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Monday, December 10, 2012

Scones

Posted by on Mon, Dec 10, 2012 at 12:30 PM

Some company with press materials that are so obscure, we can't even figure out what they do, just sent us some scones. The feeling here so far: Scones are never that good. Most people don't really like scones. Most scones are really dry. If a given scone happens to be really good, you get the distinct feeling that a British person would sniff haughtily and say, "But, my dear lady/man, THAT is not a scone at ALL. Not-tat-tall." They are also pale and unappetizing-looking (and then there's the scones! Sorry, so sorry). If you're thinking of sending baked goods, maybe make it not scones. Of course, beggars/choosers and all that: Thank you, company! But...

 

Comments (49) RSS

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Bauhaus I 1
Go to Downtown Espresso at 4th and Wall, have a latte and a savory scone.....now!
Posted by Bauhaus I on December 10, 2012 at 12:42 PM · Report this
Bauhaus I 2
...but you're right, they can be awful. The first ones I ever made were from an old Doubleday cookbook recipe and you could have used them as paperweights.
Posted by Bauhaus I on December 10, 2012 at 12:44 PM · Report this
Pick1 3
Here in Utah, we have Sconecutters which is a fast food place that does hamburgers, sandwiches, and pretty much everything between scones. It's fast food but I remember loving them as a kid.

Now, less so.

Funny thing was that it seems they built themselves to feed the stoner populous of Utah. I believe they decided that tacos weren't the only greasy food for getting high. When they first opened they were one of the few 24 hour restaurants and their slogan was "Let's all get Sconed!"

Masters of subtlety.
Posted by Pick1 on December 10, 2012 at 12:46 PM · Report this
4
They only taste bad if you pronounce them so they rhyme with "bones". If you actually say their name properly, (rhymes with "Fonz"), they will taste a lot better.
Posted by boyd main on December 10, 2012 at 12:51 PM · Report this
Big Matt G 5
Scones reach their perfection when enjoyed with tea, of course...
Posted by Big Matt G on December 10, 2012 at 12:51 PM · Report this
6
The scones at the Crumpet Shop in the Market are wonderful. They are the opposite of what is typically thought of as scones.
Posted by paulus on December 10, 2012 at 12:52 PM · Report this
Joe Szilagyi 7
Like a burger, you have a Burger and you have Scones, in contrast to scones.

Posted by Joe Szilagyi http://twitter.com/joeszi on December 10, 2012 at 12:52 PM · Report this
care bear 8
You're eating the wrong scones.
Posted by care bear on December 10, 2012 at 12:55 PM · Report this
scary tyler moore 9
bethany, trot around the corner to the QFC and buy some clotted cream and raspberry jam to put on the scones. then get back to me.
Posted by scary tyler moore http://pushymcshove.blogspot.com/ on December 10, 2012 at 12:58 PM · Report this
internet_jen 10
The first scone I ever knew was a Fisher Scone from the Puyallup Fair. I usually get at least a bakers dozen. But those are more like single serving shortcake (good shortcake!)

Once, I saw a bowl of dough w/ shredded cheese in the fridge. I excitedly asked my housemate if she was going to make cheesey cookies (like an experiment), she laughed and said she was going to make scones.

Ever since then we call them cheesey cookies.
Posted by internet_jen on December 10, 2012 at 12:58 PM · Report this
11
Scones must be out of the oven fresh. And #6 is correct: Crumpet shop scones are deeeeelightful.
Posted by tkc on December 10, 2012 at 12:59 PM · Report this
wisepunk 12
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "YOU PEOPLE"?
Posted by wisepunk on December 10, 2012 at 12:59 PM · Report this
zivilisierter Wurm 13
Bethany, you have clearly never had a Fisher scone fresh from the Puyallup Fair. It's a constitutive experience for any member of the 253 (I dunno, maybe you 206ers just don't associate with that sort of provincial hee-haw business.) The scalding jam, pat of butter already running out the sides - if that doesn't make scones into a Plantonic ideal for you, I dunno what to do: you are clearly some sort of shaded husk of person.
Posted by zivilisierter Wurm http://peregrinari.tumblr.com/ on December 10, 2012 at 1:00 PM · Report this
14
Most scones are terrible. A notable exception is the Willows Inn on Lummey Is. The scones at their breakfast are shockingly delicious. They pulled this same trick with their oatmeal somehow, another food that is usually a disaster.
Posted by longball on December 10, 2012 at 1:03 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 15
Being a southerner (by birth anyway) my usual reaction to scones is "man somebody really fucked up these biscuits."

