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Monday, November 19, 2012

The Walking Dead Chitty-Chat Club!

Posted by on Mon, Nov 19, 2012 at 11:09 AM

Hi, everybody! And welcome once again to The Walking Dead Chitty-Chat club where we chitty-cha... [RINNNG! RINNNNG!]. Wait. What's that? [RINNNG! RINNNNG!] Eww!! It's a weird looking phone! And it's attached to the wall! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! Adorable. [RINNNG! RINNNNG!] Hmm. Should I pick it up? Maybe whoever called would like to chitty-chat about last night's episode of The Walking Dead called "Hounded"! [RINNNG! RINNNNG!] Okay, I'm answering it! Check out our spoiler-filled conversation after the jump! Let's start [RINNNG! RINNNNG!] chitty-chatting!

Mmm... Hello?

How am I supposed to text on this thing?

[RINNNG! RINNNNG!]

Me: Mmm... Hello?
Ghost: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Me: Hey, why are you booing me?? I haven't even started yet!!
Ghost: No, I'm "booing" because I'm a ghost!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Me: Well, can you maybe use something other than "Boo"? Commenters have been hurting my feelings lately.
Ghost: Oh. OH! Umm... sure... no problem... how about "WHOOAAAAAOOOOOOOOHHH!"
Me: Nice. (Awkward pause.) Sooooo. You're a ghost.
Ghost: Yeeeeeeppers.
Me: Well.. that's... interesting, I guess. (Awkward pause.) So did you watch The Walking Dead last night?
Ghost: Totally! And oh, my god—it was TERRIBLE.
Me: HA!! That's exactly what I thought!
Ghost: Worst episode EVER.
Me: Yes, yes, a thousand times YES.
Ghost: That entire phone sequence was RIDICULOUS.
Me: Ugh! SO... BAD.
Ghost: I mean, I get that Rick is a little upset right now... what with his wife being in that zombie's belly.
Me: Totally understandable...
Ghost: But imagining dead people calling him on the phone? To tell him he should take care of his baby? If I had eyes, they'd be rolling out of my head right now!
Me: At least it inspired him to take a shower.
Ghost: There's that. Oh, and maybe Farmer McDrunky will tell the rest of the gang that Rick's gone koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs.
Me: Cocoa Puffs are gross.
Ghost: Yeah, they are kinda gross.
Me: The only great part of this episode was when Michonne was on the run from the Woodbury hillbillies and sliced open that zombie, and his guts spilled out on her like a Vegas slot machine.
Ghost: Ha! Classic. OH! And what about that awkward/gross sex scene between the Governor and... and... what do you call her?
Me: Blondie McGunnerson.
Ghost: YEAH! Blondie McGunnerson. So gross.
Me: Those two idiots are made for each other. They're like my parents—two totally wrong people who are wrong all the time.
Ghost: So Blondie's all like, "Blech, I hate fighting, no, I love fighting."
Me: And then she's all like, "I want to work the wall—but I want to ruin my chances of working the wall by doing something I know I shouldn't do."
Ghost: And then she's all like, "Ooh, Governor! Let me make sex with you!"
Me: HAHAHAAAA!!
Ghost: HAHAHAAHAAAA!!
Ghost & Me: GROSS.
Me: Speaking of people who spend too much time fucking, Glenn and Maggie get captured by Rednecky McBayonet Arm...
Ghost: That's kind of a clunky nickname.
Me: Yeah, I guess... anyway I bet you five bucks that the no-longer racist, baby-cuddling Darryl is gonna kill him!
Ghost: That would make logical sense.
Me: And he's gonna do it with Carol—who everybody gave up on pretty quick, huh?
Ghost: Yeah, that was really weird. Carol disappears for two minutes, and everybody's like, "OH, WELL, SHE'S DEAD." I mean, she's a simp... but c'mon. Give her a little credit.
Me: And did you follow that weird story Daryl told Carl about his Mom and Virginia Slims? I fell asleep twice.
Ghost: SO boring. Hmmm... are we forgetting anything?
Me: Just Michonne showing up at the prison. But I bet she just wants to use the phone!
Ghost: HAAAAA!! That phone thing was SO STUPID!
Me: Well, on the upside, next week we get to see Glenn being tortured... so it can't be any worse.
Ghost: That'll be fun!
Me: Yeah. [Awkward pause] Yeah.
Ghost: Yeah... SO!
Me: Yeah, I gotta get back to work.
Ghost: Well, this was fun. Maybe we should do it a—
Me: Mmm... maybe, sure. I'm pretty busy.
Ghost: OH! Oh, well... yeah. I'm really busy too.
Me: Sooooo...
Ghost: Sooooo yeah. [Awkward pause.]
Me: [Awkward pause.]
Ghost: [Awkward pause.]
Ghost & Me: BYE!!
[Both hang up.]

