Slog

News & Arts

Line Out

Music & the City
at Night

« Photos: Deck the Hall Ball (M83, Me… | Washington Among the Tops in Voter… »

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Chow / ??!! "Eat Like a Hobbit... Only at Denny's"

Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Thu, Dec 6, 2012 at 3:24 PM

Wm.™ Steven Humphrey on the Hobbit menu at Denny's

...I'm going to spend this column recounting the story of The Hobbit—a book I've never read and know nothing about. Everybody's super-excited about the upcoming Hobbit movie... especially the Denny's chain of restaurants, which inexplicably created an entire Hobbit menu. I ate there the other day, and—well, shit yeah, I'm gonna eat off the Hobbit menu!! Even though I haven't read the book, I figured I'd just read the menu and learn everything I needed to know. (The "Gandalf Gobbler" was delicious, BTW—even if it was a sandwich instead of a wizard with an enthusiastic appreciation for oral sex.)

Anyway, now that I've educated myself, here's my plot synopsis of the book, based on everything I learned from the Denny's menu. Enjoy...

Stephen Colbert on the Hobbit menu at Denny's—enjoy!

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

FacebookShare

Comments (8) RSS

Newest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment

I tried the Hobbit Hole breakfast. I liked it, partly because I like egg-in-toast, but mostly because the presence of bacon forced them to finally *cook* the hash browns, instead of delivering them to my plate slimy, white, and tepid.

Posted by Orv on December 7, 2012 at 10:12 AM

I'll only eat there if they have a Moon Over Rivendell Over My Hammy.

Posted by LEE. on December 6, 2012 at 10:55 PM

My friend Heath has an alternative suggestion... http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2012/11/mid…

Posted by PEM on December 6, 2012 at 8:30 PM

@1: Hobbit trading card?!?!?

Damnit. Now I'm gonna have to eat at fucking Denny's.

Posted by disintegrator

on December 6, 2012 at 7:10 PM

Moons over my Hamfast Gamgee

Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 6, 2012 at 4:41 PM

I am going to comment on this post without having read it.

This post is awesome and very witty!

Posted by matt on December 6, 2012 at 4:32 PM

I miss IHOP.

Glad to hear you got a Gandalf card.

Posted by Will in Seattle

on December 6, 2012 at 3:54 PM

You get a free Hobbit trading card when you order. The other weekend when we were there a friend of mine really wanted a Gandalf card for some damn reason and practically forced all of us to order off that damn menu. The Hobbit Hole was, well, it's all Denny's food; what the fuck would you expect it to be? It was kinda okay greasy schlop that I regretted eating for the rest of the night. Just like everything else on the menu.

And yes, we ended up getting her a Gandalf card, a limited edition one no less.

Posted by Pick1 on December 6, 2012 at 3:34 PM