There is a coffee place down in Tucson that makes a scone with a chile relleno baked into it. That's awesome. But I think it bears only a passing resemblance to a "real" scone.
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on December 10, 2012 at 1:10 PM · Report this
tedb310 16
Hey, I like scones, but I get your comment about the British person. I feel the same way about bagels and New Yorkers. The bagels I like are the ones a New Yorker would totally turn their nose up at.
Posted by tedb310 on December 10, 2012 at 1:12 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 17
Hmmmm, me luvs sum sconz.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on December 10, 2012 at 1:14 PM · Report this
18
Scones are one of those baked goods like biscotti that are only worth eating with a hot drink. Without tea or coffee they're both disgustingly rich and flavorless at the same time, with a weird gritty texture. Like cupcakes and chocolate-chip cookies, scones are edible, they're just not worth the calories. Even a cinderblock would probably taste good filled with cream and strawberry jam, and I wouldn't call that my favorite pastry. Scones are never that good.
Posted by Prettybetsy on December 10, 2012 at 1:16 PM · Report this
19
Cafe Kopi on Lake City way just off of 80th will turn you around.
Posted by doceb on December 10, 2012 at 1:19 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 20
@5 @6 @8 @11 are right.

You need real scones, not the crap u call scones they sell in most places here.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on December 10, 2012 at 1:36 PM · Report this
21
British people would not at all approve of what passes for "scones" at most coffee shops here. Real scones are light, fluffy, buttery and only a little sweet. And best had with hot tea that doesn't come in a bag.
Posted by don't hate the scones, hate the baker on December 10, 2012 at 1:57 PM · Report this
Josh Bis 22
I like a fairly dry, not overly flavorful scone. Against my better judgement, I will tell you that the secret best scones in the city are available at the Bar Ferd'nand espresso stand in the Melrose Market. Now, please leave some for the rest of us.
Posted by Josh Bis http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Author.html?oid=3815563 on December 10, 2012 at 2:03 PM · Report this
23
Will in Seattle is right- good scones are buttery, have just a touch of sweetness and rarely look pretty. Clotted cream (or just mix softened cream cheese and REAL whipped cream in equal proportions) and your jam of choice will elevate them, esp. when served either fresh out of the oven or warmed up. Mine rarely last long enough to be warmed up.
Posted by Duvall-ite on December 10, 2012 at 2:11 PM · Report this
24
Scones were devised by the same people who invented oatmeal-stuffed sheep's bladder.
Posted by sarah70 on December 10, 2012 at 2:14 PM · Report this
Karl Schuck 25
As snails are just vehicles for eating garlic butter, scones are meant as vehicles for double butter or clotted cream, and heaps of jam. In short, there are intended to be drowned in yummy stuff.
Posted by Karl Schuck on December 10, 2012 at 2:26 PM · Report this
California Kid 26
As a life long 206er, Fisher Fair scones in September is a must have, made even better with scones out of the oven, butter and homemade raspberry freezer jam!
Posted by California Kid on December 10, 2012 at 2:28 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 27
As @23 said, pretty scones usually taste like dreck.

Good scones taste good. That's all they do.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on December 10, 2012 at 2:44 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 28
@ 23, there's something you don't see often: "Will in Seattle is right...."
Posted by Matt from Denver on December 10, 2012 at 2:49 PM · Report this
29
The Green Cat Cafe that used to be on Olive made the best blueberry scones I've ever had. So sorry they closed.
Posted by I Love IPA on December 10, 2012 at 2:49 PM · Report this
originalcinner 30
Scones are great. It's biscuits that suck. Biscuits, neither scones nor bread rolls, so what's their reason for being?
At least you can slather jam and cream on pretty much any scone and make it mostly edible.

And yes, scones rhymes with Fonz, never with bones.
Posted by originalcinner on December 10, 2012 at 2:54 PM · Report this
31
Scones need to be eaten fresh out of the oven and they are best with lots of butter or clotted cream and home made jam. My scone recipe uses cream as one of the ingredients and they are fantastic. And, FWIW, I learned to make them from my English born mother.
Posted by swing state voter on December 10, 2012 at 2:55 PM · Report this
TVDinner 32
Make your own, goddammit, using the Joy of Cooking's recipe, and you will hear the angels sing. Use frozen butter and a pastry cutter.

Duh! You people....
Posted by TVDinner http:// on December 10, 2012 at 3:20 PM · Report this
J-Haxx 33
I make my own, and my mom told me that mine are better than my Scottish grannies' ....the secret? Handle it like pastry; cold butter, touch as little as possible, very little sugar, stop when the dough is barely holding together. And yes, they are only good for the first half-day, after that they get too dry. I almost never bother to buy them at cafes because I have had too many bad ones (dry, or too cakey)....just stick to muffins.
Posted by J-Haxx http://defyaugury.livejournal.com on December 10, 2012 at 3:28 PM · Report this
SchmuckyTheCat 34
Fisher Fair Scones or GTFO, don't care if you're the Queen, gtfo.
Posted by SchmuckyTheCat on December 10, 2012 at 4:35 PM · Report this
Rev. Adam McKinney 35
Another vote for Fisher Fair Scones. They hold a lifelong record for being the best thing I've ever put in my mouth.
Posted by Rev. Adam McKinney http://weeklyvolcano.com on December 10, 2012 at 5:59 PM · Report this
Chefgirl 36
Here is a recipe I made that seems to appeal to both Americans AND Brits.

