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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Crime Officer, May I Have a Moment to Finish Masturbating?

Posted by on Tue, Nov 20, 2012 at 11:42 AM

Posted by news intern Chelsea Kellogg

The SPD Blotter has posted a report about a man spotted in a Columbia City last Wednesday, pants around his ankles, "in the throes of self-flagellation." Responding to a complaint, officers arrived in an alley at 3:34 p.m.—aka, in broad daylight—to allegedly find the 35-year-old man rubbing one out on a staircase. "When officers told the man to stop, he refused and said he was almost finished," the report says.

The Seattle Police Department notes that the suspect had been arrested before. He was booked into jail for indecent exposure.

 

Comments (16) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
1
Free Muede!
Posted by Randy Beaver on November 20, 2012 at 11:41 AM
ScrawnyKayaker 2
So, did he make it, or not?
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 20, 2012 at 11:48 AM
ScrawnyKayaker 3
@1 Nice try.
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 20, 2012 at 11:48 AM
Allyn 4
Yes, but did they let him finish?!?
Posted by Allyn on November 20, 2012 at 11:48 AM
Gern Blanston 5
His momma always taught him to finish what he started.
Posted by Gern Blanston on November 20, 2012 at 11:53 AM
McGee 6
#Champion!
Posted by McGee on November 20, 2012 at 11:54 AM
rob! 7
If flagellating, doing it wong. (I'll spot you an "R," Chelsea.)
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on November 20, 2012 at 12:13 PM
8
I know it's Jonah Spangenthal-Lee words, but unless the guy was holding a whip in one hand and whipping himself while doing it, he wasn't "in the throes of self-flagellation."
Posted by TJ on November 20, 2012 at 12:24 PM
Cynic Romantic 9
Finally, a legitimate use for a taser.
Posted by Cynic Romantic on November 20, 2012 at 12:27 PM
wisepunk 10
My best friend manages the Alehouse, and just happened to take a vacation day on Wednesday. Otherwise, he would have been the one to discover this creep. He was trying to grab women on the street, one of them ran into the alehouse to report it, and the rest is history.
Posted by wisepunk on November 20, 2012 at 12:48 PM
Pick1 11
Well he's going to get the public indecency charge either way. Might as well let the man finish, it's just common courtesy.
Posted by Pick1 on November 20, 2012 at 12:48 PM
12
"self-flagellation" was not my creation, SPD wrote it in the report, check the link.
Posted by Unpaid Intern on November 20, 2012 at 1:32 PM
Original Andrew 13
Who hasn't been there, really?
Posted by Original Andrew on November 20, 2012 at 2:23 PM
14
@13 "Who hasn't been there, really?"

Columbia City? Not once!
Posted by The Renton Police Even Hand You A Tissue on November 20, 2012 at 2:39 PM
15
Apparently self-flagellation isn't what it used to be.
Posted by Sandman on November 20, 2012 at 3:15 PM
16
Pepper spray!
Posted by newbob on November 20, 2012 at 9:50 PM

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