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News & ArtsTuesday, November 13, 2012
Politics
None Dare Call It Treason Mental Illness
Posted by Dan Savage on Tue, Nov 13, 2012 at 7:35 AM
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out:
Oh, the loneliness of being a Seattle Tea Party Patriot, especially after this last election. All around you: Liberals. Democrats. Obama supporters. People who think Dan Savage is really cool.
"It's getting harder and harder for me. I was at Trader Joe's, and I was glaring at everyone around me," says Keli Carender, 33, co-organizer of the local group. Carender's glaring took place at the Trader Joe's in the University District, a neighborhood that, for sure, is a bastion of libs. "I kept thinking I was surrounded by people who are destroying freedom,"says Carender. "It's starting to make me angry, not wanting to be around these people."
Carender might be familiar to some because she made national news back in February 2009 for putting together the first ever tea-party protest—at Westlake Park, with 120 or so people attending. Carender now works for the national Tea Party Patriots. She says she's seriously thinking about moving after her husband, Conor McNassar, a University of Washington math and physics major, is done with school. They're thinking maybe Texas, maybe Eastern Washington, a long ways from where she grew up on Mercer Island.
Who will bravely glare at Trader Joe's shoppers in the U-District once Keli moves away? Besides all the other crazy people in the U-District. Besides them. Who will glare?
UDDATE: I am sitting in my pajamas at my dining room table, reading the print edition of the New York Times, listening to NPR's Morning Edition, deleting harassing emails (where's my shirtless FBI agent when I need him?), and drinking tea. LOOSE LEAF TEA, bitches! Woot! Woot! So, yeah, feeling pretty cool.
78
Keri could move to Kentucky, the land of Mitch McConnell. There, if she doesn't want to use her maiden name as her middle name and her husband's name as her last name, she'll have to pay the court fees to get the judge to change her name. Because unless things have changed a lot in Kentucky in 15 years, without a court order (documents like passports and stuff are inconclusive), a woman can't keep her own name when she marries.
73
@47: And Houston's mayor is a lesbian. And forget about Austin! Austin held Leslie as a widely respected pillar of the community, allows women to go topless (although the only place I've seen anyone take advantage of that law is at Eeyore's Birthday Party), and, if you look at an electoral map of Texas, generally stands out as a shining beacon of blue in a sea of red.
72
No, stay out of Texas. We've already reached our quota of loonies. Although, I agree that it would be hilarious if she moved here to Austin (or even Houston) and realized that big cities in Texas are just like big cities in other states...extremely liberal. She'd probably have to move out to some shithole like Cut and Shoot, TX. No Trader Joe's or Whole Foods there!
Also, may I strongly recommend Pima County, Arizona? Border fences for everyone!
Also, may I strongly recommend Pima County, Arizona? Border fences for everyone!
71
Indian, I hope, not China, although one of the highlights of going to New York for me was a visit to a little shop that had its own China Rose tea. And I cannot recall ever being disappointed bwith any tea from Kenya. But green would displease Dame Judi Dench.
70
I hope she decides on Texas, then moves to Austin where she can carry on her ridiculous persecution complex unabated.
Although what I actually hope is that she has some sort of personal crisis from which she emerges safe and unharmed but during which she has to rely on government assistance in some way.
Although on that point: she's married to a graduate student in mathematics? There is a near-zero chance that he is NOT receiving federal and/or state funding. I wonder if she knows.
Although what I actually hope is that she has some sort of personal crisis from which she emerges safe and unharmed but during which she has to rely on government assistance in some way.
Although on that point: she's married to a graduate student in mathematics? There is a near-zero chance that he is NOT receiving federal and/or state funding. I wonder if she knows.
69
Yeah, funny thing about looking for someone else to blame. The person who deserves the blame is YOU. We didn't vote Tea Party in this country because you offered us conspiracy theories, nonsense, xenophobia, homophobia, and other examples of gross douchbaggery. Also, your kind got into office and promptly started doing exactly what they said they were going to fight. I mean, seriously... your shining example of glory is Michelle "I'm against gay marriage because I'm in one" Bachmann, who puts all of her pent up sexual frustration into looking for Muslims. Get with the times, stop being so damned stupid, and offer solutions, not ridiculous witch hunts.
