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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Clowning Donald Trump's Last Act of Clownery Before the Election Is a Sad Clown Moment

Posted by on Wed, Oct 24, 2012 at 9:12 AM

Beloved presidential politics rodeo clown Donald Trump has finally released his statement, and it's pretty embarrassing: He's offering five million dollars to charity if President Obama releases his college transcripts and his passport applications. Trump stipulates that Obama has to release those records "to my satisfaction," which means he'll never give up the five millions dollars, even if President Obama tried to play his little game. He calls President Obama "the least transparent president in history."

It's kind of sad to see Trump's long, glorious career of flirting with the press throughout the 2012 election season end with this, which is something between a wet fart and a sad trombone sound. The poor guy is going to miss the spotlight until he starts clowning the 2016 election cycle, isn't he?

Now, the important thing is that we can't let this distract us from the biggest political question of the day, which is this: Will Mitt Romney retract his endorsement of Richard "God intended [rape]" Mourdock? If he does, he'll look like a flip-flopper to crazy teabaggers and uninformed voters. If he doesn't, he proves that he believes women are second-class citizens. His campaign has avoided the question for now, but they can't keep it up for much longer. UPDATE: Probably hoping to hide the news under the Trump announcement, the Romney campaign just announced that they're standing with Mourdock. Yeah, I kind of figured they'd go for the women-are-second-class-citizens option.

 

Comments (48) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Pithy Name 1
"I have this money that I WOULD give to people who need it... but I'll hold it hostage for my ridiculous demands."

Stay classy, Trump!
Posted by Pithy Name on October 24, 2012 at 9:21 AM
venomlash 2
Obama is less transparent than any other president? Well sure, if by that you mean he's darker.
Posted by venomlash on October 24, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Akbar Fazil 3
Least transparent? Did he seem to forget about Nixon?
Posted by Akbar Fazil on October 24, 2012 at 9:34 AM
4
Ooh ooh, I know how this game works! I have $5 million to give to the charity or SuperPAC of Mitt Romney's choice if he releases a decade's worth of his complete tax returns and those of his "blind" trusts, to my satisfaction. Because it's all about transparency, right?
Posted by sevenless on October 24, 2012 at 9:37 AM
5
Who the fuck is this guy? This is maneuver is classic comic book villainy behavior.

I wish someone would make the same offer to Romney for his tax records.
Posted by sall on October 24, 2012 at 9:39 AM
matt 6
What bothers me the most about Trump's racist campaign is that it's been going on for so fucking long, people seem to have forgotten that it is rooted in deep, ugly racism.

Why isn't Trump asking for proof Romney wasn't secretly born in Mexico, like his father? Because Romney is a white Republican, and because it is a ridiculous suggestion.

Why isn't/wasn't Trump asking for proof that McCain wasn't secretly born in Panama, rather than the Panama Canal? Because McCain is a white Republican, and because it is a ridiculous suggestion. (Btw, the Panama Canal is about the shittiest version of "American soil" a Presidential candidate can be born on.)

Trump and his bigot supporters are only pushing this issue because the President is a not-white-enough Democrat, in spite of it being a ridiculous suggestion.

Jesus Murphy why won't anyone ignore this racist piece of shit?
Posted by matt on October 24, 2012 at 9:42 AM
matt 7
Maybe we should raise $5 million dollars and mail a picture of it to Trump along with a picture of his mom having sex with a bear.
Posted by matt on October 24, 2012 at 9:43 AM
MacCrocodile 8
How am I still disappointed by Donald Trump? That man takes major letdowns to a new level.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on October 24, 2012 at 9:46 AM
monkey 9
The man is about as irrelevant as Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin yet everyone has to report on whatever stupid offensive meaningless shit they say.

I would like them to just go away but the media just won't let that happen.
Posted by monkey on October 24, 2012 at 9:50 AM
Summerisle 10
That fucking whore!
Posted by Summerisle http://www.facebook.com/biggieJ?ref=name on October 24, 2012 at 9:51 AM
11
so, no divorce thing then?
Posted by jns on October 24, 2012 at 9:52 AM
12
Trump is the Kim Kardashian of politics. Fake, vapid, ridiculous, and yet still able to command the attention of the international media at will.
Posted by Westside forever on October 24, 2012 at 9:54 AM
13
@9 "I would like them to just go away but the media just won't let that happen."

Those pieces of shit move units.

