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Thursday, December 13, 2012

The Most Beautiful Science Story You Will Read Today

Posted by on Thu, Dec 13, 2012 at 8:10 AM

Science Daily:

Tropical montane cloud forest trees use more than their roots to take up water. They also drink water from clouds directly through their leaves, University of California, Berkeley, scientists have discovered.
Roots drawing water from mud is not as elegant as leaves absorbing water from surrounding clouds. The former is like fucking; the latter is like kissing.

 

Comments (14) RSS

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Cracker Jack 14
Yeah.... because root is never a euphemism for male genitalia and what the root penetrates would be a far stretch from the female. But perhaps you're right... maybe it's a homosexual tree.
Posted by Cracker Jack on December 13, 2012 at 8:16 PM · Report this
13
Charles, Of everything I have ever read of yours, I like that post the most.

@6 - Funny, no female parts, reproductive or otherwise came to mind as I read that line. I think that you are grasping too hard.
Posted by PaulBarwick on December 13, 2012 at 3:07 PM · Report this
12
I agree with charles: science... blah blah blah... fucking... etc
Posted by elstongunn on December 13, 2012 at 1:25 PM · Report this
venomlash 11
@4: I'll swap you some mind bleach for that gun.
Posted by venomlash on December 13, 2012 at 12:39 PM · Report this
treacle 10
Anthropomorphic analogies are rather pointless here. Why? Who cares? We have to gain empathetic understandings of alien ways of doing things in order to truly appreciate them, not always translate them into human methods.
Posted by treacle on December 13, 2012 at 11:48 AM · Report this
Beetlecat 9
@6 I think you're seeing things that aren't there. I don't read anything that implies sex (as in gender) of the roots or the mud.
Posted by Beetlecat on December 13, 2012 at 11:47 AM · Report this
Will in Seattle 8
Actually, the coastal fog is partially created by the redwoods themselves.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on December 13, 2012 at 11:18 AM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 7
There have been a number of announcements of new "dew catcher" technologies that can collect drinking water from humidity.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on December 13, 2012 at 10:16 AM · Report this
Cracker Jack 6
Your casual misogyny of equating the female reproductive system with a mudhole is a new "high" for yourself, Charles.
Posted by Cracker Jack on December 13, 2012 at 10:10 AM · Report this
rob! 5
Roots in mud is at least as elegant as fucking.

1) Plants can release compounds that inhibit the growth of competing vegetation;
2) Plant roots in intimate association with fungal mycorrhizae can exchange nutrients for mutual benefit;
3) Plant roots exert a wide range of effects on the surrounding soil microbial community.

—and that's just for starters. Try any of those with your johnson.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on December 13, 2012 at 9:57 AM · Report this
motofly 4
I have a fantasy. A fantasy about a special gun. One that violently and totally blows away and obliterates all the pieces of my brain that have been unwittingly exposed to Charles' posts while leaving the rest of me intact and better than before. I could use that gun right now.
Posted by motofly on December 13, 2012 at 9:23 AM · Report this
3
Somebody doesn't kiss while fucking, apparently.
Posted by gloomy gus on December 13, 2012 at 9:09 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 2
It makes me wonder what the minimum amount of water a planet needs to sustain life.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on December 13, 2012 at 9:08 AM · Report this
internet_jen 1
Coastal fog is how the redwoods are able to grow so tall. They wouldn't be able to consistently get enough H2O up to the tops of the trees otherwise.
Posted by internet_jen on December 13, 2012 at 8:31 AM · Report this

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