67
I was wondering who the crazy woman was who was accusing me of destroying freedom while I was trying to get a frozen goat cheese pizza. Mystery solved!
66
Keli-
Please don't move to E Washington. We don't need you added to the other 70% that vote R, nor do we need to read any more of your twisted letters to the editor in our local rags. Please seriously consider Texas, or even Idaho. Just please leave Washington.
Please don't move to E Washington. We don't need you added to the other 70% that vote R, nor do we need to read any more of your twisted letters to the editor in our local rags. Please seriously consider Texas, or even Idaho. Just please leave Washington.
65
Might I recommend Rathdrum, Idaho, to you, Keli dear? Lots of "your kind" out thataway.
Also, just by the by...people voting for things you don't like isn't actually taking away your "freedom." It's disagreement, not tyranny.
Also, just by the by...people voting for things you don't like isn't actually taking away your "freedom." It's disagreement, not tyranny.
64
She'll fit right in in Eastern Washington. Spokane even has a Trader Joe's, and even another organic grocery store. And almost everybody here is white! The only problem is, some of them are meth-heads and might stab you.
62
@57 what was more funny was the time I got yelled at my a customer for having apples in the spring from New Zealand (you know, when they're fresh, as opposed to locally grown ones, which would be pretty old by the time). They said it was because the owner was a Republican and didn't care about the environment. Long story short: whole foods is a grocery store, nothing more nothing less.
61
The only "freedom" that liberals DON'T support, and that teabaggers do, is the "freedom" to victimize other people.
I wish these fucktards could get that bit of non-rocket-science into their heads. It's not like there isn't plenty of room for it.
I wish these fucktards could get that bit of non-rocket-science into their heads. It's not like there isn't plenty of room for it.
60
Self-segregation is real. Sometimes based on race or ethnicity or economics or religion, and sometimes based on politics.
I think of my gay best friend, or best gay friend, who moved back to Oregon, in part, because he and his hubby wanted to escape a red state (Georgia) and move to a blue state.
Or my folks, when they wanted a fresh start after my Dad's job situation blew up, selected Arizona, in part, because they're Republicans.
So a Mercer Island-born teabagger yearning for Texas, or some other place where like-minded folks predominate, isn't really all that weird.
As to the glaring at U-District Trader Joe's shoppers, while thinking paranoid ad hominem thoughts, that does qualify as a little weird.
I think of my gay best friend, or best gay friend, who moved back to Oregon, in part, because he and his hubby wanted to escape a red state (Georgia) and move to a blue state.
Or my folks, when they wanted a fresh start after my Dad's job situation blew up, selected Arizona, in part, because they're Republicans.
So a Mercer Island-born teabagger yearning for Texas, or some other place where like-minded folks predominate, isn't really all that weird.
As to the glaring at U-District Trader Joe's shoppers, while thinking paranoid ad hominem thoughts, that does qualify as a little weird.
59
"Is there a way of dressing that leads conservatives to immediately and correctly identify who is a liberal at Trader Joe's?"
I know, it's all the Hawaiian shirts, right?
I know, it's all the Hawaiian shirts, right?
58
Guys.
Guys.
I've got it.
We need to set up a preserve for these self-involved teabaggers.
We can fence off parts of Texas, Oklahoma, and Nebraska.
We can fill the preserve up with row after row of full-length mirrors.
Then they can spend all day jerking off in front of them.
Problem solved.
Guys.
I've got it.
We need to set up a preserve for these self-involved teabaggers.
We can fence off parts of Texas, Oklahoma, and Nebraska.
We can fill the preserve up with row after row of full-length mirrors.
Then they can spend all day jerking off in front of them.
Problem solved.
57
@54,
It's funny to me that a teabagger shops at the popular-with-liberals Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. (And, yes, I'm aware that Whole Foods is run by a libertarian douchebag, just don't let the customers know.)
Shouldn't she be killing herself with Pop Tarts purchased from Wal-Mart?