I believe the only way to fight the incentives to report on them is boycotts.
Posted by Loud, Visible, Intense Boycotts on October 24, 2012 at 9:57 AM
14
I think President Obama should take the deal and give all the money to Planned Parenthood.
Posted by Leishalynn on October 24, 2012 at 9:57 AM
long-time reader 15
To WHICH charity? And no, the offer is not credible, unless he puts the offer in writing to make it contractually binding and define what his "satisfaction" would be.
Posted by long-time reader on October 24, 2012 at 10:00 AM
Gordon Werner 16
what does releasing his college transcripts and passport applications have to do with anything?
Posted by Gordon Werner on October 24, 2012 at 10:01 AM
17
I'll join #4, and pledge $5 to charity if Mitt releases his tax returns from the last decade, like every other major candidate for a generation has done (and like his Daddy said was the minimal display of good faith the voter had a right to expect). By contrast, no candidates have ever released either their birth certificates or their college transcripts.
Posted by Warren Terra on October 24, 2012 at 10:03 AM
Matt the Engineer 18
@16 He still thinks Obama's birth certificate is fake, hence the passport app. Not sure about college transcripts. Does he now think Obama didn't finish college?
Posted by Matt the Engineer on October 24, 2012 at 10:13 AM
19
@14
"I think President Obama should take the deal and give all the money to Planned Parenthood."

But it would never happen.
Trump would never agree that Obama had released "enough".
It's about control.
The guy with more power controls the guy with less power.
If Obama has to jump through hoops set by Trump to get Trump's money, then Trump is more powerful than the President of the United States of America.

I'm with everyone else who asks why Trump has to put conditions on giving money to charities that need it.
Posted by fairly.unbalanced on October 24, 2012 at 10:16 AM
bearseatbeats 20
@17

Correction: Obama did release his birth certificate because of these racist shit bags. What he is missing is a certificate of whiteness.
Posted by bearseatbeats on October 24, 2012 at 10:18 AM
21
Does Trump actually do anything anymore aside from being an annoying TV person? I know at one point he built casinos and golf courses and other things that went bankrupt but does he still do that?
Posted by giffy on October 24, 2012 at 10:24 AM
blip 22
@18 They want to see his grades. No, I am not kidding. He has been president for 4 years and they want to know how well he performed in college. He's the first affirmative-action president, don't you know.
Posted by blip on October 24, 2012 at 10:35 AM
Urgutha Forka 23
Romney never did release his tax returns, did he?

Trump and the rest of those losers can go fuck themselves.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 24, 2012 at 10:56 AM
Catalina Vel-DuRay 24
I think it would be great if Obama released that stuff and said he'd match Trump in the donation. Although I wonder if Trump even has five million dollars in liquid assets. The guy is a financial moron. It's only because his daddy left him an ungodly amount of money, plus the bankruptcy laws, that he has amounted to anything.

Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay http://www.danlangdon.com on October 24, 2012 at 10:59 AM
25
Many, many years ago, such pure crapola wouldn't be permitted on any news station, but should such appear, said news station would surely have had their license pulled.

Why is this crap allowed to continue? Why are there no longer any standards?

Please allow us to humbly shed some light on the subject.

Profile of a Lobbyist


(A bizarre assassination witness and the corporate consolidation of the U.S. media)

The National Association of Broadcasters (NAB) has played a pivotal role, along with other individuals and several other organizations since the late 1970s, in the overall consolidation of the media. Recently, they filed a legal action against the FCC in federal court to bar the inclusion of data on political advertisements; such data explaining who and what financed said political adverts.

During the Bush administration, the chief lobbyist at NAB was the son of a senior partner at the conservative law firm, Wiley Rein & Fielding (presently, Rein & Fielding), a major contributor to the Bush-Cheney presidential campaigns, and the law firm which successfully won two separate federal court cases for Rupert Murdoch’s Fox News, whereby the federal ruling allows Fox to fictionalize the news. (Many may ask, “When has Fox not fictionalized the news?”)

To repeat: two separate federal court rulings establishing the legality of Fox News to fictionalize the news; equally important, a significant portion of the corporate membership of the NAB filed an amicus curiae brief (“friend of the court” brief) on behalf of Fox --- that is, they were supporting the right of Fox, and any other news station, to fictionalize the news!

