I'm on hiatus while working on a manuscript for a new book. In the meantime, please enjoy these classic Savage Love letters pulled from previous columns. I will be back when the book is finished. —Dan
Originally published March 8, 2007:
I have a laptop at home. On occasion my best friend/roommate uses it to check her e-mail. On rare occasions her boyfriend uses it to check his e-mail—or so I thought.
I have some naughty pics on my computer. They're not on my desktop, so you can't accidentally open one. I never felt a need to secure them because, hey, it's my computer. The other day I went to "recent items" and a bunch of JPEGS were listed—pics of my tits, ass, panties, etc. Yesterday there were more of my private pictures in "recent items."
My best friend/roommate isn't bi, so it seems clear that her boyfriend has been looking at my pics. I'm embarrassed, my feelings are hurt, and I'm annoyed. Do I tell my best friend/roommate? I want to rip someone a new one but I don't want to destroy my best friend/roommate's relationship. Chicks flip over shit like this. What should I do? Besides securing my naughty photos in the future, of course.
Seeking Out Peeping Tom
My response after the jump...
He's already seen your ass, SOPT, so write "Fuck you, [his name here]!" on your ass with a black Sharpie, take some pics, and leave them on your laptop for your best friend/roommate's boyfriend to find. When they pop up in "recent items," SOPT, tear him that new asshole—the next time you see him alone. Then stuff this warning up it: If he touches your laptop again, you'll tell his girlfriend what he's been up to.
And here's hoping he wasn't up to e-mailing your photos to his friends, ESPN.com, mygirlfriendshotroommate.com, or any one of the three trillion amateur porn sites out there. Modern technology has placed the means of porn production in all of our hands, people, granting each and every one of us the power to take unlimited pics of our asses, tits, panties, etc. But with great power comes great responsibility. If you don't want your dirty pics made public, secure them. Password on the laptop, kids, dirty discs under lock and key. Because once an internet porn star, always an internet porn star.