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Thursday, December 6, 2012

Teh Internets Some Out-of-Context Answers from Phoenix Jones's AMA on Reddit

Posted by Paul Constant on Thu, Dec 6, 2012 at 10:12 PM

Benjamin Fodor, a grown man who refers to himself as a "superhero," is answering questions on Reddit right now. Here's the whole thread. His best answers, in chronological order...

YES SHE IS MY WIFE

GOOD I TURN DOWN FIGHTS ALL THE TIME

I WOULD HAVE CONTROL OF METAL SO I COULD STOP BULLET AND THE SCARIEST MOMENT EVER WAS WHEN I SAW A WOMEN GET SHOT IN THE FACE AND HAD TO CHASE THE SHOOTER

THEY NEED TO ASSIGN COPS BEATS TO WALK AND TO ACTIVELY TRY TO ENTER VEIN IN CRIME VS JUST GO TO CALLS WERE CRIMES HAVE ALREADY HAPPENED

FUNNY SAD AND NOT WELL PREPARED

NOT SURE COUPLE THOUSAND SHORT

I THINK ANYTIME YOU GET KILLED PUBLICITY DOES NOT REALLY MATTER ANYMORE

HORSE SIZE DUCK

Again, the whole AMA can be found over on Reddit, but trust me: Context just ruins it.

(Many thanks to Slog tipper Knat.)

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Comments (26) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

Figures his capslock key would be stuck.

Posted by MacCrocodile

on December 6, 2012 at 10:41 PM

Tarradiddle is a word more often defined than used.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on December 6, 2012 at 10:54 PM

The rational part of my brain says Reddit's jumping the shark, but the rest of me is enjoying all the reddit kids shouting back at him.

Posted by snakes on December 6, 2012 at 11:27 PM

TIL:

Fight Record

Benjamin Fodor holds an 11-0-0 record in unsanctioned amateur mixed martial arts fights, and a 4-0-0 professional fight record. Fodor's fight name is listed as 'Fear the Flattop'. He is also the brother of Strikeforce MMA fighter Caros Fodor.

Posted by Ipso Facto

on December 6, 2012 at 11:45 PM

Having seen Phoenix Jones in person in his and Violet Reign's panel at GeekGirlCon, I can say that he actually seems to be a much cooler guy than I ever expected. Actually has some good ideas and cares about his community a lot, and recognizes that what he does is weird and crazy and came from dumb youthful anger.

I don't necessarily think that the superhero notion is the highest and best use of time, but, hell, he's trying really hard to do good things and he's surprisingly conscientious about staying within the law and trying to protect people first and foremost. He knows he's no genius.

I think Phoenix Jones si a pretty cool guy, eh punches crimenials and doesn't afraid of anything.

Posted by balderdash

on December 6, 2012 at 11:45 PM

At Seattle PI (Feb '12): Meet Seattle’s female Superhero: Purple Reign

They say behind every great man is a great woman.

If true, get ready to meet a great woman; Purple Reign is the woman behind Seattle Superhero Phoenix Jones.

While Phoenix Jones is passionate about public safety, Purple Reign is passionate about fighting domestic violence; and like Phoenix Jones, Purple Reign is now using her superhero costume to raise awareness about her passion.

Purple Reign started the “The Purple Reign Campaign” this month to make a stand against domestic violence.

As a survivor of domestic violence, Purple Reign’s aim is to help people currently experiencing domestic violence in their homes by giving them strength and resources. She’s going to use her superhero costume and passion to raise money and give the proceeds directly to Northwest Family Life — told you she’s a good one.

Posted by Ipso Facto

on December 7, 2012 at 12:04 AM

The Stanger was kind of anti-Pheonix Jones last year. Have you changed your mind?

Posted by Get Real on December 7, 2012 at 12:51 AM

this is dumb

Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 7, 2012 at 1:16 AM

Internet Rule #3: Those who use caps lock can be ignored. You aren't missing anything.

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on December 7, 2012 at 1:34 AM

@7 I'm still anti-Phoenix. Vigilante justice is just a few steps away from libertarian anarchy and living in Somolia.

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on December 7, 2012 at 7:11 AM

I saw that this am. Somewhere an army of grammar-nazi's is collectively spinning in their graves.

"...THE COPS DONT INTER VEIN"

Having mocked him enough, I am sort of with "Balderdash" at comment #5. What he does is only mildly annoying, and occasionally humorous (like when he got his ass handed to him by a gaggle of mace-wielding sorority girls).

But he takes his superhero persona WAY too seriously.