A senior (married) partner at Wiley, Rein & Fielding was rumored to be having an affair with an attractive young female attorney at the firm, who tragically died aboard one of the four airliners involved on 9/11. Also tragically, the third wife of the Solicitor General at that time, Ted Olson, also died aboard the same flight. Tragic, yet some might suggest convenient for the senior partner and the Solicitor General who, after the insurance settlement, quickly moved on to wife number four, while the senior partner no longer had to worry about divorce from his very wealthy wife. (Ted Olson was last seen prepping Paul Ryan for his VP debate, and before that Olson successfully litigated the Citizens United case before the US Supreme Court.)

The legal counsel at the NAB, who could also be described as a legal lobbyist, as she filed the legal actions and lawsuits, was for at least thirty years, beginning in 1980, one Valerie Schulte.

Ms. Schulte, a graduate of George Washington law school, matriculated as an undergrad at the University of California where the only unusual event in her life was her most bizarre appearance as the mystery witness at the Robert F. Kennedy assassination trial --- the trial of Sirhan Sirhan.

Over eleven eyewitnesses, ranging in ages from fourteen to a couple in their seventies, identified a mysterious woman in a polka dot dress, described as an olive-skinned brunette in her late twenties or early thirties, who spoke with a foreign accent.

The mystery woman the police brought forward as their witness? Valerie Schulte, a fair complected, petite blonde 20-year-old student from UC, who at the time of the assassination was supposed to have her leg in a full cast and used crutches to get around. (She had a photo of herself back then.)

Nobody recalled seeing Ms. Schulte at the scene of the assassination that night?

What never came out during that travesty of a trial were some curious facts from Ms. Schulte’s background.

Ms. Schulte’s aunt and uncle both worked in the same classified area at Lockheed where the part-time security guard on duty at the assassination site, Thane Cesar, also worked. (This is pertinent as Cesar occupied the position of the originating kill shots directed at Bobby Kennedy, according to forensic evidence the police attempted to quash.)

Ms. Schulte’s father, who worked at the Technicolor Corporation, was involved with a contract with Lockheed; Lockheed worked on spy planes and the Keyhole spy satellite program, with film processing an aspect of the Technicolor Corporation.

While Ms. Schulte certainly didn’t fit the description of the mystery woman in the polka dot dress, she did fit the “petite blonde” description of a young woman who accompanied a fellow who signed into a target firing range as Sirhan earlier on the day of the assassination of Sen. Bobby Kennedy --- a fellow described as an Arabic-looking man of large frame, who stood at 6’2” in height, while Sirhan was of thin stature and was a short 5’2” in height --- a considerable variance!

What also never came out at that trial, but years later during the congressional investigation of the Church Committee into CIA activities, was that Lockheed had a contract with the CIA’s MK ULTRA program (a program of which the mission parameters are still only vaguely known and understood to this very day).

So the mysterious and most bizarre witness, Valerie Schulte, never seen that night, but perhaps observed earlier that day at a target shooting range, would go on to work at a lobbyist firm pivotal in the consolidation of the corporate media.

The facts may be obscured, but sooner or later they usually surface.
More...
Posted by sgt_doom on October 24, 2012 at 11:03 AM
26
I agree with Paul, if by "sad" he means "awesome"
Posted by podcaf on October 24, 2012 at 11:07 AM
27
I applied for my first US passport a couple of months ago. I didn't keep a copy of the application form. Who does that? Why is the application form of more value to Trump than the actual passport?

As the proud owner of a non-US university degree, I don't understand what the big deal is about transcripts either. I don't have one, UK colleges don't give them. I just have the certificate I got at graduation, saying I got a degree.
Posted by originalcinner on October 24, 2012 at 11:12 AM
bedipped 28
Why ya gotta hate on clowns?
Posted by bedipped on October 24, 2012 at 11:13 AM
spamky 29
It doesn't really matter what Rmoney does at this point, the teabaggers are guaranteed votes for him.
Posted by spamky on October 24, 2012 at 11:13 AM
30
And even if those grades were straight A's, they still wouldn't be enough. He would still be the first affirmative action president, unworthy of his accomplishments, only in power because he's black.

Man, I was looking forward to those divorce papers.

My dad used to idolize Donald Trump, when I was a little kid, because he had made such a fortune at such a young age. We were quite poor and struggling and here was this guy who had Figured It Out. He was some kind of genius, possessed of an acuity and fearless initiative beyond the grasp of us dullish mortals. Dad would have waited upon any pronouncement falling from his satin lips like Zeus's priests would have waited for his oracle.

Okay, maybe I'm overstating it. (Sorry, Dad!)

But the point remains.