It's funny to me that a teabagger shops at the popular-with-liberals Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. (And, yes, I'm aware that Whole Foods is run by a libertarian douchebag, just don't let the customers know.)
Shouldn't she be killing herself with Pop Tarts purchased from Wal-Mart?
55
You should forward the harassing emails to the FBI.
I used to do that. Got bored after they imprisoned a whole bunch of them.
Nowadays I just report them as spam, since they're trying to sell me their failed ideology.
I used to do that. Got bored after they imprisoned a whole bunch of them.
Nowadays I just report them as spam, since they're trying to sell me their failed ideology.
54
When I worked at whole foods in Roosevelt I had the pleasure of helping Keli, she was a classical whole foods shopper (some of you were rad, so ignore what I'm about to say), insanely rude to both the workers and other guests. When I saw her picture this morning I simply thought, I recognize that person, man, I am glad I left that place.
53
Trader Joes is always an occasion to glare. The only time I was ever able to part aisles with ease was when pushing my broke-kneed friend in a wheelchair. We were like Moses that day!
In sum, if you want people to get out of your way at TJ's AND be nice about it, use a wheelchair.
In sum, if you want people to get out of your way at TJ's AND be nice about it, use a wheelchair.
52
That Trader Joe's is just way too small. It is hard to find what you're looking for there. I wish they would expand or find a larger building. maybe they could move into one of those huge developments that are being built along 11th and 12th just south of 47th. The staff at that TJ's are very friendly, though. And Peroni is only $8.99 a six pack. Best thing to do is go in the morning on a weekday to avoid the crowds.
51
@11 The greatest freedom that is being destroyed is the one to mooch off others by going without health insurance and then winding up in the hospital with some sort of grave illness or injury completely lacking the means to pay for your care. Us liberals have nothing on the tea party when it comes to looking out for the rights of moochers.
50
I think the very crazy part is that she thinks anyone recognizes her at all. And when the Udistrict Trader Joes is busy I glare at everyone in there because crowds make me tense. Sorry about that, everyone.
49
Keli Carender, like most her ilk, are nearly incapable of self awareness and honest introspection. Spoiled narcissists who are fast becoming culturally irrelevant.
Rather than adapt they cloister themselves in reality denial bubbles where they are the perpetual victims despite their legacy of entitlements and privileges - which they have done nothing to earn. Mercer Island? Fleeing to Texas? C'mon. This script writes itself.
She supports the same failed policies over and over and expects some magically different outcome. Expects to be forever immune from history. And when faced with the consequences of her ignorance, chooses to double down on blaming literally the least powerful people in society for her fears. The working poor.
They got shellacked in this election. And they simply cannot face facts that history turned against them.
Which is good for the rest of us, actually.
Rather than adapt they cloister themselves in reality denial bubbles where they are the perpetual victims despite their legacy of entitlements and privileges - which they have done nothing to earn. Mercer Island? Fleeing to Texas? C'mon. This script writes itself.
She supports the same failed policies over and over and expects some magically different outcome. Expects to be forever immune from history. And when faced with the consequences of her ignorance, chooses to double down on blaming literally the least powerful people in society for her fears. The working poor.
They got shellacked in this election. And they simply cannot face facts that history turned against them.
Which is good for the rest of us, actually.
47
If she decides to move to Texas, she's going to have to be more selective about which city than in the past. Dallas has a black Democratic man as mayor, and they've re-elected a lesbian sheriff.
46
Yes, what kind of tea? Oolong, black, green, white? Yellow? And what brand? Inquiring minds, you know.
45
I just want to say that I glare at people every time I am in the U. District Trader Joe's. It has nothing to do with their politics - I just want them to get the fuck out of my way. That store has the most loitery customers in the world. Buy the damned sandwich already lady...it ain't a life decision!
PS> Harumph!
PS> Harumph!
44
Hey Keli Carender:
If you really want your voice heard, and to make the Tea Party an actual party, then why don't you run for office? It sounds like you live in the 43rd District, where you very possibly could've made the General Election ballot for State Representative this year.
