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Wednesday, October 17, 2012

A Critical Overview of The Stranger

Posted by on Wed, Oct 17, 2012 at 9:00 AM

We're observing Slog silence from now until 11 a.m. while we have an editorial meeting, but look—we made an entire paper's worth of stuff for you! Here's what Jim Givens has to say.

Before you ask, because everyone asks: grand theft auto. I was 19, I was drunk, and I thought it would be a great idea to try to outrun the cops. Okay? I'm not going to blame anyone besides myself. It was a dumb mistake, and I paid the price with five years of my life. That was almost a decade ago. Now I've got a successful small business, a great girlfriend, and a nice condo, and I am, by any metric you choose, an upstanding Seattleite.

And I'm not allowed to vote.

By the time the next presidential election happens, there will be more than six million convicted felons in the United States who don't have the right to vote. It's a backward, moronic system that doesn't allow for forgiveness, which is a necessary characteristic of any civilized nation.

Besides not being allowed to participate in the most basic right provided by the Constitution, the worst thing about being a convicted felon is reading The Stranger's endorsements. Here you have a bunch of bratty d-bags who are handed access to just about every candidate and almost all the organizations behind every initiative. They're the only paper in the city to do endorsements besides the Seattle Times (and don't get me started on the Times or we'll be here forever). But what do we find in their endorsement issue, time after time? A lazy, unprincipled, expletive-stuffed guide that insults the intelligence of its readers and basically slaps me (and all the convicted felons like me) in the face with its willful ignorance.

The thing that really bugs me about The Stranger's endorsements is how obvious they are. I mean, of course they're going to endorse Barack Obama and Jay Inslee. Never mind that a Gary Johnson endorsement would probably be more shocking (therefore more Strangeresque) and impactful than an Obama endorsement. If there's a presidential candidate who more closely hews to The Stranger's philosophy (pro-pot, pro-homo, pro-abortion) than Johnson, I haven't heard of him, and a third-party surge would be just the thing to shake the gridlocked partisan hacks in DC out of their slumber.

And Inslee is so safe and inoffensive as to be virtually invisible. Rob McKenna has some problems, of course, but he's a hell of a lot more realistic than Inslee with his made-up bushel of green jobs (seriously, Inslee's green energy future is less tenable than Mitt Romney's magic 12 million jobs he'll just pull out of Paul Ryan's baby-soft ass). And what we need now is a pragmatist in the governor's office.

Once The Stranger toes the party line, they go for shock value. You have to endorse the mediocre talents at the top of the ticket so you can make some noise in the under-cards, like how they're throwing a competent journeyman like Frank Chopp under the bus so they can promote a socialist like Kshama Sawant. Gotta be "edgy," no matter what—right, Stranger? Hey, you know what's edgier than endorsing a nobody candidate in a race with no consequences? Demanding that convicted felons be allowed the right to vote. Or, to put it in language that you'll understand, Stranger: Fuck you, you fucking fucks.


Comments (7) RSS

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Cato the Younger Younger 1
This guy is lucky he just lost his right to vote. If the "God fearing Christians" had their way anyone who committed any crime would be simply executed. It's the way the baby Jesus would want it.
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on October 17, 2012 at 9:15 AM · Report this
rob! 2
I appreciate the homage to Esquire's late, lamented "Dubious Achievement Awards" annual feature.……
Posted by rob! on October 17, 2012 at 10:14 AM · Report this
Dear SLOG,

Please note that the SECB has once again given one of your Enemies of SLOG, Dave Reichert, a free pass.

This is a continuing indignity up with which you should not put.
Posted by Gary Ridgeway on October 17, 2012 at 10:22 AM · Report this
Do you not reside in Washington state? The law was changed in 2009 to make it easier to re-enfranchise formerly convicted felons. Essentially, once you're released from prison, you can vote again.
Posted by TJ on October 17, 2012 at 10:31 AM · Report this
Bigsfrottin 5
You really believe based on reading the Stranger that they should enorse Gary Johnson?

A. Have you ever read Savage's views on Nader?

B. Gary Johnson also wants to get rid of financial regulation as well as the federal reserve. Why would the Stranger endorse that? That's just silly.

Plus your article goes from being angry at them for not being edgy in choosing a presidential endorsement, and then criticizing them for being edgy by choosing a 'socialist'.

And I'm pretty sure I've seen arguments for allowing convicted felons to vote time and time again in the Stranger.

Lastly, you said (and I'm paraphrasing) that Rob McKenna is somewhat realistic. I find that entirely hilarious. It's a shame you can't vote being there is no good reason for that, but your critique of the Stranger's endorsements is just inane.
Posted by Bigsfrottin on October 17, 2012 at 11:04 AM · Report this
Bigsfrottin 6
Oh and I get that your whole point was they choose a not edgy presidential candidate and then an edgier local candidate but how does that not make sense to you?

We live in a much more progressive area, thus, we can elect more progressive candidates.

They don't follow some "Stranger guidelines of fucktardness" they use logic and rational.
Posted by Bigsfrottin on October 17, 2012 at 11:07 AM · Report this
Will in Seattle 7
Could be worse.

He could be jailed indefinitely for resisting a Grand Jury and insisting that he has rights.
Posted by Will in Seattle on October 17, 2012 at 11:34 AM · Report this

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