This was before he was on T.V. all the time, so we had this godly illusion of him, this financial genious. But now as Trump and his fellow 1%ers have exposed themselves in popular culture, the illusion has fallen and we're left with the realization that the filthy rich aren't necessarily smarter or nobler. Rather, they can be as dumb and foolish and petty and flawed as the rest of us. They're not gods at all. In fact, they appear to be more unethical than us dumb slobs who think everyone plays by the rules. No billionaire has done more to demolish this Brahmin illusion than Donald Trump.

So thanks, Mr. Trump!
Posted by floater on October 24, 2012 at 11:21 AM
Will in Seattle 31
Wait, Trump isn't going to pay back the American people all the money he owes us from his many bankruptcies first?

Even GM paid us back.

YOU OWE US MONEY, TRUMP! YOU DIDN'T BUILD THAT!
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on October 24, 2012 at 11:27 AM
Will in Seattle 32
@6 actually, Mitt was born in France. You can tell by his elitist attitude.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on October 24, 2012 at 11:28 AM
blip 33
@30 Hate to break it to your dad, but Trump inherited most of his fortune from his real estate-developing father.
Posted by blip on October 24, 2012 at 11:30 AM
mikethehammer 34
Following @22, I read somewhere (Slate, I think) that Trump thinks his grades were sufficiently inadequate to qualify him for admission to an ivy league school. Whatever. What so many others said, why does anyone give a shit.

What if someone were to start a charity who's sole purpose was to somehow ruin and/or finally render Donald Trump to full fledged irrelevance? And then to get a $5 million donation to that goal?
Posted by mikethehammer on October 24, 2012 at 11:30 AM
35
Tump's hair tells one everything one needs to know about his delusions - self and otherwise.
Posted by jeffg166 on October 24, 2012 at 11:33 AM
Theodore Gorath 36
The government is the only reason Trump still has a roof over his head.

Those bankruptcy laws he depends on all the time can be very favorable to certain people, you know.

Also, like most very wealthy people, he would have nothing if his father had not left him at least 40 million dollars.

Furthermore, he made his own name building government housing during wartime. He would have nothing if not for the federal government, and daddy's inheritance.
Posted by Theodore Gorath on October 24, 2012 at 11:34 AM
37
I can't believe that nobody else has declared @7 the winner of this thread yet.
Posted by jhops on October 24, 2012 at 11:35 AM
38
@27 - I think what he means, is that as President, Obama can instruct the State Department to release his passport application.
Posted by TJ on October 24, 2012 at 11:41 AM
matt 39
@32: Good point. Per Trump's logic, and were Romney unwhite, Mitt's Frenchiness would be HUGE.

@37: I know rite? Oatmeal reference and everything.
Posted by matt on October 24, 2012 at 11:57 AM
40
If Trump gets to choose the charity he contributes the money to, it might be one of these 501(c)(3) organizations (please don't click on the vile links):

Cato Institute
Heritage Foundation
American Family Association
Americans for Prosperity Foundation

There are many other such political money-laundering, uh I mean charitable, organizations.
Posted by N in Seattle http://peacetreefarm.org on October 24, 2012 at 12:03 PM
very bad homo 41
I think a million of us should give $5 to the Obama campaign today.
Posted by very bad homo on October 24, 2012 at 12:10 PM
sperifera 42
"No billionaire has done more to demolish this Brahmin illusion than Donald Trump."

floater @30 gets the sentence of the day, in my mind, but I agree that @7's snark is AWESOME.
Posted by sperifera on October 24, 2012 at 12:35 PM
Geni 43
Donald Trump is still alive?
Posted by Geni on October 24, 2012 at 3:12 PM
crymsonclovur 44
I'm with @7
Posted by crymsonclovur http://crymsonandclovur.tumblr.com/ on October 24, 2012 at 4:22 PM
Bonefish 45
I too find it highly suspicious that the busiest man in the country refuses to dig up his old college transcripts at the whim of some spoiled, stubby-dicked attention whore.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on October 25, 2012 at 1:07 PM
46
Regards the least transparent idea: It is true that the Obama administration has prosecuted more whistleblowers than any president in history.
Posted by clashfan on October 25, 2012 at 4:54 PM
Simone 47
Colbert is going to give a million to Trumps charity of choice if Colbert is allowed to stick his balls in Trumps open mouth.
Posted by Simone on October 25, 2012 at 5:07 PM
48
A Gentleman's C refers to affirmative action for guys not named Barack Obama. Hm, reminds me of someone else, though I can't put a name to it.
Posted by sheiler http://sheilerama.com on October 27, 2012 at 8:46 PM

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