So the ghost and I are in agreement... WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE? Let's get chitty-chatting! (And don't call me... I'll call you.)

Can you PLEASE get off the phone? Im expecting a call from the prosthetic limb company!
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Can you PLEASE get off the phone? I'm expecting a call from the prosthetic limb company!"

 

Comments (16) RSS

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Theodore Gorath 1
It is not a ghost, but rather a simple side effect of Rick's growing insanity. Just wait till you see how long Rick carries that phone around with him.

It would have worked a lot better if they had been hinting towards his eventual emotional breakdown before this episode (as the comics did), instead of trying to cram it into two episodes so that more zombie skulls could be knifed.

I never quite understand the criticism this show gets for having the gall to have character development and dialogue. If it is all zombie killing, it would be incredibly stupid and simple, and eventually boring. Of course, if it is all hanging around and talking, you get the 12 episode farm story arc (shudder).
Posted by Theodore Gorath on November 19, 2012 at 11:21 AM · Report this
2
The season started with a bang and now it is turning into a rather boring whimper. They need to pick up the pace. When I read that the Governor and Michonne would be in this season I was thrilled to see how they'd bring into the screen the horrific storyline from the comic but, so far, it's becoming boring fast. The Woodbury storyline is just not compelling enough, and the post-cleanup prison is getting dull.
Posted by BrownBear on November 19, 2012 at 11:26 AM · Report this
keshmeshi 3
@1,

I have no problem with character development. What I have a problem with is terrible writing. I mean, what the fuck was Lori's deal anyway? Just citing one example among many, she effectively tells Rick that he needs to kill Shane; he kills Shane; and she tears him a new asshole. The writers never address what was wrong with her or what her motivations were (or, if they did, I missed it). Basically, they just made her a terrible person whenever the occasion called for it.

And all of this goes hand in hand with so much other dumb shit the writers and production people throw in there. Like that the morning after pill causes abortions. Or that Baptist churches contain crucifixes. In the second season, Lori was drinking from a *cold* bottle of water.
Posted by keshmeshi on November 19, 2012 at 11:49 AM · Report this
4
@1
"I never quite understand the criticism this show gets for having the gall to have character development and dialogue."

The problem is that most of the character development is stupid.
They start out stupid.
And they get more stupid back story.
Then they do stupid things.
And the end up even more stupid than they began.

The farm is a great example of that.
Stupid vet thinks that the zombies can get better.
Stupid guy gets eaten by a zombie when he was wandering around alone in the dark.
The farm is overrun because none of the characters put any effort into building any useful defenses.

The town is also stupid.
So they have a "wall".
But every house behind that wall has street-level windows and doors.
It looks just like it would have BEFORE the zombie uprising.

How about some character development where they realize that they are NOT living the same life that they had before the zombie uprising?
Posted by fairly.unbalanced on November 19, 2012 at 11:58 AM · Report this
sirkowski 5
Talking to dead people is a terrible television cliché by now. Be they actual ghosts or just inner dialogue metaphors.

I thought that episode had come strong moments. Like Michonne kicking ass, the kidnapping and the redneck finding the girl who's name I don't remember. But the rest was either boring or stupid.
Posted by sirkowski http://www.missdynamite.com on November 19, 2012 at 12:15 PM · Report this
derrickito 6
fuck you, haters! i love this show
Posted by derrickito on November 19, 2012 at 2:04 PM · Report this
7
@4 is completely correct. The show is insufferable.

It's only popular because it has:
- some passible acting
- trendy gritty cinematography
- a good prosthesis and CGI budget
- the "pop-culture-du-jour" gimmick of zombies.

Take away any one of those things and it falls apart.

For all the PR it get's as a self-proclaimed "intelligent horror" show the writing, the story, and the character development are stupefyingly bad. Especially considering the source material. In the age of Breaking Bad there is no excuse for writing this shitty and fan-boy pandering.

They literally have not done one original thing with this show. The writing exists to keep the characters as morons so they can cynically throw them into gory action sequences every episode.
Posted by tkc on November 19, 2012 at 2:37 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 8
@7,

It's pretty amazing that it's AMC that produces such a terrible show. The channel of Breaking Bad and Mad Men. Although I do love to hate it.

