Congratulations, the Stranger! You’ve somehow managed to hire Emily Nokes, a music writer that’s even dumber than Megan Selig. Kudos.
But why stop there? Why not take this aging teeny-bopping worthless scenester and make her the editor of the whole music department? What’s that? That’s exactly what you did? Well, once again you’re one step ahead of me and a million miles behind the times. Let’s start with some excerpts of her reviews in your October 10-16, 2012 issue, and I quote:
“aww” – from Wreckless Eric & Amy Rigby review
“Double aww!” – from same
“EEEEEEEH!” – from Naomi Punk review
Those quotes are taken out of context, but they are there nonetheless. To be fair to Emily here is another quote from the Naomi Punk review:
“…they take their time, unwinding with high airy vocals and oddly gratifying key changes that fade in and out as they please.”
Which isn’t bad, except she’s describing Naomi Punk, a band that does none of those things. If you go to Naomi Punk’s bandcamp site you get the privilege of hearing two cuts from their latest sold out LP The Feeling. The first one is entitled Voodoo Trust, a bland garagey drone that sounds like it was recorded with a set of cheap headphones plugged into a boombox. They do not take their time. The vocals are anything but airy as the singer whines out of key in the background. Fortunately his poor voice is buried beneath an uninspired derivative surf guitar lick that is repeated over and over until the key does in fact change. Once. To an equally uninspired and stale progression until the song finally ends as though the band just stopped playing for no good reason.
The other song entitled The Spell sounds remarkably similar to Voodoo Trust. So much so that it’s not worth mentioning any further.