Would you win? No. But you'd be on the ballot, and occasionally on the radio, and definitely in the Stranger (who I'm sure would lavish attention upon you).
Or you could hang out at the U-District Trader Joe's, with your bottle of Two Buck Chuck...and a big glass of whine.
If you really want your voice heard, and to make the Tea Party an actual party, then why don't you run for office? It sounds like you live in the 43rd District, where you very possibly could've made the General Election ballot for State Representative this year.
Would you win? No. But you'd be on the ballot, and occasionally on the radio, and definitely in the Stranger (who I'm sure would lavish attention upon you).
Or you could hang out at the U-District Trader Joe's, with your bottle of Two Buck Chuck...and a big glass of whine.
41
I have it on pretty good authority that her husband is actually one of those America-destroying liberals. Yet another one of those politically mismatched relationships I just don't get, except it's usually the dude who's conservative (if hetero).
40
As a means of "reaching across the political abyss" that defines the current relationship between Democrats and Far Right Republican wackos, I will offer to help Keli pack her bags for her proposed move to Eastern Washington, or Texas (or anywhere else besides Washington State).
P.S. There are pills and therapy that may be able to help you live a less paranoid life.
P.S. There are pills and therapy that may be able to help you live a less paranoid life.
38
Glaring is so Seattle, how will she survive anywhere else? If she moves to Arizona, she''ll have to step up her game and move on to mass murder, or run someone over in her SUV, at the very least.
37
ME! ME! I'll glare at people madly! Ooooo mmmmm <glare!> Grrrrr, yeahhh... <glare!> Those... mfrknng People! <glare! glare!!>
THAT'll show 'em how they're literally RUINING this country! People who love each other can now form live-long bonds recognized by the STATE = LESS FREDOM FOR ME. Making sure EVERYFUCKINGONE has Goddam HEALTHCARE ... ruining EVEYTHING. Bastards.
< GLARE!!! >
THAT'll show 'em how they're literally RUINING this country! People who love each other can now form live-long bonds recognized by the STATE = LESS FREDOM FOR ME. Making sure EVERYFUCKINGONE has Goddam HEALTHCARE ... ruining EVEYTHING. Bastards.
< GLARE!!! >
35
Those that have already proven themselves trustworthy have no need to say, "Trust me." So, by extension, when someone feels the need to officially dub themselves a patriot, they are unwittingly telling the world that they are anything but.
34
Maybe she thinks if she glares hard enough, she can make liberal's head explode. In reality, she's just going to give herself an aneurysm.
Oh, and Dan, you're the bees knees!
Oh, and Dan, you're the bees knees!
33
Next week's "I, Anonymous" column:
You Freedom Destroyers with your carts plodding like pod people in the skinny aisles at Trader Joe's! Stop destroying my freedom! Stop taking all the Mandarin Orange Chicken! And the gingersnaps! Try fasting and using your savings to pay down your student loans and the national debt, morans[sic]."
You Freedom Destroyers with your carts plodding like pod people in the skinny aisles at Trader Joe's! Stop destroying my freedom! Stop taking all the Mandarin Orange Chicken! And the gingersnaps! Try fasting and using your savings to pay down your student loans and the national debt, morans[sic]."
31
Don't let the door hit you on your way out, Keli Carender. Maybe you can move to Texas and help them secede. Or perhaps you could be the one to convince all the other unAmerican Tea Partiers such as yourself to leave the country.
29
Only in the Northwest is glaring at people a form of protest. Perhaps next she'll talk to a friend about them just within their earshot. Or if she really wants to ramp it up, a stern letter to the Rant and Rave section.
28
Re the freedoms that have been taken away from them, they're kind of obscure and hard to see. One is "prayer in schools" and another is "the right of religious employers to refuse to cover birth control under mandatory health insurance". The first isn't real and the second doesn't affect any tea party loons personally. They just like whining.
26
OK, while I think she is nuts just for being a tea partier, I do kind of understand her feelings.
