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Tuesday, October 23, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Buttpons

Posted by on Tue, Oct 23, 2012 at 11:43 AM

I'm on hiatus while working on a manuscript for a new book. In the meantime, please enjoy these classic Savage Love letters pulled from previous columns. I will be back November 1st, when the book is finished. —Dan

Originally published September 16, 2010:

I'm sorry about sending this letter to you via snail mail. I don't want to send an e-mail because I'd rather not have a record of this living forever on some server somewhere.

About six months ago, after watching my girlfriend insert a tampon, I asked if I could do it for her next time. She thought it was an odd request but agreed. After "helping" a few times, the conversation turned to what it felt like to wear one. Her response was, "Want to try one yourself?" With her help—and a little lube—soon there was a string hanging out of my butt. This has now become a regular feature of our sex life. And I have started doing this when I masturbate alone. I went out and got my own box of tampons—Tampax Pearl Plastic Regular are the best (they're the easiest to insert)—which I keep hidden.

I have a few questions:

1. Why do I get such a euphoric feeling when I pull the tampon out when I'm coming? Does it have something to do with my prostate?

2. Am I doing any damage to myself?

3. Just how deviant is this practice?

The Ass Man's Peculiar Anal Xccentricity

My response after the jump...

1. The tampon in your ass swells as it absorbs lube and rectal mucus and whatever else, TAMPAX, and stimulates—yes, indeed—your prostate as it swells. Yanking the tampon out when you're coming further stimulates your prostate at the exact moment it's being zapped by orgasmic contractions—contractions that involve your anal sphincter, which you're also stimulating as you yank. A butt plug would provide you with the exact same sensations—well, the exact same physical sensations. Part of the tampon-related thrill for you, I suspect, is the gender-transgression aspect of this. You're not just penetrating yourself, TAMPAX, you're penetrating yourself with an absorbent feminine talisman. Not all men who enjoy anal penetration are interested in being symbolically feminized—ahem—but clearly you are, TAMPAX.

2. My hunch: As long as you're using lube and not leaving 'em in for days at a time, you should be fine. And a medical expert I consulted—who wished to remain anonymous (he didn't want his name linked forever to anal tampon play on some server somewhere, either)—backed me up. "This would pose zero risk," says my medical expert. "Medically, there's nothing else to say about it."

3. When it comes to human sexuality, TAMPAX, deviation from imaginary and tyrannical "norms" is the norm.

 

Comments (11) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Urgutha Forka 1
Who wants to bet Dan won't be back Nov. 1st?
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 23, 2012 at 11:56 AM
2
I'm trying as hard as I can to finish this stupid book. And I'm hardly gone—still blogging a bit, still writing a new "Savage Love" column every week, still recording a new podcast every week.

Cut me some slack!
Posted by Dan Savage on October 23, 2012 at 12:17 PM
ArtBasketSara 3
Never! I'm going to go complain to my cat that Dan Savage is still posting SLLOD reruns...
Posted by ArtBasketSara on October 23, 2012 at 12:58 PM
4
@1 Dan has an extremely full plate and the only thing he is reusing is SLLOTD; every other thing he does are still being done regularly. I don't really care that he's recycling SLLOTD since I'm a fairly new reader and haven't read most of the letters he posting. You try doing everything Dan does in a day and then see if you could add something else to your plate. Just SLLOTD probably adds an hour or two to Dan's daily to do list. Unless you are in a similar situation as Dan (and I highly doubt you are) shut the hell up.
Posted by butterflyrose83 on October 23, 2012 at 1:01 PM
5
Anal tampon use is actually pretty common among men suffering from prostate cancers and other ailments that cause serious anal bleeding. It can be put in the category of a standard medical suggestion.
Posted by jds on October 23, 2012 at 1:06 PM
6
@1 Quit being snarky. Have you ever written a book? It's not like he has 24 hours of free time every day. He has a family, along with all his other, non-SLLotD work to keep up with. @4 I'm with you- I'm a new enough reader that these are all new to me anyway.
Posted by SfR on October 23, 2012 at 1:18 PM
Urgutha Forka 7
Learn it. Know it. Live it.

Keep your flying monkeys off me Dan!
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 23, 2012 at 1:45 PM
8
Wow, 4, fangirl much?
Posted by clashfan on October 23, 2012 at 2:05 PM
emma's bee 9
Sounds a bit like Urquhart McVarish, who liked a soft accordioned ribbon inserted in advance and then pulled out just at the moment of orgasm.
Posted by emma's bee on October 23, 2012 at 4:58 PM
Corylea 10
"When it comes to human sexuality, deviation from imaginary and tyrannical 'norms' is the norm."

Dan, you should sell bumper stickers with this on them.
Posted by Corylea http://corylea.com/ on October 23, 2012 at 5:12 PM
OutInBumF 11
Here to tell you men- tampons up the butt *can* be fun! That is all.
Posted by OutInBumF on October 23, 2012 at 8:27 PM

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