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Friday, November 9, 2012

The Friday Morning News

Posted by on Fri, Nov 9, 2012 at 8:54 AM

OMG, somebody please just put a bullet in me! The polls are in, and Hillary Clinton and Chris Christie are their respective parties' 2016 presidential favorites in New Hampshire! Sisyphus had it easy.

Crybaby. President Obama tears up while thanking his campaign staff. I betcha that's something a President Romney never would've done. (You know... thanked his staff.)

Lemmings. Lawmakers say there's a renewed, post-election urgency to avoid plunging off the fiscal cliff. Yeah. Sure. Whatever. I mean, austerity has worked so well for the Greeks, why shouldn't we try it here?

Loser. Despite telling reporters that his math says he'll win, Republican Rob McKenna is still trailing Democrat Jay Inslee in Washington's governor's race, and by pretty much the same margin.

Government can't do anything right. Except, you know, restore New York City's storm-devastated subway system faster than anyone thought possible.

When will government stop infringing on our personal freedoms? First they come for our giant octopuses, next they'll come for our guns.

I know somebody who was clearly descended from apes. Charles Darwin received nearly 4,000 write-in votes against Congressman Paul Broun (R-GA), who had famously derided evolution as "lies straight from the pit of hell."

A very attractive candidate. Actress Ashley Judd refused to rule out a 2014 challenge to Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY).

Quick, somebody bash him in the head with a ballot box! Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad, in the middle of a bloody civil war, told Russian television that his fate can only be decided "through the ballot boxes."

And finally, I would've tacked on a video, but Dan already posted them all.

 

Comments (24) RSS

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1
octopuses.
Posted by jBee on November 9, 2012 at 9:01 AM
Catalina Vel-DuRay 2
Speaking of government employees, let me just add that Your Seattle City Light still has two crews back east helping with the clean up. The Long Islander's just adore them.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay http://www.danlangdon.com on November 9, 2012 at 9:05 AM
3
@1 They're both correct. But maybe "octopuses" would have been funnier.
Posted by Goldy on November 9, 2012 at 9:11 AM
sperifera 4
Octopodes would have been even funnier.
Posted by sperifera on November 9, 2012 at 9:19 AM
Wandergeist 5
Rob McKenna, based on your education budget plan we know you're good at fudging numbers, but right now you need to heed Megyn Kelly's immortal words and ask yourself "Is this just math that you do as a Republican to make yourself feel better, or is this real?"
Posted by Wandergeist on November 9, 2012 at 9:25 AM
6
Obama went to his staff and volunteers and sincerely thanked them.
Romney cut off his staff's credit cards so some of them were stranded on election night with no way to pay for a cab ride home.
Posted by tacomagirl on November 9, 2012 at 9:28 AM
7
Republicans, as a group, seem to have even more problems with math this last decade or two than Democrats.

At this point they're wasting hundreds of millions of dollars even before the election.

I mean: wow.
Posted by david on November 9, 2012 at 9:32 AM
Matt from Denver 8
Christie's chances at the 2016 nomination are directly proportional to the tenacity of the myth that he helped Obama win. Yes, praising the president's efforts did nothing to hurt his re-election, but one really has to wonder if it could have helped. Most Americans expect the government and president to do a good job in times of disaster. They only lose support when they fail, they don't gain it when they succeed. (Well, except maybe in the affected areas, but even brain-dead cons had to know that NY and NJ were going for Obama no matter what. I suppose they could try to say that's how he carried Pennsylvania, though.)