I felt exactly the same when Prop 8 passed here in California. I didn't want anything to do with anyone I didn't already know because I knew there was a good chance they voted against my rights. Walking down the street I felt surrounded by enemies. I lost any sense of trust in other people.
Of course I think that Ms. Carender is crazy for thinking that liberals are the one's destroying freedom. But I do understand how she is feeling having lost. It took me a while to get over feeling that way myself after Prop 8, and there is still a little nagging bit of that feeling that rests in the back of my mind that I do my best to ignore.
I felt exactly the same when Prop 8 passed here in California. I didn't want anything to do with anyone I didn't already know because I knew there was a good chance they voted against my rights. Walking down the street I felt surrounded by enemies. I lost any sense of trust in other people.
Of course I think that Ms. Carender is crazy for thinking that liberals are the one's destroying freedom. But I do understand how she is feeling having lost. It took me a while to get over feeling that way myself after Prop 8, and there is still a little nagging bit of that feeling that rests in the back of my mind that I do my best to ignore.
25
Damn commie-liberal loose leaf tea - doesn't know proper boundaries without a premade teabag, and it's probably some effete fancy organic free-range cage-free tea...
What kind?
What kind?
24
No no, please please don't move to Texas, we're working hard to ridicule and marginalize your people down here! A long road, but it's starting to pay off...
22
February 2009? What recent event might have pushed her to invoke the start of the American Revolution, the Boston Tea Party?
Here's a good answer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hde4s-xBh…
Here's a good answer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hde4s-xBh…
21
Trader Joe's was probably full of university students, some of them international and thus ineligible to vote (Keli Carender might explain how they are destroying freedom), and university students who did vote and voted to Approve R-74 and I-502. How do those voters destroy freedom?
The logic is not clear here. Is there a way of dressing that leads conservatives to immediately and correctly identify who is a liberal at Trader Joe's? Because if K. Carender were at TJ's, unless she was in an Uncle Sam outfit (maybe she saves that for her hot nights with Conor), being white and under 35, she could have dressed the way most white Americans under 35 dress, and be indistinguishable.
The logic is not clear here. Is there a way of dressing that leads conservatives to immediately and correctly identify who is a liberal at Trader Joe's? Because if K. Carender were at TJ's, unless she was in an Uncle Sam outfit (maybe she saves that for her hot nights with Conor), being white and under 35, she could have dressed the way most white Americans under 35 dress, and be indistinguishable.
18
I have a message for Ms. Carender: it can be pretty lonely being an out, gay, liberal Democrat in a small town in Louisiana. But I don't spend at my time at Wal-Mart glaring at the other customers and resenting them for their political views. Get a grip, already.
15
@11
Thank you. I hear so many people talking about how Obama is destroying freedom. How? Which parts?
Thank you. I hear so many people talking about how Obama is destroying freedom. How? Which parts?
13
Ms. Carender exemplifies the Republican ideal of "love America, hate Americans". I'm surrounded by this type of person in western VA. They are an unending source of amusement.
11
She is a 'patriot' and 'libs are destroying freedom'. We need our media to call them on this bullshit, immediately and often.
Which freedom, exactly, was destroyed? Can she clarify for us, or will her head explode?
Which freedom, exactly, was destroyed? Can she clarify for us, or will her head explode?
10
I went to college (undergraduate) with her husband. Still not entirely sure what to make of this.
Sorry for the anon-post. I have an account, but I'd rather he not find out about this.
Sorry for the anon-post. I have an account, but I'd rather he not find out about this.
9
You know, if wherever you go you're constantly surrounded by pleasant, respectful people you are convinced are out to get you, they have pills for that.
May she find happiness someday, without losing it altogether and engaging in mass murder.
May she find happiness someday, without losing it altogether and engaging in mass murder.
6
This is the gal who used to dress as Liberty Belle, right? Maybe she and Phoenix Jones can commiserate on how people don't quite take them seriously enough.
2
I hope her husband is paying for school himself. No state or federal subsidies, no federal grants. Otherwise she is also helping destroying freedom.
1
I don't think all of us think Dan is "cool". Someone who has done many great things without doubt but "cool"? Eh...that's pushing it. :)
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