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Monday, October 22, 2012

Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father

Posted by on Mon, Oct 22, 2012 at 4:23 PM

Zina Haughton wasn’t supposed to see or hear from her husband again for four years. He had slashed her tires and fought with her in their Brown Deer, Wisc., home, court records stated. And according to a petition for a restraining order she filed in Milwaukee County in early October, he had threatened to throw acid in her face and set her on fire with gasoline. “He said he would kill me if I left him or ever contacted the police,” Haughton, 42, said in court papers.

Less than two weeks later, police said, Radcliffe Haughton, 45, walked into the Brookfield spa and hair salon where she worked on Sunday and killed her in a mass shooting that left two other women dead and four more women wounded, one critically. Haughton then shot himself to death, according to authorities. The pair is survived by two of their children.


Comments (17) RSS

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Sargon Bighorn 1
It's all so sanctified. Marriage MUST be protected from the evil Homo Agenda that seeks to destroy "the family". Never mind that the Hetero-folk are literally destroying their own families with guns.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on October 22, 2012 at 5:11 PM · Report this
icouldliveinhope 2
This is a small gripe, but it seems kind of insensitive and journalistically lazy to refer to them as "the pair."
Posted by icouldliveinhope on October 22, 2012 at 5:17 PM · Report this
rob! 3
When I was in junior high I was aware of, but not close to, twin sisters who were in foster care because their father had murdered their mother.

At some point I read an essay by one of the sisters, maybe in the school paper or yearbook, describing an earlier, happier time when their family had gone to Disneyland and said something to the effect that "later, after my mom died," those memories were important to her.

I expressed incredulity to my older brother, normally cloddishly insensitive to other people's feelings (think Kevin Arnold's brother Wayne in The Wonder Years, that she didn't say what I knew had really happened. My brother gave me a well-deserved dope slap. It's still embarrassing to remember my attitude at the time—especially because I would later discover that the irregularities in my own family (mental illness and parental conflict) were well known in the neighborhood and the subject of frequent gossip, some benign and some malicious.
Posted by rob! on October 22, 2012 at 5:21 PM · Report this
Albany NY has a policy where they aggressively encourage abused wives/ girlfriends to file charges against their assailants. They are not to have ANY communication the abused. No phone calls, no flowers, no"hey baby I didn't mean it " bullshit. If they do, they go to jail and stay there.

We still haven't learned that when a man threatens a woman like this people die. Figure it law enforcement people.
Posted by alisamc on October 22, 2012 at 5:45 PM · Report this
black men are so violent.....
Posted by Danny should do a YouTube series about it on October 22, 2012 at 6:02 PM · Report this
but danny!

goldy said those people got shot because they owned guns!

goldy said people are FOOLS to think guns protect them!

goldy said owning guns makes people MORE unsafe!

now you come here telling us those people got shot because Haughton is heterosexual?

we are so confused :(
Posted by pull our finger... on October 22, 2012 at 6:11 PM · Report this
Alisamc, I was actually looking into the Wisconsin statues for this today for my own purposes (I recently got out of an abusive relationship of my own) and they seem to have similar language. If someone is arrested in a domestic violence dispute, they aren't allowed to have contact with the victim for a certain period of time, no matter what. I'd guess that's relatively universal. That said, (and I really despise the reality of this statement) if you haven't been there it's pretty difficult to comprehend what it feels like. Personally, I had no regard for myself and only cared about the well-being of my partner, even when I thought he'd kill me. Also, even with those laws in place, it's still impossible to enforce in a situation like this. He knew where she worked and when and just rolled right in.
Posted by Geiselchen on October 22, 2012 at 7:00 PM · Report this
yeah, i don't know any laws other than a fully enforced ban on firearms that would have prevented this.
Posted by ellarosa on October 22, 2012 at 7:07 PM · Report this
Children who grow up in a violent home are more likely to be victims of child abuse. Those who are not direct victims have some of the same behavioral and psychological problems as children who are themselves physically abused. Kids who are exposed to violence in the home may have difficulty learning and limited social skills, exhibit violent, risky or delinquent behavior, or suffer from depression or severe anxiety.

It is estimated that 3.2 million American children witness incidents of domestic violence annually. We are lucky to have Childhaven in our community that provides healing, hugs and hope for the youngest victims of abuse and neglect. Thank you, Dan for reminding us that therapeutic care and healing is available here in King County.

Statistics and info from…
Posted by amiable.willow on October 22, 2012 at 7:25 PM · Report this
Half of women's deaths are from intimate partner violence.
Posted by kersy on October 22, 2012 at 8:03 PM · Report this
Restraining orders are useless. A piece of paper can't protect you. They've been known to have been found in murdered women's purses.
Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker.
Posted by chi_type on October 22, 2012 at 8:37 PM · Report this

half of all female children conceived are killed by their mother
Posted by sometimes you are the windshield. sometimes you are the bug. on October 22, 2012 at 9:24 PM · Report this
Including this story in 'Every child deserves...' makes me uncomfortable. Dan wants to point up examples of straight married couples failing at parenthood, fine. This is not a straight couple failing at parenthood - this is one half of a couple abusing and killing his wife. It happens way too often and Dan should be supporting victims of domestic abuse, not using their tragic stories to promote a different agenda.
Posted by misspiggy on October 23, 2012 at 6:06 AM · Report this
Lissa 14
@8: No. That is a reductive and tone deaf thing to say. Your solution is completely outside the realm of reality, and adds nothing to trying to mitigate the problem of intimate partner violence. Even without a gun, he would have found a way to kill her.
Posted by Lissa on October 23, 2012 at 8:30 AM · Report this

You're missing the point.

The basis of the federal laws that deny us our equal rights, and of state laws and constitutional amendments locking that in at the state level is the constant refrain that straight people are always better for kids than any gay people can ever be.

Think about that. Not that the best of straight marriages are better than the best of gay marriages. That the WORST of all possible straight marriages are BY DEFINITION, better enough for society and for children that all gay couples, even the very best, must be forever prevented from marrying.

They're saying that Every. Single. Same-Sex Couple. is worse for society than the one in that article. And worse for kids. They're saying that this guy who murdered his wife and killed or wounded a bunch of other people is a better parent than Dan or Terry are.

As an official matter of state and federal law.

And you think Dan is overreacting? I think he's being astonishingly restrained.

Not enough room in your world to be supportive of more than one group of people at a time? That's sad.

Did you pair this attack on Dan with a letter to your elected officials demanding LGBT equality? Why do I suspect that the answer is no?
Posted by Lymis on October 23, 2012 at 8:41 AM · Report this
@15 What attack on Dan are you talking about? Saying "I think you're using the wrong approach to further your agenda" isn't an attack.

Why are you being so insulting and dismissive in your response? @13 made a legitimate observation...a personal one...something that made her uncomfortable. And instead of just explaining your point, you did it in a way that makes you sound like an asshole at the same time?

What the hell is that all about?
Posted by ColdComfort on October 23, 2012 at 9:01 AM · Report this
keshmeshi 17

Perhaps. But it would have been significantly more difficult, and he very likely would have not murdered two bystanders as well.

Consider the fact that men commit more *successful* suicides that women (even when women attempt suicide more often), and a major reason for that is that men are more likely to own guns. A gun is an incredibly effective means to kill quickly and en masse and with no opportunity for the victim to escape, fight back, or survive the injury.
Posted by keshmeshi on October 23, 2012 at 12:53 PM · Report this

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