Borsalino's Pizza & Pasta occupies that weird fucking castle on Eastlake right near the University Bridge, across the street from the Red Robin where Ted Bundy once worked. (It closed a while ago, but it's still there, empty. You can park there, Borsalino's staff says.) Borsalino's exterior is a gabled, turreted, stuccoed, and trellised wonderland, and in the dining area, the fake wishing well and fake awnings and fake foliage impart the enchantment of a courtyard of yore, so why not speak in a fun English Renaissance accent or wear your halo of braided lilacs? Plenty of muted colors, short-pile carpeting, and mall-cafeteria-style chairs add balance, and though these parts are seemingly plain, Borsalino's throbs with a distant and heavy glamour. It's probably leftover from the '80s, when Soundgarden and the Melvins played here, along with lesser-known bands like Cat Butt and the Thrown Ups, and the venue was called Scoundrel's Lair. (This name is so dumb, it seems to be making fun of itself.)
Happy hours: Mon–Thurs 7:30–9:30 pm.
Happy-hour drink specials: $3 wells; $1 off pints—this means $4 Roger's Pilsner, $4 Blue Moon, $4 Pyramid Hefeweizen, $4.50 Peroni, more.