The cinematography is shitty. Although I do agree that the prosthetics and makeup are top notch.
Posted by keshmeshi on November 19, 2012 at 3:39 PM · Report this
Summerisle 9
Yet you still watch it? The reason I don't watch Family Guy is because it isn't funny. Why would I want to repeat that every week?
Posted by Summerisle http://www.facebook.com/biggieJ?ref=name on November 19, 2012 at 3:51 PM · Report this
10
I gotta admit -- the zombies keep me coming back. But I fast forward all the Blondie scenes (I don't care if I miss anything she says), and I fast forwarded through all the 'Rick on the phone' scenes.
Everyone's right, though - these people are so consistently dumb it's hard to believe they'd survive a weekend power outage much less a zombiepocalypse.
Posted by Buddyboy on November 19, 2012 at 9:57 PM · Report this
JensR 11
@9 my thoughts exactly... (not the Family Guy part, I like Family Guy).

Possible Spoilery-text below:
The phone thing... oh ffs why don't you guys read the damn comic? He's insane, any second he will notice the phone isn't plugged in. So yeah... oh and then someone will die when the governor finds the prison (the farmer). Handless-dude is a stand-in for a part of the comicbook verson of the governor. I kinda bet he will be the one to cut someones head of on the back of a truck infront of the prison with Michones sword when they try to force the people inside to come out.
The Sheriffs wife was doomed from the start (she died just after they leave the prison in the comic by a random shot. The shows version was better)

If you wan't to watch the same dull zombie-slaughter why don't you guys just download a copy of [insert random Zombie-killer movie here of which there are thousands] and let the rest of us enjoy this?
Posted by JensR http://ohyran.se on November 20, 2012 at 2:20 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 12
@4: Ha, why do you keep watching it every week if it is so dumb?

You say the people on the farm were stupid for not building walls, but the people at Woodbury are stupid because they built walls, but did not put their homes on stilts, or destroyed the ground level entry? Geez, why didn't they just get a spaceship and live in orbit? Big stupidheads.

Keep in mind that a big part of the comics was that the survivors were slowly learning about their new world, and people learn by trial and error/mistakes. As a viewer who has watched tons of zombie movies, YOU know it can not be cured but the characters do not. If you are going to say that people wandering off makes the show stupid, then every horror movie ever made is stupid.

Besides, you sound like a ten year old. "The characters are stupid, I think the back stories are stupid, the writers are big stupid heads, and everyone is stupid."
Posted by Theodore Gorath on November 20, 2012 at 4:07 AM · Report this
13
Rick: Next time u call use my cell number. I'm ditching the land line.
Ghost: Uhh. Ok.
Posted by Bean on November 20, 2012 at 7:57 AM · Report this
14
@12
"Besides, you sound like a ten year old."

Yeah, I get that from the Twilight fans, too.
You see, I'm criticizing the series.
But you are attacking me.

"Geez, why didn't they just get a spaceship and live in orbit?"

That would be the same if they then built houses just like their old houses on that spaceship.
Wait, wasn't that the design on the old "The Starlost" series?
And didn't that series suck?

"As a viewer who has watched tons of zombie movies, YOU know it can not be cured but the characters do not."

No. The point is that the veterinarian who is capable of operating on a child to remove a bullet cannot tell the difference between a sick human and an animated corpse with obvious fatal injuries.
Yet most of the other characters (without his knowledge of anatomy) CAN figure out that dead people are walking around.

"... slowly learning ..." "... learn by trial and error/mistakes."

But that's the problem.
They are NOT learning.
It's been about 9 or 10 months (got pregnant and had baby) since the zombie uprising started.
Yet they're still wandering around alone.
Only the bad guys post guards.
Only the bad guys actively "kill" zombies near their town.
Their primary combat technique is either shoot it with something OR run up with a short hand-held weapon and hit its brain.
Which is great until you slip and fall.
Which will never happen unless the writers need it to happen.
That's bad writing.
Posted by fairly.unbalanced on November 20, 2012 at 11:01 AM · Report this
15
Maybe this is a stupid question, but why does no one refer to them as zombies? They're walkers, biters, turned...but never plain old zombies.
Posted by PoorYorick on November 20, 2012 at 6:36 PM · Report this
matt 16
If anyone wants to read, you know, less snarky/grumpy commentary, try the AV Club:
http://www.avclub.com/articles/hounded,8…
Posted by matt on November 22, 2012 at 6:36 PM · Report this

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