Slog
News & ArtsMonday, November 26, 2012
Music Whose Sweaty Mens Are Hotter?
Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Nov 26, 2012 at 8:40 AM
46
Ok, I am straight guy and all, so perhaps I just don't understand what I am talking about, but how the hell did the UK get any votes at all?
I mean, I understand not being into the muscle bound thing, but not all of the US guys were like that. On the other hand, the US guys just looked healthy. The UK guys looked pallid, relatively out of shape, and toothless! Doesn't their army cover dental care? Whether their general society covers dental or not, their army should.
If you voted for the UK, was that some sort of fetish thing?
I mean, I understand not being into the muscle bound thing, but not all of the US guys were like that. On the other hand, the US guys just looked healthy. The UK guys looked pallid, relatively out of shape, and toothless! Doesn't their army cover dental care? Whether their general society covers dental or not, their army should.
If you voted for the UK, was that some sort of fetish thing?
45
Brits get a few points for props (the pipe, the portable wood rail, the machine gun lineup) and effort (dancing in full flak vest and gear), but USA wins on teeth, abs, fabulous moves and better lip synching.
43
I've got to pass on the hotness vote due to congenital straightness, but I can tell you which video is better, and that one is no contest. The US wins.
The mortar scene is hard to beat, but the four guys popping up out of the sand pile is pretty uproarious, too. The US one also has much better lip-syncing, directing, camera work, danciing and choreography.
I was impressed, though, by the UK soldiers' ability and willingness to credit themselves on their video. It's a pity that our guys didn't feel they could do that. It might say something about attitudinal differences between the two militaries.
The mortar scene is hard to beat, but the four guys popping up out of the sand pile is pretty uproarious, too. The US one also has much better lip-syncing, directing, camera work, danciing and choreography.
I was impressed, though, by the UK soldiers' ability and willingness to credit themselves on their video. It's a pity that our guys didn't feel they could do that. It might say something about attitudinal differences between the two militaries.
42
I don't want to dis the British boys. They're doing pretty hard stuff in Afghanistan (like just being there), but the US guys in this instance are a little more watchable and they move better. As I said...no disrespect to the Brits. A trip to London will prove that they have more than their fair share of mind-blowing, jaw-dropping eye candy. And of course, even the little guys have those accented deep mellifluous voices.
40
Plus one to what #13 said. And while there's definitely a place in my heart for cute geeky British dudes, the fewer shirts and greater dedication to the source material give this one to the Americans for me.
They are both great tho.
They are both great tho.
37
You have to pay for the dentist here but if you are poor you can get most of it covered by the NHS which means getting a check up and clean costs £10 instead of like 50 or something. But I would think most of these guys have had their teeth knocked out like one of the previous posts says. I may be UK but I'm voting usa much fitter and they copied the original perfectly.
36
Sorry Brits, but team USA is way hotter, and way more diverse too (for those of us who like a bit of variety instead of all white meat).
35
USA! Diverser bodies and hairstyles and better dancing.
Personally I like "Mr. Farmers Tan Hipster Beard (FTHB)" and also the red-haired Brit.
Personally I like "Mr. Farmers Tan Hipster Beard (FTHB)" and also the red-haired Brit.
34
# 3, If the public health system in the UK is anything like in Canada, dental work is not covered. So the dental part is the part that is run just like in the States - you get dental work done if your job has an insurance plan that pays for it, otherwise you do without.l
33
@26 @27 Don't get me wrong, I'm a Mr. Red Head Farmers Tan with Hipster Beard, I just don't care for my own brand.
32
@23,
I wonder if our private system is largely to blame (or thank) for that. We're lousy with dentists, but many people can't afford regular dental care, so many dentists focus their services on cosmetics, even offering cosmetics for free or cheap if you go in for regular dental care.
I wonder if our private system is largely to blame (or thank) for that. We're lousy with dentists, but many people can't afford regular dental care, so many dentists focus their services on cosmetics, even offering cosmetics for free or cheap if you go in for regular dental care.
31
USA. There must have regs against facial hair of any kind on UK troops. Disappointing, as some of these guys are way hotter than the US team, but without facial hair they leave me cold.
