Slog
News & ArtsSunday, November 4, 2012
Religion Slog Mormon Study: Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 2:182-84
Posted by Goldy on Sun, Nov 4, 2012 at 7:00 AM
[Slog Bible Study is on hiatus through the November election as we honor Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney by studying his Mormon faith.]
Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 2:182-84
When the Constitution of the United States hangs, as it were, upon a single thread, they will have to call for the “Mormon” Elders to save it from utter destruction; and they will step forth and do it.
Discuss.
1
Too vague, too cyrptic, too mysterious! What DOES it mean?! What is this "single thread"? This ""Mormon""? Do they mean Obama? I bet it's Obama.
2
That's a threat.
Last Slog Mormon Study post! Thanks, Goldy, for wading through the muck of their terrible writing for us. By this time next week, Mitt Romney will be just a memory. (Hopefully.)
Last Slog Mormon Study post! Thanks, Goldy, for wading through the muck of their terrible writing for us. By this time next week, Mitt Romney will be just a memory. (Hopefully.)
3
Give me liberty or give me Mormon Elders. I'll be sneaking into Canada before that happens. Besides, the Catholic pope runs America.
4
Did that fraud really put ironic quotes around the word Mormon?
Jeebus, I want to smack every Mormon in the face, now.
Jeebus, I want to smack every Mormon in the face, now.
5
P.s. by 'that fraud' I am referring to Joseph Smith in case it wasn't clear. It is early and I have not had enough coffee. Except it's Sunday so I should be drinking mimosas. And smacking Mormons in the face for believing that crap.
6
But you and I,
we've been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now
The hour is getting late
we've been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now
The hour is getting late
7
Now I feel like we've been set up these last few months just for this single passage. Not worth the pain.
9
When they US Constitution hangs by a single thread, they will have to call for the seamstresses to re-stitich it, thereby saving it from being resold at Value Village. And they will step forth and sew it.
10
"Yeah, well, when their stupid monogamous country goes tits-up, they'll come begging us to fix their shit for them. And we'll help them, because we're humble and good like that. Then they'll be sorry they ever chased us out of town."
11
It's nice and all, but I prefer the Oath of Vengeance
""You and each of you do covenant and promise that you will pray and never cease to pray to Almighty God to avenge the blood of the prophets upon this nation, and that you will teach the same to your children and to your children's children unto the third and fourth generation."
You know, Mitt is probably fourth generation away from Nauvoo, where the Oath was originated as a way to never forget the US "murder" of Joseph Smith. Coincidence.......or CONSPIRACY? Is the the culmination of some LDS plot to finally destroy the US?!?!!??
Probably not, but it's fun to talk about. I wonder why it hasn't gotten any traction among the nutcases. Probably because they tend not to read.
""You and each of you do covenant and promise that you will pray and never cease to pray to Almighty God to avenge the blood of the prophets upon this nation, and that you will teach the same to your children and to your children's children unto the third and fourth generation."
You know, Mitt is probably fourth generation away from Nauvoo, where the Oath was originated as a way to never forget the US "murder" of Joseph Smith. Coincidence.......or CONSPIRACY? Is the the culmination of some LDS plot to finally destroy the US?!?!!??
Probably not, but it's fun to talk about. I wonder why it hasn't gotten any traction among the nutcases. Probably because they tend not to read.
12
@3: One does not need the adjective 'Catholic' to modify the noun 'Pope'.
And he doesn't run America.
And he doesn't run America.
14
Where was Willard when the Patriot Act was being deliberated? We could have used some Mormon Elders back then.
15
And the "Mormon" elders responded by providing such a repugnant example of wretched inhumanity as an opposition candidate that they assured Obama would win, thus saving the Constitution. Thanks Mormons!
16
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof"
I propose a slight change to the 1st amendment - how about we strike that bit after the comma?
I propose a slight change to the 1st amendment - how about we strike that bit after the comma?
19
hey goldy.. now that we're done with this, what's up next, the koran ? the upanishads ? dianetics ?
20
OK
The Troll must confess to massive disappointment.
Three extra books of Mormon scripture in addition to the Bible and this was all Goldy could find?
And this one isn't even from Mormon scripture.
The Troll must confess to massive disappointment.
Three extra books of Mormon scripture in addition to the Bible and this was all Goldy could find?
And this one isn't even from Mormon scripture.
21
"The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout 'Save us!' And I'll look down and whisper 'No.'"
23
I'm with @22. I think we should do Dianetics next. That would be hilarious. Plus, it would probably double your clicks from the crazies and trolls.
25
Translation: "I love engaging in self-aggrandizing wishful thinking. It makes me come harder when I fuck my youngest wife."
26
No, let's do the gnostic gospels and all the other bits that almost made the bible or first made it but then got scraped over time for being inconvenient.
28
Besides, the fun stuff in Scientology isn't in Dianetics, which is deadly dull self-help claptrap. The goodies are in the private documents you're supposed to pay millions of dollars to see.
29
Read today's study verse, then watch this clip and share it with everyone you know.
The video was running on a commercial break during a Rmoney interview at an Iowa radio station in 2007...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxMD02zU9…
The video was running on a commercial break during a Rmoney interview at an Iowa radio station in 2007...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxMD02zU9…
30
#5 - I'm pretty sure this wasn't authored by Joseph Smith. Probably Brigham Young, seeing as how his name's right there.
32
Like how they saved the Constitution from the Equal Rights Amendment by nailing its coffin door shut! Can't have anything or anyone interfering with the procurement of 14-year-old brides, can we? Can't have women having any alternative choices other than blowing out 11 kids in complete disregard of the Earth's limited resources.
I know, let's overpopulate the Earth so that we'll have a large family in Mormon heaven!
If Romney fails to get 270 electoral votes on Tuesday, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see another Mormon run in 2016. Huntsman, maybe? The pundits won't conclude that a Mormon can't be president. On the contrary, they'll think that door is now open
But I'm putting the cart before the horse. Let's see what happens on Tuesday. I'm very nervous.
I know, let's overpopulate the Earth so that we'll have a large family in Mormon heaven!
If Romney fails to get 270 electoral votes on Tuesday, I wouldn't be a bit surprised to see another Mormon run in 2016. Huntsman, maybe? The pundits won't conclude that a Mormon can't be president. On the contrary, they'll think that door is now open
But I'm putting the cart before the horse. Let's see what happens on Tuesday. I'm very nervous.
33
I saw two guys dressed up as mormon missionaries for Halloween.
They had the typical ultra-conservative-yet-dirt-cheap suits, "elder" nametags, bicycle helmets, and mormon bibles.
They also had liquor bottles, beer cans, starbucks cups, cigarettes, and porn mags conveniently noticeable in their backpacks and on their persons.
Very nice!
(P.S. Yeah, I asked if they were costumes and they said yes... I guess they could have been lying though, seeing as how they'd have been breaking all the other rules anyway)
They had the typical ultra-conservative-yet-dirt-cheap suits, "elder" nametags, bicycle helmets, and mormon bibles.
They also had liquor bottles, beer cans, starbucks cups, cigarettes, and porn mags conveniently noticeable in their backpacks and on their persons.
Very nice!
(P.S. Yeah, I asked if they were costumes and they said yes... I guess they could have been lying though, seeing as how they'd have been breaking all the other rules anyway)
36
@35- I think this explains why The Huntsman isn't an option: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73Wb14NZ0…
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