tweeting. S/he seems to like the job...

https://twitter.com/DalkeyIntern/
Posted by Jude Fawley on December 13, 2012 at 12:15 PM
Dougsf 5
Nowhere in the post is there a description of the job. Is this how serial killers vet their victims?
Posted by Dougsf on December 13, 2012 at 12:21 PM
6
Shouldn't you guys have assigned this story to one of your unpaid interns?
Posted by PCM on December 13, 2012 at 12:28 PM
7
I don't get the outrage here.
Posted by Foonken2 http://www.whatnonotnow.tumblr.com on December 13, 2012 at 12:34 PM
Pope Peabrain 8
And they wonder why people shoot up their workplace!?!
Posted by Pope Peabrain on December 13, 2012 at 12:40 PM
Urgutha Forka 9
Yeah, we clearly don't need unions anymore.

*rolls eyes*
Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 13, 2012 at 12:42 PM
10
And I thought the stranger's job description looking for webmaster was ridiculous (you must be an expert in every technology ever made and work crazy long hours at all hours) but, yeah, this one takes the cake... this message will moderator destruct in 3...2...1 i love the stranger but don't throw too many rocks when your own job descriptions are a little over the top :)
Posted by hifiandrew on December 13, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Chelydra_serpentina 11
I thought all entry-level jobs in publishing were pretty much like this. "Excel in superhuman fashion at doing shit work under shit conditions for shit pay, and maybe someday you'll be an author or editor. Though it's far more likely you'll be doing shit work under shit conditions for shit pay for the rest of your life. But maybe someday you'll be an author or editor!"
Posted by Chelydra_serpentina on December 13, 2012 at 1:15 PM
12
It's entirely surprising that a company who pays for shit and disrespects their employees' humanity gets shit employees and is constantly frustrated with their performance and unprofessionality.
Posted by they'll never learn on December 13, 2012 at 1:44 PM
13
@11 - Close, but let me FTFY:

"Excel in superhuman fashion at doing shit work under shit conditions for (no) pay, and maybe someday you'll (get an entry-level paying gig, but probably not).

Publishing industry is completely fucked, because they're addicted to interns that they never have to pay, and can discard every six months or so. Occasionally someone who is so utterly over-qualified and so utterly willing to put up with the Worst Industry In The World will come along and turn an internship into a paying gig, but it's so rare you may as well buy a scratch ticket and hope to win enough money to publish your own damn works. As such, 'talent,' such as it is, stagnates with those who already have jobs, and no qualified or talented person who wants to work as an editor or in publishing can do so if they have any fucking bills to pay.
Posted by johnjjeeves on December 13, 2012 at 1:55 PM
Amalink 14
OMG I seriously just left that job (only not at Dalkey or any publishing company). Ridiculously long hours for shit pay, crazy bosses who demand something and when it doesn't come out to their ideal (despite that their ideal wasn't even possible) you get yelled at for being stupid, unworthy, whatever.No holidays, vacation, or time off allowed. In fact have to be in the office even if there's no work to do just to prove they own you. 5 years I did that and found out (when I took vacation) the minute I finally left the office for a week they put up an ad for my job. Good riddance to that shit.
Sigh.
Thanks for the chance to finally vent a little.
Posted by Amalink on December 13, 2012 at 2:02 PM
15
@14: But the unpaid intern loves her "job"! Surely your anecdotes are worthless.
Posted by i can psychoanalyze tweets and boy howdy on December 14, 2012 at 8:19 AM

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