1 1/2 cup old fashioned rolled oats
1 1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 cup shortening (Crisco)
1/4 cup (half stick) butter
1/3 cup cold water (or a little less, add slowly. You don’t want soppy dough)

Combine dry ingredients. Cut in shortening and butter. (you can do this the night before and just add the water in the next step on the morning of baking, if you like. It makes it easy to take warm scones to work in the morning without having to make them up from scratch.)

Add enough water to make a stiff dough. Shape (on cutting board) into three discs and then cut each into 4 wedges.

Bake on greased baking pan at 350° for about 15-20 minutes.

*Note: I press about a ½ tsp of turbinado sugar into each scone before baking.

Posted by Chefgirl on December 10, 2012 at 6:04 PM · Report this
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raku 38
Just in case I ever get Momento disease and can't remember what I like eating, I'm getting a tattoo that says "You enjoy eating exactly the opposite foods as Bethany Jean Clement (find a computer and type Bing.com for specifics)". I think amnesia me will have a sense of wonder at the pretty photos of animals I don't recognize on Bing.com, but I really hope it doesn't shut down or I'll spend the rest of my life getting frustrated at computers. :-(
Posted by raku on December 10, 2012 at 6:35 PM · Report this
Steve French 39
PCC has some truly delicious scones in their bakery. Tons of fruit and nuts and massive tasty deliciousness. Also, they have some right now that are made with eggnog, as if regular scones weren't already unhealthy enough.
Posted by Steve French on December 10, 2012 at 7:13 PM · Report this
nicholaus 40
As a few people have already stated, the Crumpet Shop scones are amazing! However, you may need to get them before 10:30 as they always sell out!
Posted by nicholaus on December 10, 2012 at 7:17 PM · Report this
41
@4: Mah ohld Duhd alwez said, 'skuhnz' or summat lahk thaht.

I love the receipt given in "Real Bread" by Bayliss and Castle (there's a newer addition credited just to Bayliss which I've not seen and so for which I can't vouch)...it calls for sour milk (typically done as fresh with lemon added) but I use a mixture of milk and yoghourt or milk and sour cream, and the result is barely sweet...not being British or otherwise caring, I add frozen 'wild' (small) blueberries at the very end of making the batter-y dough, though, being careful not to break them and so mixing in the sweet.

http://www.alibris.com/booksearch?qwork=…

Posted by Gerald Fnord on December 10, 2012 at 7:47 PM · Report this
42
I voted for scones, but I'm basically British, and here, they are never that good.
Posted by rainandkale on December 10, 2012 at 8:19 PM · Report this
43
@1, come on, bro, your Utah nativism is showing. What Utah calls "scones" the rest of the country calls "fried dough". I used to know the menu of Sconecutter intimately (all-night places are damned scarce here in God's country), and nowhere on that menu is an actual scone.
Posted by katallred on December 10, 2012 at 9:46 PM · Report this
44
Hopped in just to say - " oh, you haven't tried the Fisher scones at the Puyallup Fair!" and see half a dozen beat me to it. Very smart sloggers you have here...but now I'm hungry for one. Sigh.
Posted by DawginExile on December 10, 2012 at 9:56 PM · Report this
45
You can on occasion buy the Fisher Scone mix on sale at Bartells. With raspberry freezer jam from QFC, it's as if you're fair, but you don't have to drive to Puyallup or wait for September.
Posted by gracey on December 10, 2012 at 10:01 PM · Report this
46
Scones are almost always too dry and crumbly for me to enjoy; as a food purist, I refuse to dunk things in my coffee. And what's with the giant crystals of sugar on top? Sometimes I settle for the two-bite scones from the grocery store, which are probably full of stabilizers and preservatives, but at least they have good flavor and texture.
Posted by brendan on December 10, 2012 at 10:05 PM · Report this
47
I like scones, but I'm weird. I'd rather have a heavy, crumbly scone than a cookie.
Posted by Amanda on December 11, 2012 at 4:28 PM · Report this
reverend dr dj riz 48
@ 22 knows what he's talking about
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on December 12, 2012 at 9:06 AM · Report this
49
I would just like to state for the record that I am not, personally, anti-scone, or at least not violently so—this post was a report on the general feeling around the office about scones. I do think, though, that when you have a good scone, it's so different from the bad scones, it seems like an entirely different beast, and as if (as I said in the post) it might not actually qualify as a scone. Whereas a muffin, good or bad, always seems identifiably muffinlike.

I'm going to get some of this @22 sconeage, for sure.
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on December 13, 2012 at 1:49 PM · Report this

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