When asked what's the best part of his "job", he replied "SAVING LIVES".

I would have stepped into the Reddit thread and asked him for specific details of specific lives he's saved, but it just isn't worth it.

Posted by Dr_Awesome on December 7, 2012 at 7:16 AM

P.s. it suddenly struck me that Bailo's job here is akin to the immature pre-teens that spam the more juvenile YouTube comments in their attempts to be first to post "FIRST!".

He doesn't care that his nonsense posts are wildly incorrect or miles off-topic. He just has the same deep-seated need to be "FIRST" at something. Even if that something is incredibly dumb.

Posted by Dr_Awesome on December 7, 2012 at 7:18 AM

I know that it makes me sound like J. Jonah Jameson when I say it, but Phoenix Jones is a menace.

Posted by Ben on December 7, 2012 at 8:33 AM

And give Phoenix Jones the attention he so desperately craves? No thanks, forever.

Posted by suddenlyorcas on December 7, 2012 at 8:36 AM

You missed the best reply:

AFTER I GOT SHOT THE FIRST TIME AND WOKE UP UNDER A DUMPSTER

Posted by Joe Szilagyi

on December 7, 2012 at 8:38 AM

He spells "combat" with a K more than once. That wasn't a typo, and I rather doubt it's an homage. But this is my favorite exchange:

"I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but typing in uppercase letters is considered "yelling" on the internet. It's very hard to read, it sounds like you're in a wind storm or something."

"OH MOST COMICS ARE WRITTEN IN CAPS I LIVE A COMIC WORLD SO I RIGHT IN CAPS"

So many levels to this...

Posted by Knat on December 7, 2012 at 10:33 AM

Horse Sized duck? What a moron. Thing would kill you with one peck.

Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings

on December 7, 2012 at 10:56 AM

...

Posted by treacle on December 7, 2012 at 11:46 AM

@11 *grammar nazis

Posted by Wheedle on December 7, 2012 at 12:37 PM

HORSE SIZE D*CK

yes i am 12

Posted by merry on December 7, 2012 at 1:33 PM

I'm not gonna go look, so somebody please just spoil it for me. Is the horse size duck his new sidekick ... or is it some sort of amphibious conveyance? (Is he, for instance, going out to settle drunken beefs among the Christmas Boat crowd?

Posted by RonK, Seattle on December 7, 2012 at 1:50 PM

@21 It's the answer to a question, Would you rather have a hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?

It's the How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? poser for the internet age.

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on December 7, 2012 at 3:17 PM

@22: No, the question is, "which would you rather fight, 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?" Or sometimes, "who would win in a fight between 100 duck-sized horses and one horse-sized duck?"

The Atlantic Wire probed the history of the question, and Vice took it to the streets.

Posted by Ipso Facto

on December 7, 2012 at 5:08 PM

@21- @23 is correct, and the answer is obvious to anyone who's ever actually dealt with large waterfowl or tiny equines. Miniature horses are virtually powerless and they're about 4 times the size of a duck. A horse sized duck (if such a thing could exists which it can't for physiological reasons) would be a killing machine.

Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings

on December 7, 2012 at 5:21 PM

@24: A horse-sized duck would be physiologically impossible? Not so fast: take a gander (hah!) at the extinct elephant bird. At 10 feet tall and nearly half a ton, I'd say it qualifies as "horse-sized". And think of ostriches and emus. Heck, think of dinosaurs (the forebears of avians). Check out the bird-like Gigantorapter.

Speaking of tiny horses... (Quite adorable, but the risks (to the health of the animal) of breeding ever tinier animals concerns me.)

And quacking of giant ducks...

Posted by Ipso Facto

on December 7, 2012 at 6:53 PM

Ah, and then there's this:

The enormous birds, known as Dasornis, soared over the wetlands of prehistoric southern England when the land which now covers London, Essex and Kent was underwater.

Related to present-day ducks and geese, 50 million years ago these giants once skimmed the waters, snapping up fish and squid with their bony-toothed beak.

Their massive wingspan - the length of a family car - also meant they could cover huge distances. Dasornis was in many ways similar to the modern albatross.
Enlarge Big head: The Darsonis fossil skull discovered by palaeontologists on the Isle of Sheppey

Dr Gerald Mayr, from the Senckenberg Research Institute in Frankfurt, Germany, who described the find today in the journal Palaeontology, said: 'Imagine a bird like an ocean-going goose, almost the size of a small plane.

Posted by Ipso Facto

on December 7, 2012 at 7:22 PM