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Tuesday, December 4, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Sibling Kisses

Posted by on Tue, Dec 4, 2012 at 9:19 AM

I'm on hiatus while working on a manuscript for a new book. In the meantime, please enjoy these classic Savage Love letters pulled from previous columns. I will be back when the book is finished. —Dan

Originally published June 7, 2007:

I am 33 and my sister is 40. We are only half brother and half sister, as we have different fathers. A week ago, my sister was massaging my back. Then she started rubbing her hands over my chest from behind. I thought, "Um, okay, no big deal." Then she started giving me little kisses on my neck. Then she kissed me on the mouth. No big deal, right? Brothers and sisters sometimes do that. But THIS time she French-kissed me.

Growing up, I heard, "Your sister is hot, blah, blah, blah," from my friends. But I never looked at my sister that way. After we kissed, she pulled back and said, "This isn't right; we're not in fuckin' Kentucky." I've talked to her a few times on the phone since that night. She keeps bringing up what happened and saying it's not right. I told her I agreed, it wasn't right.

But I liked it, Dan. Am I some sick fuck? Are we both sick fucks? I have no idea if anything will happen again. But I know my sister. A bit of her history: married and divorced three times, three kids, all raised by their fathers. She's also an alcoholic: Could that have something to do with this?

Fucked Right Up In The Southwest

My response after the jump...

Alcohol: deadlier than cocaine and Ecstasy—and mescaline, roofies, peyote, and pot (which has no lethal dose)—and it'll make your half sister stick her tongue in your mouth. Eesh.

Okay, FRUITS, the reason your sister keeps calling to say, "It's not right," is because she's waiting for you to say, "I know it ain't right, Sis, but let's do it anyway." She wants you and she's using reverse seduce-ology to get you. ("Eww! Gross!" "Yeah, gross!" "Yeah... pretty gross." "But kind of hot for something so gross, huh?" "Yeah... do you wanna try it? I mean, just to see how gross it is?")

If it were possible for you to have sex with the half of your half sister that you aren't related to—the back half, maybe, or the top half—you might get my unambiguous, if slightly nauseated, blessing. But as that's not possible, FRUITS, I'm going to urge you to deflect your sister's clumsy attempts at reverse seduce-ology—and for you to encourage her to smoke pot instead.

 

Comments (21) RSS

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1
that was really a tough one danny.

you handled it like a pro.....
Posted by HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahhhahohee... on December 4, 2012 at 9:38 AM · Report this
2
It might be disgusting, but consenting-adult incest is a victimless crime.

However, she seems to have some other red flag issues that prevent me from saying "go for it."

There's also how this will affect the family relationship later, but since you've already made out maybe that ship has already sailed.
Posted by gibson99 on December 4, 2012 at 9:42 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 3
$100 says they moved to Kentucky together.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on December 4, 2012 at 9:45 AM · Report this
4
Dear Mississippi Penthouse,
I never thought it would happen to me, but...
Posted by DisorganizedReligion on December 4, 2012 at 9:59 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 5
I suppose it could happen but it sounds contrived.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on December 4, 2012 at 10:01 AM · Report this
6
If I wanted to read about fake incest stories, I'd go to reddit.
Posted by mhulot on December 4, 2012 at 10:20 AM · Report this
Max Solomon 7
What was that John Sayles movie? Lone Star? It had a half-sibling relationship, and it worked out OK.
Posted by Max Solomon on December 4, 2012 at 10:36 AM · Report this
8
Spit take, #4.
Posted by beckysharp52 on December 4, 2012 at 10:49 AM · Report this
9
@7 yes, it was Lone Star - which was a very good movie about a race in a small Texas town.

The kicker is that the two characters in question didn't know they were half-siblings when they hooked up as adults - they discovered that they had the same father only afterwards, and then decided to continue based on the rationale that she couldn't get pregnant... so what-the-hell.
Posted by SuperSteve on December 4, 2012 at 11:02 AM · Report this
10
@9 "movie about race" not "movie about a race"
Posted by SuperSteve on December 4, 2012 at 11:03 AM · Report this
11
Hey, they're consenting adults and their family already sounds pretty messed up, so what the hell. Except based on the sister's history I would counsel the LW to insist on using two different foolproof methods of birth control. If she doesn't agree, no hot Kentucky lovin' for her.
Posted by Anna33 on December 4, 2012 at 11:30 AM · Report this
keshmeshi 12
@9,

They did? I thought she suggested they continue, and he rejected that idea.
Posted by keshmeshi on December 4, 2012 at 12:18 PM · Report this
13
It's not wrong because it's half-incest, it's wrong because she's a hot mess and LW is going to have a tough time cutting ties when it flames out. She's always going to know where he lives. 
Posted by Prettybetsy on December 4, 2012 at 12:18 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 14
@12 It was sort of ambiguous, hence the confusion here. They didn't necessarily reject it, though, giving the impression it continued, but we don't really know. Just gotta say Kris Kristofferson was excellently evil in that film. Just a low-down SOB.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on December 4, 2012 at 1:19 PM · Report this
sirkowski 15
@2 I'd say we'd all be victims here.
Posted by sirkowski http://www.missdynamite.com on December 4, 2012 at 1:25 PM · Report this
very bad homo 16
I never call fake on these letters, but this one really does sound fake.
Posted by very bad homo on December 4, 2012 at 1:56 PM · Report this
In2ishn 17
Lone Star is a great movie, Chris Cooper at his best. Think how good that is!

The end is ambiguous. I say they went for it!
Posted by In2ishn on December 4, 2012 at 2:51 PM · Report this
Pridge Wessea 18
Needs more cocaine (already has the malt liquor).
Posted by Pridge Wessea on December 4, 2012 at 8:38 PM · Report this
19
Chipped in $5. Wish I had more to give. This is all so beautiful.
Posted by Namae nante iranai! on December 5, 2012 at 11:06 AM · Report this
20
What? That posted in the wrong thread. Aaaargh.
Posted by Namae nante iranai! on December 5, 2012 at 11:06 AM · Report this
21
I'm from Louisville and all this Kentucky-hate is giving me a sad
Posted by s.h.g. on December 8, 2012 at 4:57 PM · Report this

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