But if the base continues to view him as a Judas, he'll need all the institutional GOP support that Romney enjoyed, and more, to win the nomination.
Posted by Matt from Denver on November 9, 2012 at 9:33 AM
MacCrocodile 9
@3 - Have you been listening to Merriam-Webster again? "Octopi" is stupid and wrong. Stop it.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on November 9, 2012 at 9:49 AM
Sir Vic 10
Never bet against the Sandhogs!
Posted by Sir Vic on November 9, 2012 at 9:50 AM
kcrobinson 11
Goldy, who do you think is the best choice for president in 2016? I'm racking my head trying to come up with ideas. I agree that Biden and Hillary aren't really going to be good options. It certainly seems like the next presidential primary is going to be interesting with a high number of currently unknown candidates.
Posted by kcrobinson http://www.facebook.com/kcrobinson on November 9, 2012 at 10:02 AM
12
@2 was on a flight back east last week with a group of linemen from Washington, Oregon & Alaska. A number of them had done emergency/disaster support before and said that this was the fastest they'd ever been called up to help.
Posted by lambarch on November 9, 2012 at 10:05 AM
13
Never octopi. Octopuses or octopedes. But never octopi.
Posted by TJ on November 9, 2012 at 10:15 AM
ScrawnyKayaker 14
I am wearing my new Snorgtees Octopi shirt right now. Visual puns rule!
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 9, 2012 at 10:20 AM
ScrawnyKayaker 15
Rachel Maddow said Tuesday night that "No one is coming for your guns." That's legally binding, right? So, restriction of octopus hunting it is.
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 9, 2012 at 10:22 AM
16
Octopi Seattle!
Posted by CommonKnowledge on November 9, 2012 at 10:23 AM
ScrawnyKayaker 17
@12 I'm sure that story will be well and frequently reported in the next shipment of FauxNewzSalts to their addicts.

Oh, wait...
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 9, 2012 at 10:25 AM
Pope Peabrain 18
Goldy- I'd love to hear how you think I-502 will play out.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on November 9, 2012 at 10:28 AM
19
There has been the frequent "news" report on the murder in China, but nothing is ever really reported, just a murder, and some internal political maneuvering and machinations?

SOME SIMPLE QUESTIONS

That Brit from Hakluyt who was murdered in China, and the political turmoil and churn there.

What does it have to do with organ harvesting in China, and with global organ harvesting in general?

What is the connection with David Rockefeller and organ harvesting?

What was the connection with Josef Mengele showing up in Chile, and David Rockefeller?

Why does Rockefeller vacation in Chile every year?

What are the connections between Hakluyt, the private British intel firm, and David Rockefeller? (Anyone ever heard of Frank Wisner, Sr., and Frank Wisner, Jr.?)

Why did Hillary Clinton meet with Richard Mellon Scaife prior to her run for the presidency in 2008? (The very same Richard Mellon Scaife who was behind the "Arkansas Project" to dig up dirt on the Clintons?)

Why did Chris Mellon (DoD/DIA at that time) "leak" Iran's nuclear program back early in the Geo. W. Bush administration?

Some simple questions .....
Posted by sgt_doom on November 9, 2012 at 11:01 AM
20
Probable 2016 presidential candidates:

(D) Elizabeth Warren (and a guy named Inslee as an outside possibility???)

(R) Robert Mueller III

Posted by sgt_doom on November 9, 2012 at 11:03 AM
Bauhaus I 21
Washington is a deeply divided state, and unless I'm missing an important piece of information that says otherwise, it will remain so.

So, here's the thing: For the last 20, maybe 30 years the state has had these very close elections wherein a winner isn't decided for days and sometimes weeks. This needs to stop. Washington needs to change its balloting system or adopt a standard one or do whaever it takes (that's fair, reliable, and honest) to hasten an election's conclusion. It really makes Washington State look like a backwater, like Florida (and Washington State ain't no Florida!). I realize the problem lies in mail-in ballots that arrive on election day and such, but still. There may be factors I am unaware of. In fact, I'm sure there are, but I look at states with way more population than Washington and they get those MFs counted!

Can we get working on that please? Can we re-think a system wherein a winner can be called on election night no matter how close the election (aside from close enough for a recount)?
Posted by Bauhaus I on November 9, 2012 at 12:03 PM
Oshtur Vishanti 22
Talk about Romney not thanking his staff, they had their campaign credit cards voided before they could even take their taxi rides home!
Posted by Oshtur Vishanti on November 9, 2012 at 12:23 PM
Westlake, son! 23
> Lemmings. Lawmakers say there's a renewed, post-election urgency to avoid plunging off the fiscal cliff. Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

How's your Apple stock doing, Goldy?
Posted by Westlake, son! on November 9, 2012 at 1:45 PM
venomlash 24
@12: At first I thought you meant the big bulky football players, not the electrical workers, and I was so confused my desk turned into a burrito.
Posted by venomlash on November 9, 2012 at 3:23 PM

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