GO USA! I agree with 13- let's see some Aussie troops. Aussies are overgrown just like in America- yum.
GO USA! I agree with 13- let's see some Aussie troops. Aussies are overgrown just like in America- yum.
28
Team USA has hawtter bods, no question. Especially the guy with the pervy Selleck-esque moustache.
HOWEVER!
Bri-tish accents make me hornier than a gay octopus at a boner buffet.
Decisions, decisions...
HOWEVER!
Bri-tish accents make me hornier than a gay octopus at a boner buffet.
Decisions, decisions...
26
@24 BECAUSE of Mr. Farmers Tan Hipster Beard, USA all the way.
But actually I am pretty sure the winner is us.
But actually I am pretty sure the winner is us.
25
If an Orthodontists without Borders group forms, they should first pay a call to the British Isles. Sheesh.
23
@22, true. I read a study a couple of years ago that looked at oral hygiene and health and the UK actually ranked far above the US in terms of having better overall oral health. They are just less likely to go in for cosmetic fixes for their teeth while Americans are more likely to go in for teeth whitening, veneers, braces for purely cosmetic reasons and the like.
22
@3,
People from the British Isles have a genetic predisposition for bad teeth. It's not the fault of their health care system.
People from the British Isles have a genetic predisposition for bad teeth. It's not the fault of their health care system.
20
Is it just me or do the majority of team UK look to be around 18-19? The only stand-out for me from the UK group is the man with the pipe (and I generally hate smokers).
I appreciate a fit biker/swimmer build more than a beefcake, but team USA wins by a wide margin simply for the fact that they all look like 'men', not 'boys'.
I appreciate a fit biker/swimmer build more than a beefcake, but team USA wins by a wide margin simply for the fact that they all look like 'men', not 'boys'.
19
How can I choose?! So much adorable hotness! I seriously can't get enough of troops singing pop songs. I could watch these all day.
15
If I had to take them as a whole the US wins. But there are one or two of those UK boys that blows all the others away.
What I want to see is one by some US Navy sailor boys. In my opinion they are the hottest of the servicemen, and why Iike fleet week even better than gay pride.
What I want to see is one by some US Navy sailor boys. In my opinion they are the hottest of the servicemen, and why Iike fleet week even better than gay pride.
14
Seriously, USA wins *easily* on grounds of hotness, teeth, overall body fitness, video production, and overall sense of fun. Proud to be an American for a change!
Can we please just keep doing this forever and ever for every country? We, straight ladies (and I'm sure gay dudes) are in man-heaven over these videos.
Can we please just keep doing this forever and ever for every country? We, straight ladies (and I'm sure gay dudes) are in man-heaven over these videos.
13
The US guys are fucking hotter. The British guys choreography is campy.
I say let's have the Canadians, Aussies, and Germans do their rendition then let's have a vote. The Aussie military guys would give the US guys competition and easily make the Brits look bad.
I say let's have the Canadians, Aussies, and Germans do their rendition then let's have a vote. The Aussie military guys would give the US guys competition and easily make the Brits look bad.
12
The teeth at the beginning were clearly down to fighting rather than dentistry (at a guess I'd attribute that to the British Friday night pint-and-a-punch-up culture). Does that make it better? I have no idea.
I like a nice wiry British man much better than a puffed up American beefcake, but my goodness it's excruciating watching fellow Brits try to dance.
I like a nice wiry British man much better than a puffed up American beefcake, but my goodness it's excruciating watching fellow Brits try to dance.
11
I'm not usually jingoistic, but I appreciated Team USA's greater willingness to release their inner divas. They were also more diverse (I like all kinds of mens) and more shirtless. So... USA! All the way!
10
@3 I've had health coverage my entire adult life, but it has never included dental. My parents had health coverage their ethire lives, and theirs never included dental. All of my dental work (and I've had plenty) has been paid for out-of-pocket. This really isn't about US system vs. British system.
9
...I never thought I'd see the day where Americans were camper and more fabulous than Brits. All my ethnic cliches need to be reexamined now.
2
So... the boys from the UK have much fewer instances of terrible facial hair, but the teeth and the poor production values force me to vote for USA.
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